How to Deal with Hatred?

Four coffees for four people

I've come to expect "baby killer." I still haven't gotten used to the whole, "You should have killed yourself" or "You should be sterilized" or "You should have your tongue ripped out." But these attacks are typically on twitter, where people can see my avatar, and not actually me. It's safe to attack people in other states.

This morning, I organized some friends, rounded them up around 8am, and headed south to Portland. From there, we took a small coffee break, a small potty break, and found Planned Parenthood. There were already a few protesters lining the street. The rain was coming down in sheets.

I wasn't there for an abortion this time, but the sight of them crawled into my veins like shards of glass mixed with fire ants. Children, younger than their teen years, were holding signs of what they dubbed "Aborted Fetuses."

I was in the state of Maine. Rain was pouring down my face. Yet, for a split second, I was in Virginia on a sunny day, shaking as a friend wrapped her arm around me and whispered, "Don't listen to them, honey. Don't listen."

The caffeine kicked into my system, and I started shaking. My friends and I pulled out our signs:

"We Support You" "Honk for Choice" and "Planned Parenthood Saved My Life"

Immediately the tension in the air rose like a vibration from an amp that had just been turned on. It was almost tangible. I wasn't sure if we were going to get hurt, assaulted, or just verbally attacked. Cars began to honk for the honk for choice sign. People walked by and high fived us. And then the gentleman to the left of this picture began to call us "Willfully ignorant" even after I explained, "Sorry, actually. I know exactly what happens. I had an abortion, but thanks."

From there, he continued to insult us. Women walked passed us with the greeters while protesters accosted them. A representative from Planned Parenthood stepped out and said that it's hard for women entering the clinic to differentiate signs of support from signs of hate and malice. We decided to move across the street, where more people high fived us and honked.

And the protesters began to yell across the street, "Why did you move? Are you scared of us?!"

"We're not scared," I hollered back. "We just don't want to look like YOU."

She yelled for a few more minutes before finally giving up. Our signs began to run (turns out when Crayola says "Washable paint" they ain't kiddin). When Honk for Choice was no longer visible, and Your Body, Your Choice leaked onto the street, we called it a day.

I've spent all day going over this in my mind. My friends and I weren't there to spread hate, rather an environment of acceptance, and support for women who may be there on the worst day of their lives. It's hard for me to separate the hatred and anger I feel from my abortion experience and protesters, to what's currently happening.

I accept people have freedom of speech. I accept that they may be awful people. But it's one thing to verbally attack someone online. It's an entirely different thing to attack someone as she's walking, with her head down, through doors you may never enter.

So my question is, how do you deal with that kind of hatred?

A Call For Submissions

 I've been blowing this blog up a lot with the whole abortion debate, and politics, and other fun things. In order to focus The Submission Process more-so on writing (and ranting about the real world), and less on politics/changing the world, I'm starting a new blog, AbortionChat, and right now, I'm calling for submissions.

Really, really excited

The idea behind this is I want to hear from everyone. ProLife, ProChoice, Pro--whatever. Male, female, puppy, etc. I had a meeting with some folks from Planned Parenthood, and basically, we want to spread some grey area. Abortion is no longer a black and white area. There are people out there who say, "I'm against it...unless in case of incest." So, I want to know why you believe the things you do, why are you for/against abortion? Did someone close to you have one? Are you involved in the church? Were you raped? Do you have a little girl who you want to be allowed to make her own decisions with her body?

With that said, I'm hoping to launch this here new blog sometime in March. I'd love if you'd stop by. Even if you don't want to tell your story, maybe you can connect with someone else's.

Have an awesome weekend. It seems like Baxter will...

#AbortionChat

We are women, hear us roar

Last week I had a meeting with a representative from my local Planned Parenthood on how I could get involved. He told me why he wanted to work with the non-profit organization, and why it's important that health centers offer a wide variety of sexual health services. I told him my story.

From there we discussed what we dubbed, "Grey area."

The truth about abortion/carrying a fetus to term/opting for adoption is that the questions are no longer black and white. It's no longer a simple line of, "Are you pregnant?" but more so "Why are you pregnant?"

There are factors that determine pregnancy or abortion rates:

*Marriage
*Rape
*Contraception
*Failure of contraception
*Incest
*Eating disorders
*Mental health
*Genetics
*Your own parents

This is just a small list but dissect the words. There can be happy healthy marriages, and there can be domestic abuse marriages. Rape no matter how you put it, is awful. The bottom line is that there are women walking into clinics around the nation seeking a medical procedure. Many are judged. Many, like me, are screamed at by protesters holding signs on the sidewalks. The truth is, I don't know that woman, so who am I to pass judgement on her circumstance? Is she going there to end her pregnancy? Yes. But the real question here may be, why?

This Tuesday, February 12, 2013 at 9pm (EST), I will be hosting an #AbortionChat on twitter. If you have questions about the procedure, if you want more information, or if you want to gain knowledge from the safety of your own computer, please join us, we'd love to have you there. All we ask is that you keep an open mind.