Books and Boards: A Dream

Books and Boards. Best idea yet.

A long long time ago, I got it in my head that I really liked books. My ideal jobs were; a librarian, a bookstore clerk, or a coffee shop barista. Well, we all know I got fired from a coffee shop. And well, sort of a library. But, of these career choices, I have yet to take on a bookstore clerk. Or, better yet, bookstore owner.

Until now.

The local bookstore is for sale. It has three floors and a basement. Baxter and I would be able to live on the second floor. Ideal since I hate moving, PLUS I hear it has three bedrooms. Suddenly, BOOM all those rent payments are going towards paying off this ginormous loan! The third floor is rented out to a yoga studio that pays $450/month. The first floor and basement are a mix of new and used books.

The catch: I'm broke. I hear you have to have money for a down payment on such a venture. Either way, I'm meeting with the realtor Wednesday to look at the entire building, and Thursday, I'm going to try to talk to the bank to see how much a loan like this would cost/how much of a down payment I'd need/is this a good idea?

My projected time frame is this:

Buy it by July.

We'd be like this. Only, we'd be at work!

By October/November turn it into a Books and Boards shop. We'll sell books and snowboards, because
well, those are the two very best things in life. Plus, across the street is a bike and ski shop. There are no board shops around here.

Then Baxter and I live happily ever after, while he rocks out at work with me.

What could possibly go wrong?

U is for Understanding

Notice he's not leashed?
Told him to just stay and be good.

Baxter has never been through obedience school (I feel like he'd flunk out anyway). He hasn't really been trained, other than by hand signals when I don't want to talk to him in the mornings. But somehow, he's an inherently good dog.

When we lived in NC, in order to get into our house, you literally had to kick the door open. We'd just finished going for a walk, and because he was standing so close, I tried gently pushing my foot against the door. It didn't budge.

"Bax, can you step to the side so I can kick this?" I asked.

He literally stepped to the side.

Before we left, we visited my friend Jake. I left Baxter with him while I went adventuring a few hours away. The following day I got a text saying, "I love your

He's all, "Dude, it's messy. Please clean"

dog." When asked why, he explained that his sister had had a seizure. Baxter somehow understood that something was wrong, woke Jake up and led him to her.

There have been a lot of small things like this, Baxter brings you a toy, and you say, "No, get your new toy," and he drops that one and finds the one you've just told him to get. I have no clue how he does this, but somehow he does.

Which is why, Baxter is my favorite person on the planet :)

In happier news, WE'RE SO CLOSE TO THE END OF THE A TO Z! HANG IN THERE!

I Pee in the Shower

On October 16, 2012 one of my Life Goals had been accomplished. I was in attendance for a Post Secret event and got to meet the founder of the project.

Frank Warren (the founder of PS) has a theory that we all have secrets, and if we keep them secrets they become walls. But, if we're brave and we tell those secrets, it has the ability to turn those walls into bridges (his words, not mine).

One of the most common secrets he said he gets is "I pee in the shower." I'm not gonna lie, I pee in the shower. I feel like a) it's more environmentally friendly and b) it's a time saver and c) Haha, boys. I can pee standing up, too.

You just, you know, pee first, then lather, rinse, repeat.

Anyways, at the end of the event, Frank invites the attendees to go to the microphones and say something. It can be a secret, it can be a thanks for the project, whatever. And because a year ago last week, I found out I was pregnant, and suicide was a better option than having a child, I went up to the mic. I told my story, about writing "If I test positive I'm going to kill myself," and mailing it in, about having an abortion, chopping my hair off, changing my name, and moving 1,000 miles away.

Frank Warren! I got to shake his hand!

In that aspect, I did kill myself. But, I'm alive. Because I told my friends and my dog my secret, and they kept me alive when I couldn't breathe.

The last girl at the microphone was small, and adorable. She said something along the lines of, "You know, I've always been a goodie-two-shoes. And when I got stoned out of my mind, I realized I have the best friends in the entire world."

The audience cheered for her. I cheered for her. The fourteen year old version of me who believed that Harry Potter was demonic cried a little inside, but thankfully, her voice is getting smaller and smaller by the day.

On the way home, I called my mom. For the last year I've been hiding what happened, why I moved from North Carolina. And I told her. Then we hung up, and I exhaled. I assumed she'd tell me I was a huge disappointment, or that she was disowning me. Instead, less than five minutes later, my phone rang. It was her.

"Hello?" I asked.

"I just wanted to tell you that I still love you," she said.

I smiled. My relationship with my mother is a complicated one. I grew up hating her, moved to Maine to get away from her, and now we chat on a frequent basis. I didn't tell her I loved her back, I wanted to, but I couldn't. Instead, I said, "Thank you. Thank you a lot," and we hung up again.

So, for those of you who pee in the shower, who have holes in your doors from your parents trying to break in and beat you, for those of you who have cutting scars, or want to grow up to become the cat woman, I love you. Don't be afraid of your secrets. Own them, embrace them, share them, and exhale.

You're in good company here :)

Maine: A Place of Healing

Life has always been a place where my arms and legs get severed, my heart has been ripped out of my chest, and I'm in the process of bleeding out...

Then I run away to Maine...and start stitching myself together. I ran away after High School to this place, and it was a hard adjustment. I thought my roommates were whores, I was super awkward (wait a second, I still am...)...and I got home sick. I missed out on Central Michigan University's Basketball games, I missed my sisters, I left Baxter with my aunt and uncle in Massachusetts, and I hated my major (medical biology, which I sucked at).

College was rough, so after I graduated, I moved to North Carolina. But last year when I found myself going through another blender (ha, that's actually kind of true), I sought one place as a refuge. The wonderful state of Maine.

In the process of dying, I chopped my hair off...
I look happy, but I sure wasn't...

For those of you who have never been here, part of the reason why I love it is because it really does get all four seasons.

Pumpkin picking!

When it's Fall, the bite in the air creeps into your bones and makes you put on a hoodie. The leaves turn neon. There are countless places that have pumpkin picking, apple picking, and overall wonderful-ness.

The smell of falling leaves engulfs your nose wherever you are.

While the stars don't quite compare to the southern sky, it is still magical to curl under a blanket with a cup of hot apple cider and watch the sky hoping for a shooting star.

I do not take pictures while driving...

Then the cold gets...colder. Suddenly, you've found yourself in a blizzard.

People who live here warn you about Winter. They tell you to brace yourself, and have warm clothes. Most of us have spare flashlights and candles, especially after that ice storm in 2008 (I think it was that year), and an endless supply of blankets (usually an emergency blanket in our car, too).

Sometimes, the snow piles will cover your vehicle. Sometimes, you'll be knee deep. Many mornings you'll have to go out before you brush your teeth, start your car, scrape off the ice that's accumulated, and then go inside to finish getting ready and pray your vehicle will be warm by the time you get back to it.

But one thing is for sure, if you're in high school or college, you'll be guaranteed at least one day off of school.

Snowball fights are magic. Snow angels are great when you're a snowboarding instructor and teaching several seven year olds.

Don't live in Maine if you don't appreciate Winter, because this season teaches you how to be a kid again, to go sledding, to throw snowballs, and get your car stuck in parking lots after a huge snow storm. Your vehicle will slide all over the road, but it's awesome. You feel like a race car driver...until you see a semi-truck coming...:/

It's warm, but not too warm

As the snow melts, you find yourself in Spring. By this point, chances are you've almost forgotten what warmth and sunburns feel like. Your memory comes back quick, though.

It rains a lot, it's still cold most nights, so while you wear shorts during the daylight hours, you find yourself in sweatpants and hoodies while you sit around campfires in the darkness.

They days smell good, like a mixture of fresh dirt, cut grass, and budding flowers. While Winter froze most of everything the grass turns green as if by magic, you see life again...and suddenly, while you thought Winter was so much fun, you start looking forward to Summer, and the beach, and running after a long hiatus.

You can swim as the sun sets, because some nights...
it's that hot.

I think people forget to tell you that Summer exists in Maine, and that it comes full force. If you don't have fans, or air conditioning, or a house that lives in the shade of a large tree, you're kind of screwed, because it is not immune to heat waves.

In Summer proper attire is shorts, a t-shirt (maybe wife beater or tank top), and usually a baiting suit underneath  because you never know when someone will say, "Hey, let's go to the lake/river/ocean." If you work in air conditioning all day, and walk outside, it's like getting sucker punched....by heat. You've got to get out of it!

But if you wait it out, soon enough an entire year has passed. Fall will comes again, and if you're anything like me, you'll find yourself itching for snow.

A very large portion of my heart and being reside in Maine. When I grew up in Michigan, I found myself wanting to go (t)here (possibly because all the water bottles said, ME Bottle Deposit, 5 cents and I thought I could get rich). So, I moved and found myself here for college for four years. Then moved to North Carolina, and when I died last year, there was only one place I knew could heal me and make me sane again.

Now a year later, I'm recovering...
And my hair has grown back :)

So what about you guys, where do you go for healing? What's your favorite season?

Research II: Obtaining Sponsorship

You know that moment where you write about something really cool? Like, maybe your MC throws a disc in a game of disc golf, or takes off running in a cross country meet, or stands up in front of peers at prom to sing some karaoke? And then you realize...

Crap. I don't know what I'm talking about.

Me (black) and sister (tie-die) preparing to sing karaoke.
The dismayed, "What am I doing here?" face is why
this picture is here :)

There's a point where you can't just make something up because in fiction, things have to make sense, or at least, be plausible. For example, if you're at a soccer game, you're not going to start dribbling the ball with your hand. Some people may not know that, but a majority will.

This is the point where you have to do research and fully understand what you're writing. Sometimes it's as easy as going to a middle school/high school and chatting with some kids. Sometimes you can google, "What are tents made out of?" (Which I literally did yesterday.)

In My Sister's Memories, Allie and Mike were stellar disc golf players. I sided more with Sarah (the older sister) who ended up in the trees. I'd played a couple of times before, once at church camp when I was in like, 8th grade, and once in August when I'd evacuated for Hurricane Irene. This second time, I played with my friend Jake and his friend Greg, who were extremely good players.

An excellent place to play if you're ever in Burlington, NC

At the time I'd played, I didn't expect disc golf to appear in a novel, but in November, that's what Allie ended up playing. Because I'd taken pictures with Jake and Greg, I had a decent recollection of the day and the game, but it had still been awhile since I'd played.

Now, I lived in Maine and had no idea where disc golf courses were, and didn't own any of my own equipment. So, I contacted Innova Discs, sent a simple e-mail saying:

My name is Lynne Schmidt, and I'm an author doing researching on disc golf for my young adult novel. (I told them the premise of the story), and then said, I was wondering if you'd be willing to donate some discs for my research?

Sure enough, less than a week later, I had an Innova Disc box waiting for me on the kitchen table. It was April before I really got to play, but when I did, I took note of the surroundings, the way I threw (and still managed to end up in the trees). But I got to play, I got to do sponsored research, and it was fun. PLUS! I got to keep the discs for future playing!

So, what's my point? Sometimes we don't have money to fully research our projects (after all, we are writers). But sometimes, we can contact companies, and they'll be willing to help us out in exchange for a blog post. If they're not willing, trust me, the lack of response doesn't hurt nearly as much as getting rejected from agents :)

Here's to research and here's to sponsorship!

Best Birthday Eve, Ever

I am very excited :)

Today, after a very intense meeting up north, I came home to have another intense conversation about the direction(s) my life could head and how much I've grown in the last year or two. I checked my e-mail, which is rare to do since I work on a computer for eight hours a day, and usually just want to be away from technology....but I opened my e-mail to find more rejections and then...

Thanks so much for submitting. (Great, another rejection). Your query intrigues me, (Okay, but it's still not my thing, blah blah blah, rip off the band-aid already) so I’d love to take a look at your full manuscript (Wait...what???). I re-read this line a couple times while saying out loud on my sister's bed, "Oh my God, Oh my God...."

Please send it via Microsoft Word attachment at your earliest convenience. (And then I start screaming)

I look forward to hearing from you. (And screaming more. Followed rapidly by jumping up and down, clobbering my dog and telling him I love him, and choking on my lean pocket dinner, and screaming and trying to find a place where my cell phone gets signal).

From this point, I ran in figure eights in my road, and called most everyone in my phone, while jumping and becoming aware that while I box every other day, I am still vastly out of shape....only one or two people actually answered, but that's okay. 

This has been the best birthday eve, EVER. 

Reality check real fast:

I am super excited. Beyond words flattered and excited. At the same time I've been watching agent's statistics and am well aware that while this is a step in the right direction, there is a HUGE chance I will still be rejected. Nonetheless, I am SOOOOOO happy tonight. Reality can sink in Wednesday. I think I'll enjoy my birthday tomorrow :)

"Just Because You Are A Writing Maniac"

My good friend Tammy Henry wrote me a very nice e-mail the other day, that completely made me smile. She's given me permission to post it here:

Steph,
I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!
This e-mail made me smile and I even made Lora and Aimee listen to it while I read it a loud for them because it made me so happy! I am so glad to hear that you finished the edits and that you are happy with the finished product! :) I will now be reading it again, when it is printed, bound, and in book content when I see it on the bookshelves at the local bookstore, which when I purchase it I will say to the local bookstore worker, "and THAT author......to this VERY BOOK I AM HOLDING..... just so happens to be my sister.......just sayin......she is bad ass!" I cannot WAIT for that day!
Good luck with all the submissions and good luck with all those future readers who will be reading it.....I am sure they will all love it as much as I do!
I know there is someone out there who will be proud to publish all 220 PAGES 72,624 FUCKING WORDS OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU RULE MAN!
I LOVE YOU STEPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tammy Tam