The Proper Technique for Hugging

I judge people by the way they hug others...especially by the way they hug me.

This is a good and acceptable hug from my friend D.J.

While this may seem strange to you, have you ever really paid attention to the away people touch you, or you allow them to touch you, when embracing? Ever since high school, I've paid a lot of attention. This past Saturday, I was at the mountain, getting reacquainted with people I haven't seen in six months, and giving lots of hugs. Many, sadly, were sub par.

The No Hug
That moment where someone opens their arms to you, and you step away? Those are the worst hugs. Not only because it's awkward to step away, but usually because there's a reason. For those of you who don't know me, or haven't betaed my memoir, my relationship with my mother is difficult, to say the least.
During one of my trips home for college, she met me at the airport, and went to hug me. I stepped back and said, "Since when did we become a hugging family?"
It's never left me.
Out of all of the hugs you can give someone, the no hug is the worst.

Matty and me
This was the only picture I could
find that'sclose to a one armed hug

The One Armed Hug
You know when you haven't seen someone in a long while, and you can kind of remember them, but kind of not? That's what this hug is like. You wrap one arm around a person, while the other hangs limp at your side. You don't really touch each other when you embrace it's kind of a, "Hey, nice to see you," and flee.
I hate these hugs. They're so impersonal, I wonder why giving them at all?
Though, I do use them as a sort of vengeance. If I don't like you, if I don't trust you, or if you're only giving me a one armed hug, you better believe you only get one arm in return!

Attack huggin my friend Jen

The Attack Hug
They never see it coming. Most times, you're able to catch them off balance, then you topple over into a pile of snow. It's fun, it can be frisky, and if the person has good response time, they hug back, or try to.
Plus, they make for super fun pictures.
Then, as with any attack, you're free to scamper about your business.


The Bro Bump
That weird greeting where two guys see each other, link hands, then bump chests? Yea, that's a bro bump. I love these, but because I'm a girl I rarely get them. Brent, an instructor at the mountain last season, used to bro bump me all the time (after I kind of complained about not getting bro bumps because I'm a girl). It was the highlight of my day. Some thought it was weird.
The bro bump is highly underrated.
Can we make it cross genders, please?

Laura and me at my 23 birthday

The Side Hug
For some reason, you just can't meet face on. You may have tried to give a nice hug, but somehow, I end up hugging your hip. It's awkward, it's probably mildly painful, hopefully it's fast, but if you hug with two arms, I won't hold a vendetta.
But next time, I'll try to angle myself a little better.

Partner in Cime and his gf, Sarah

The 'I'm So In Love With You' Hug
 I'm not going to lie, this is the best hug known to man. It's where both sets of arms wrap around each other, there's usually some eye closing involved, and you fit together perfectly. You fully feel pulled into this person, and for a second, you don't want to let go.
It's a beautiful, beautiful moment where both people know they're safe, and neither pulls away too early.

These hugs are wonderful and reassuring.

The General Two Armed Hug
This by far is the best hug. It usually lasts about three seconds (I'm getting scientific here). It's where both parties wrap both arms around each other, there's some full body contact, and then you smile, separate, and say, "Hi" or "Bye" or "I've missed you" or "Let's get pizza."
It's appropriate for all occasions, and the best part? It makes you feel loved?
It can turn into the I'm So In Love With You Hug, or you can leave it at a two armed hug. Bottom line, if you're not hugging me with two arms, I will complain about your hugging abilities henceforth.

The Multiple People Hug
There's nothing wrong with some group action going on. It's not as exclusive as a two-person hug, but it can still be awesome.

My niece, Mackenzie, and nephew, Caleb

There are a million other hugs to offer, depression hugs, stability hugs, I'm so glad you're alive hugs, but for a general tutorial on hugs, I feel like this suffices.

If you've never considered your hugs, I hope you do now.