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| Me. The day I helped Planned Parenthood collect signatures for a Patient Safety Zone |
Never place your goals in people. People can let you down. Set your goals so that you can accomplish them.
It's kind of stuck with me. That was the defining moment where I realized that I could be happy being alone. I could be happy never getting married, and becoming that crazy cat and dog lady who reeks of urine.
The other night I was taken to a friend's house. Because I'd had a few beers, my (somewhat) social filter had completely disappeared. I asked questions normal sane people don't ask. (Have you had an abortion? Oh, you have a kid? Why did you decide to have the kid? How old are you now? How old is the kiddo? etc) The primary one was, "What do you want to do with your life?"
Three people eluded to, "I want to find the one." I said okay, cool, but what else? And they stalled.
I'm bitter with the Disney mentality where your Prince will come, rescue you, and save the day. It's up to you to save yourself. Save the kingdom. Save or change the world. You do that. Not your prince.
So, what happens after you find the one? Do you just...snuggle? All the time?
No. People who don't establish themselves in the world don't make healthy relationships. You need to have YOU time, and your significant other needs to have SO time. You need to come together, share a life, be partners. But also be independent.
So, I'll ask this question again:
What do YOU want to do with your life?
Ok, so the smell of urine part made me say ewwwww. In today's world people don't have to get married to be happy, I would agree. However, they need to be able to support themselves, so what they do for a living is key. In yesterday's world men went to work, women did everything else...cooking, cleaning, shopping, balancing the family budget, ironing, having babies, taking kids to school, etc etc. etc. Then those lines got a bit blurred and now, beyond blurred people seem lost. If you love someone, everything you do is better. I think the modern marriage frankly has lost a bit with too much me time, separate activities, separate vacations, girl time, boy time and pretty soon there's not couple time....no wonder people get divorced. Next month hubby and I'll be celebrating our 41st anniversary. Neither of us would prefer girl or boy time vs our time together. We do also enjoy our private time and have some things we don't enjoy doing together. The trick is balance. What do I want to do with my life, I want to be happy, be a good person, and leave the world a bit better for my being here.
ReplyDeleteI definitely think that loving someone can make a world of a difference, even if it's a dog or a significant other. Balance IS key, I couldn't agree more.
DeleteAnd you have a fantastic answer for what you want to do with your life :)