The Truth About Being A Role Model

I did a presentation to a bunch of adults a few weeks ago. During the presentation, I talked about being a good role model and setting a good example when you're around teens and younger folks. But what exactly does that mean?

You can even crawl through doggie doors

Being a role model doesn't mean you have to be perfect. It doesn't mean you can't be weird and over caffeinated. You don't even have to shower every day. You can mess up. A lot. You could have been a neo-nazi white supremacist a year ago, and be a role model now. (True story, one of my role models that I met in high school was a reformed neo-nazi.)

But the difference between you being a role model and you being some holier-than-thou type of person, is recognizing that you make mistakes, you've made mistakes. Own them. Be honest about them.

A perfect example of this is on the mountain. When we're in uniform, it's some sort of stigma that we don't fall, when in reality, we fall frequently. Why? Because we try new things, new jumps, new tricks, whatever. Sometimes we just fall because we weren't paying attention and dig our edges in. It's okay, we're human, too.

Being a role model is like that. Dig your toe edge in. Stumble. Fall. Fall a lot. Get a bloody nose. You can break your back (one instructor already has this season), you can get seriously hurt. It's okay.

But get up, teach people about those times. If someone is in the middle of crashing, they can see a path to stable land again.

Why You Should Go See Breaking Dawn 2

It's a love story for the generations. Girl meets boy. Girl falls in love with boy. He's a vampire, and gets her pregnant but only after marrying her. Wait, what?

Twilight

Yep, so that's a lot of the premise for the Twilight movies. There's some blood sucking, some potential murder, and sparkly vampires. Admit it, we've all made fun of it at least once. But here's the truth; Stephenie Meyers made a crap ton of money. However, before all of that, she was a lowly writer, probably doubting that she'd ever make it.

Most of us are in that place. So before you boycott seeing Breaking Dawn 2, think of the writing community. Go out and support it, because someday, it may be your movie, and wouldn't you like it if we went out to see it, too?

School Bullying

On Wednesday November 7, 2012, I was invited to Ms. Varner's ASP class. I prepared for about two weeks, doing minor interviews with friends, doing research on my own life, and assembling a power point presentation. (Somehow, without being in college anymore, I forgot how much I love power point!)

Ms. Varner in her classroom

While the groundwork for the presentation had been laid, I still wasn't exactly sure what I was going to say to the class, how to really offer them that, Wow, this may have been life changing, moment. Finally, when my time came, I stood in front of the class and said, "My name is Lynne. Was anyone here for my last presentation?" A few hands shot into the air, and I smiled. I was suddenly among friends. "Well, that one focused a bit more on my home life. Today, I'm here to do a presentation on bullying."

Osteo-Biflex, Eeyore, and a chapter
from my memoir. The things
that helped me present :)

I talked a little bit about who I am now; how I take Osteo-Biflex, and how since I was like 13 years old, I've had my Eeyore in my bed, or at least in my room, every night.

From there, I told stories, about boys who'd been bullied and turned into bullies. I talked about my sister being called Buckie-the-beaver before she got braces.

I discussed with the girls what they consider bullying, whether or not they think it differs from the way males do it verses females. One girl raised her hand, and told the class about getting calls on the weekends from girls saying, "We're having so much fun at this sleepover, why aren't you here? Oh, that's right, because we didn't invite you!" She finished with, "I don't understand why they were so mean, I never did anything to them." Most of the class agreed that girls are more calculated when they bully, that they truly intend to hurt people, where-as they feel boys are more physical (shoving, pushing, tripping).

Then, I talked about who I was at their age. How my house was disgusting, how my mother was never home. I asked them if they would have been friends with me, because while I looked clean that day, I was probably a mess at their age.

Closer to the end, I read an except from my memoir, A Walk to the Ocean which had to be slightly censored and more PG appropriate (I will cover my feelings on censorship hopefully Wednesday). The segment was about being bullied in college by my roommates and co-workers, to the point I tried to kill myself. The line I finished on said, "When I got home, my roommates continued to ridicule me that night, and for the remainder of the summer," then I paused to allow them to digest what I'd read. "When you say mean and hurtful things to people, you never know what's going on in their home lives. Take a look around the room," (I had them sitting in a half arc so they could see me and each other), "you don't know what's going on, whether or not people are getting along with their parents, fighting with their siblings. You don't know if they're being hurt at home, or even if their parents are home. I grew up in a flea infested house, where maggots were growing in the back room, and my mother wasn't ever home." I paused again as the girls looked around at each other. Some heads bowed, some faces turned red. "I came to school because it was clean, because it was safe. You don't know what will push someone over the edge."

From there, I wrapped the presentation up, challenging the girls. I told them that this is middle school. I know they're not going to get along with everyone, or even like everyone. But, maybe, they can just say hi to someone they usually wouldn't. Maybe if they see someone sitting alone during lunch, they can sit with them.

After that, I went to go see my manager from UNE, and we chatted politics, and results from the election. When I returned to Claire's she had dinner waiting:

This looks like something out of a restaurant ad, no?

I was still smiling from the presentation. She asked for some follow up questions, and told me some that she would ask the following week.

A day or so later, I got a Facebook message from one of the girls in class. We've had a few exchanges since, but she was one of the girls who attended my last presentation. She thanked me for coming in, and also said, "My response to a question you asked is: I can honestly say I would be friends with you if we were the same age."

And for a time, I'm reminded, that this is what it's all about.

Happy Monday.

Influencing The Youth

"Whenever You Knock Me Down, I Will Not Stay On The Ground"
~Justin Bieber (Yea, that's right, totally quoted him)

The Middle School

I was invited to a middle school yesterday to speak on the trials I've been through in my life, and it went in directions I was completely unprepared for. My friend, Claire invited me weeks ago, and two nights ago I finally had some time to more fully prepare for what I was going to say. Claire asked me point blank, "What's the number one thing you hope they remember after you see them?" I responded, "That they can survive anything."

So, I sat there thinking, what are things that keep me going? And I went to work; I removed some pictures from my Board of Inspiration, and added some things I've been meaning to add for awhile. I laid out my clothes the night before (jeans and a TWLOHA shirt after some people gave me suggestions on Twitter), packed my bag full of books I've been published in, and other things that inspire me (like my James Frey book), and went to sleep, giddy, excited, and partially terrified.

In the morning, I woke up, showered (amazingly), attempted to straighten my hair which was immediately destroyed once I walked out in the humidity, loaded up Baxter and drove an hour to Fryeburg. I called both of my sisters on the drive, and they both pushed me, told me that I'd be great, that my (our) message is something worthwhile.

I parked my car, arrived a little early, and looked at the school. It was huge, I didn't know anyone but Claire there. Then Patrick called me from Germany to wish me luck, and tell me I'd do great. The lyric from Vanessa Carlton starting going through my head, "I try to live up to the moment, and hope that I don't blow it," and headed into the school.

Board of Inspiration (It's much more
complete after the presentation)

I found the office, and checked in. There were kids talking about getting sent home for, "smoking dope, but I didn't do it," and for a brief second, I thought maybe, just maybe I am meant to be here. I talked to those kids about my eyebrow rings, my lip ring, and then went up to Claire's room.

We ate lunch (which is awesome, she's such a good cook!), and I wrote a phrase on the white board that I'd heard my entire life growing up, "You'll never amount to anything."

The kids started filtering in, buzzing with excitement which was infectious and terrifying. I was shaking from the moment I'd walked into the school, and now there were several girls sitting in front of me, hoping I'd say something worth while. Suddenly all those moments of overcoming anxiety, and volunteering to read Bingo cards, and practicing were coming into play. This was real life, I was about to talk to real people, who were here to listen to...me.

Claire introduced me as Lynne though she knows me as Stephanie, and I started talking, about my dad, the drunken night he'd lost custody. I talked about what my sisters and I have accomplished. I told them about cutting, my eating disorder, depression, my mother. I read them three pages from Character Defects, that I wrote based on a fight with my mother, and why I wrote it.

And then I told them about having hope, and being positive. I told them about my Board of Inspiration, to set goals, to give themselves something to look forward to. As I spoke, I tried to watch the audience, and there were girls tearing up or silently crying as I talked about what my parents did to me. When it was over, I was asked to go into the hall and speak with some girls in small groups.

Me and Claire (respectively)
Doin' our thing, trying to give
hope

I heard things in those groups that made me want to excuse myself and cry in the bathroom, with them, for them. People talk about censorship a lot in novels because they're afraid of what it'll do to the children. These young women in front of me went and are going through more than I, or you, can possibly imagine. I wanted to find their parents and violently shake them in the hopes that it'd knock some sense into them. I just can't understand how these girls could possibly be unloved, abused, or hurt. All I wanted to do was hug them, tell them that it'll be okay, and that I'm so, so sorry.

They were all so amazing, so honest, and so afraid of what they're going through. All I could do was tell them that it'll get better, that they can get through anything because by breathing, by being at school today, they're proving it.

When it was all said and done, they gave me hugs, thanked me, and asked to take pictures of me like I was someone or something worthwhile. One of the girls even wrote me a letter thanking me for helping her, and I started tearing up (it will end up on my Board soon).

I didn't do much, I just told them about me, and listened to them.

Some time later, I was at Claire's and checked my e-mail and there were already e-mails from some of the girls I didn't get to speak with, and their stories reaffirmed that I'm doing something right by sharing my life with them. I spent close to an hour composing a response to one, and then an hour chatting with one today who is an aspiring author.

The bottom line, is that some people ban books and censor things because they think it's terrible language, or too intense for their young minds to understand. The truth I witnessed yesterday was that these terrible intense things are daily life for a lot of our youth. It needs to change. Their voices need to be heard and understood.

To end this on a bit of a happy note; Claire sent me home some brownies and a lot of food. So I ate brownies for breakfast this morning, yay!

Also, we're planning do to a follow up with the girls soon, any suggestions what I should come back with?

Book Review: Where She Went

Where She Went by Gayle Forman

This was another novel I received during my lonely Christmas of 2011. This one took two-three days to read, simply because I didn't have an entire day to spend in bed, and I had to be a big kid and go to work. (Yack)

Where She Went is written from Adam's perspective, which I thought was super cool, and would be a challenging thing to do as a writer. (Though if you guys ever get bored, it's always a fun writing exercise!) Forman pulled it off, phenomenally.

How Kellie's death connected me to If I Stay, my relationship with Alex connected me to this novel.

One of the things that I loved, and kept me reading was when Adam first sees her, he talks about how he doesn't want to kiss her, or scream at her. He just wants to touch her. (I don't have my book on me, so I couldn't find the exact wording, sorry!) The intensity of those thoughts and feelings were reminiscent of The Last Summer (of You and Me)** by Ann Brashares. It's those tragic loves, that want to run into their arms, but something (time, distance, anger) keeps your feet in place, that I'm drawn to.

One of my first times going home after leaving for college, a friend was getting married. This friend was Alex's best friend, so of course, he was the best man. I wore a nice dress, and sat with my sister and her friends...all of whom hated Alex.

When I saw him, my heart jarred, my palms started sweating. I watched him the entire wedding, during the reception. All I wanted was for him to come to me, say hello, ask me to dance (because he had been my date to almost every single high school dance). But he didn't, and so by the end of the night, I got sick of waiting. I grabbed my jacket, with every intention of storming off, when I stepped on someone's foot. Whose else would it be, except, of course, Alex's?

He leaned so close to me, I could feel his breath when he said, "I know you won't believe this, but it is really good to see you."
And I died inside. I wanted to claw out his eyes, punch him, kiss him, run into his arms, touch his face. Instead, I stood uncomfortably, unmoving, shaking. When I didn't run away from him, he kept talking. The more he spoke, the less I wanted to hurt him, and the more i wanted to just be there, with him. When he told me he'd gotten me maple sugar candy, I almost cried. We'd always gone to the Maple Syrup Festival every year.

The following day, I went to his place and it was one of the last times I saw him. But it was enough to keep me in motion for a long, long time. It's sad because we're not even friends on facebook, and we don't keep in contact, but he got me through high school alive, and mostly unscathed.

Where She Went pushed me over the edge, and I most definitely cried. I cried for Adam, for my high school and young college self. I cried for distance, and lost loves. And Baxter stared at me like I was crazy, until I explained to him why I was crying and to not judge me :)

This is another must read and re-read. But, for full impact, I would encourage reading If I Stay first.

**Awesome book. You need to read that one, too.

Book Review: If I Stay

If I Stay by Gayle Forman.

Christmas this year was spent working at the mountain, being sick, and then coming home and passing out for the night. It was lonely, and awful. It was my first time ever being completely alone for the holiday (well, not completely, Baxter laid in bed with me). But there was good news. Days before, my mom had finally done it.

She'd gotten me the books I wanted. I about peed my pants when I opened the priority mail package. I don't even remember which book I saw first, but I remember shaking because I was so excited. (That's right, at the age of 23, you can still get that excited about Christmas presents.)

Finally, after a  few months of editing and writing, I found some time for reading. I had the day off (which was rare with juggling two jobs), and decided I just wanted to lay in bed all day, and do nothing. My resolution was to dig out my books and use Baxter as a pillow.

While I'd wanted If I Stay since I'd heard about it, I'd been avoiding reading it because I knew it would break me.

And I was correct.

It was about Mia and her family, who had gotten in a car accident. Car accidents are always a sore spot with me because my best friend was killed in a car accident. In the novel, Mia ends up having to make the decision then, of staying alive, or allowing herself to die.

I read this book in one day. Literally. I haven't done that since high school. I pushed myself to keep going, not just because it was phenomenally written, not just because the story told me to keep reading, but because I didn't want to be depressed the next day, too. It was an incredibly powerful story, and it definitely made me tear up. This is one of those that I will read again and again.

If you haven't read this novel yet, and you've been thinking about it, stop putting it off, and read it! Now. (Please?)

Writing Books IV

Welcome to round four of the Writing Books Series. What does this mean? Basically that each Thursday (ideally, sometimes real life gets in the way) I'm going to post a book I've found helpful in my writing career, tell you why I found it helpful, and try to tell you a price range. I'll try to keep this up until I run out of books, or lose motivation, whichever comes first :)

Book Four is:

Writing Great Books For Young Adults.

I got this book last year after AWP. I actually ended up going two hours out of my way (in the completely wrong direction) to the Barnes and Noble (I had a gift card), and yea...long story short, this book said, "Buy me! Buy me!" So I did.

To be completely honest, I haven't fully gotten through it, but it's set up so that it's easy to sift through and take what you want out of it. One of the huge things that I think was a stellar prompt was, 'What made your high school experience different from others?' 

I thought back to my high school experience; I'd just changed schools, I was dating a boy in college (even when I was a freshmen), my best friend died, my sister's best friend died, the boy who showed me around school died, the boy who loaned me his pants died, my mom moved us into a trailer park, I went crazy and moved in with my sisters, I had to get surgery on my knee, I didn't drink, I was a rebel...(High school was NOT a good time for me, lol)

Bottom line, I was different in a million ways. 

I remember feeling like an outsider, and having one friend who had my back throughout 90% of it.

And then I started writing, and what emerged was Character Defects. Now, every time I start to write something I think, "How is my character different," all because of this one prompt. Oh, and the best part? The author is an agent. She was at PNWA this year (though, sadly, I wasn't able to meet her).

The cost ranges $5-$15, but it is very, very worth the money.

Writing Books III

Welcome to round three of the Writing Books Series. What does this mean? Basically that each Thursday (ideally, sometimes real life gets in the way) I'm going to post a book I've found helpful in my writing career, tell you why I found it helpful, and try to tell you a price range. I'll try to keep this up until I run out of books, or lose motivation, whichever comes first :)

So, Book Three is:

Journalution.

My sister got me this book about a year ago. Granted, I haven't fully gotten through it, but the parts I've gotten through have rocked my world. This is for those of you who keep a journal. It revolutionizes the way you think, how you approach it. It tells you to always keep your journal with you (though I haven't....oops). It revamped the way I time-keep, so each entry I say; day, start time, end time, where I'm at/who I'm with, etc. Because of this, I've actually gotten some story ideas, and also had some lovely journal entries to go back to, rather than just rambling about why I'm pissed off that day.

Price is $5-$15, look around though. I'm not sure where all you can get it at (like I said, my sister got it for me :) ). 

Writing Books II

Welcome to round two of the Writing Books Series. What does this mean? Basically that each Thursday (ideally, sometimes real life gets in the way) I'm going to post a book I've found helpful in my writing career, tell you why I found it helpful, and try to tell you a price range. I'll try to keep this up until I run out of books, or lose motivation, whichever comes first :)

So, Book Two is:

  The Writer's Block.

This small book is filled with stuff like word prompts, story prompts, pictures, and random advice. In mine, I'll use a page, and date what day I used it. (Some pages have more dates than others). I like to go through, open to any page, and use that prompt/word/image and try to go from there. When your idea pen is running dry, this is a nice boost.
Price ranges from $5-$10, but usually not much more (or less) than that. It has helped me shell out a lot of short stories, I would recommend it for those of us whose muses like to run away.

Writing Books I

I'm going to start a segment on writing books that I've found very helpful in my career. Ideally, I'll post a book each Thursday (until I run out of books I own....which may happen sooner rather than later), but...forgive me if life gets in the way....which it tends to do:

So Book One for this series is:

The Market.

This book comes in many editions. Children's Market, Poet's Market, Novel and Short Story Market...etc. You'll see I have the 2009 and 2011 editions. The cool thing is, one is usually published each year, which means it can continually be a Christmas present.

The Market has writing conferences, contests, and pretty much everything a writer could ever need. It also usually comes with a membership to the Writer's Market.

This is something I look forward to every year. It's usually about $15-$30 depending on where you purchase it from. Definitely something worth investing in, at least once.

Length

If you're writing Young Adult novels...there are usually some guidelines to follow. Mainly the length guideline.

Most YA novels fall (from what I've read) between 60,000 words and 100,000 words. The good news is, if you're a little over, or a little under that's usually okay. But try to aim for those guidelines. I've heard that 40,000 is usually too short, and over 100,000 is usually way too long...but we're writers.

There are always exceptions to the rules.

Usually when I start writing, 60,000 is my end goal. Sometimes, I fall a little short of that, but that's okay...rough drafts (for me) are usually significantly shorter then the ending product. But it's nice to hit 30,000 words and say "I'm half way done! Wooo!"

So, as of today, I've finished My Sister's Memories (woo! Huray, my NaNoWriMo project is finished!), however, I'm at 54,338 words, approximately 200 pages. Which even to me, feels a little short. (There is one more scene I technically need to write in, but I'm really tired right now, and I can feel my creative juices dwindling). The good news is, a round of editing will probably give me about another 10,000 words.

Just wanted to pop in and tell you guys I finished, and throw some length guidelines out there for those of you who weren't aware of them.

Have an awesome night!

YA Highway; Plotter or Pantser?

So, YA Highway blogged about being a plotter or a pantser. Don't know what that is? Neither did I. I think they put it best by saying that a Pantser is someone flying by the seam of their pants; you're not really sure which direction you're going and you let your characters kinda talk through. A Plotter is someone who goes through and is very meticullous and says "Yes, this is what will happen". Plotters have plans, (I also feel they're the type of person who like, makes a bulleted list and follows that for their story line).

Then, YAH asked the question, What are you?

Me? I'm a bit of a hybrid, but if I had to narrow it down to one, I think I'm more of a Pantser. Something will happen in my day and I'll hear my character's voice and start flying from there. The more he/she talks, the more I'll listen and try to understand why they're talking like that. Usually at some point during the madness, I'll know the ending, write it very, very roughly, and then connect the points.

The more planned portions of me will go through and make an arrow diagram just so I can keep the ball rolling (which is why I said I'm a bit of a hybrid). This will usually happen as I'm finishing up the story.

So...yep. That's my answer. What about you? :)

In Responce To The Wall Street Journal Article

For those of you who haven't heard, the WSJ has written an awful article about YA and how it's just so horrible now. How it's all dark and curses and it's just not good for teens today. They claim that years ago things were different (I take it they never read Cynthia Voigt's Izzy, Willy, Nilly or Fat Chance by Leslea Newman, or any of the other various novels....)

But here's the truth, if you're ready for it. Are you ready? Okay....here is it:
High school can be a very, very dark place for some of us. 
Some of us don't even make it out alive.

When I was a freshmen, the very, very hot boy who sat near me in my seminar class was killed in a drinking and driving accident. His name was Fred Horak, and I barely knew him...just the sadness that surrounded his death (oh, and a year or so prior, his sister died of meningitis.)
As the year went on, my sister's best friend, Kara died from cancer. Less than 4 months later, my best friend, Kellie, died in a car accident (non-alcohol related). After Kellie died, I fell apart and nothing was the same. I couldn't deal with life, I barely moved or got out of bed....things just stopped. Then the girl who sat next to me in my creative writing class tried to kill herself because of a boy and other issues....It was like a slap in the face. When she came back to school, we showed our scars to each other and I tried to tell her that there was something to hold onto, but I wasn't even sure if I was telling the truth...

Add in the fact I lived with my crazy mother and her alcoholic and mentally abusive boyfriend...and things were not so happy in my world.
Soon enough the boy who made my world start revolving again cheated on me. (I found out the day before Valentine's Day). Then shortly after I tore my ACL snowboarding and had to get surgery and was told I may never run again. My high school cross country coach treated me unfairly to the point my sister cursed him out at a meet, in front of the entire team (and parents). I had to meet with the principal, the super, and various other higher up figures in the school system.
And then when I was 16-17, I moved out of my mother's into my sister's and the boy's because if not, if I had stayed I would have killed myself.
But this is my own, personal story and even still, I'm leaving out a lot.

And I survived.

How?
Because I spent a majority of my time writing Confessions of an Immortal Heart, because I read books that kept me sane. Because I watched Soap Operas and stood up for myself and refused to be treated shittily ever again.

So here's to you, Wall Street Journal. For those of you who think that growing up is easy, or full of puppies and kittens and happy little rainbows, or whatever else kind of lies that you're looking for in our novels, it's not. If anyone tells you that it is, it's complete bullshit. Not all of us survive, and those of us who do are left with scars that will always be apparent, that will make future relationships difficult, staying alive even harder. And we write about these experiences with our characters because while, yea, they may be dark, they do happen in real life.

High school sucked for me, and I'm sure beyond any doubt that I am not the only one. So I write truth, and about friends who die, and mental health issues, and how deeply words can truly cut people because that is and that was real to me at the time.

YA Saves.

Romance And YA

Last night on Twitter, there was the #yalitchat feed that went through and primarily discussed YA Romance and where its placement should be. People were asking questions like:

"If my main character is 14, is it weird if she's dating an 18 year old?"


"Do writers have an obligation to write healthy relationships verses crazy stalkerish, I'd die for you?" 

The questions and topics went round and round, but most stayed on, "What do you want out of YA romance?"

The question that really drew me into the topic was "What is the difference between YA romance and Adult?"

I answered the question saying that the biggest difference between teen love and adult love is the way we fall, or how willing we are to fall. I remember when I was 14-18 just falling all over myself for a boy. He could do no wrong. Even when my sisters told me he'd cheated on me, I refused to believe it (after all, how could he surpass me sexually if we'd never even gone that far?). Then the day before Valentine's Day, I found out the truth, and made him verbally tell me. I needed to hear it from him because he was the only person I would be willing to believe. (Stupid, right?)


Even after his admittance, we stayed together for another 2-3 years. It was hard and I was frequently angry and would pick fights, but I still loved him and believed that love could fix all things. I was so willing for some magic to happen the way it does for Disney, or in books....but real life is a little bit harder to deal with. Especially when you have outside pressures telling you how bad of a person he is, that you can never trust him...It wears on you, even if you try to fight it.


I graduated high school, and he was there taking pictures and giving me hugs and telling me he was proud of me. When I decided to attend a college 1,000 miles away, he was the one to pack me up and drive me out to Maine. At the time, I wasn't speaking to my sister, and he was the one to convince me to do so because "You don't know the next time you'll get to see her..."


He remained in Michigan and joined a fraternity, and pretty much cut off contact. Because I still had enormous trust issues with him, and let's face it, I'm needy and like attention, I couldn't deal with the distance. We officially ended between my freshmen and sophomore year of college (and strangely both graduated May of 2010. Keep in mind, he was a freshmen in college when I was a freshmen in high school). The final ending was really, really hard on me. 


The reason why I'm telling you all of this, is to kind of show how willing I was to just let love overrun my life. For a long time I considered staying in Michigan to be with him, and we talked about him moving out to Maine with me. I skipped classes to hang out with him, I brought him to school dances. For those years, he was my entire world. And at the time I was okay with that...


When the decision came, I realized that if I remained in Michigan (which would have been solely to stay with him), I wouldn't amount to anything. And so I took the risk and grew up (as all good protagonists do), and moved because in the end I realized that it was what was best for me. 


Here I am x-amount of years later without him, still stumbling around, much more hesitant to believe guys or trust them. But I'm making my way and growing on my own.


In the end, while relationship romance rocks in books, I really think the best love story, is the one where you learn to love yourself. (Which I am learning daily.)