Open Mic Blog Hop!

First and foremost, I'd like to thank Cassie Mae for all of her assistance in the assembly of this blog hop. Without her help and guidance, I would have been completely lost. (Thanks, Cassie!)

If you've been following my blog, you know I'm a wicked anxious person. But as writers we'll all face that moment when we approach the stage, and GASP! read our work out loud. Or, we'll go on a book tour, and be like Eminem and be all, "He's nervous, but on the surface, he looks calm and ready," and address a ton of strangers to impart some wisdom on everyone.

At AWP, they talked about going to coffee shops, and open mic nights and getting our names out there, so...

...Consider this blog hop, a practice run:

Omg, Open Mic Blog Hop!
Yes! Thanks, Baxter, for suggesting it! :)

I've chosen April 19, 2012 because well, it's my birthday and it gives me something to look forward to, and it's not even April 1st yet, so you guys have time to get your game faces on.

What We're Doing:

*Pick a piece. It could be the first chapter of your novel, a short story you really like, a few poems. BUT it has to be yours. 

*Find a camera that takes video

*Video yourself reading your work out loud, to us, your captive audience

Tips:

--I'm personally going to aim for like two-three minutes. Maybe less, because like I said, I'm anxious.  

--If you'd like, you may also post the writing to your blog, so that we can read along with you as you read to us 

--Remember, look up. We'll actually get to see you now!

--If you're nervous, it's okay. I'll be freaking out, too!

--If you'd like, you may edit your video, but umm....my computer is old school, I won't be able to, so you'll get to see me turn my camera on, read, and turn it off. Bax may make a guest appearance since he usually is where I am

--Have fun with it!

For the record, you can upload videos directly to blogger, or if you prefer and have a YouTube channel, you can do it that way. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask! Also, please sign up on the linky at the bottom, and steal the Blog Hop thumbnail thinger for your blog, too!


One More Thing:
If we're able to reach 75 participants, two people (chosen at random, probably by Baxter) will get a five page (written, not read out loud :) ) critique from me. If they'd like, anyway. :)

To Write Love On Her Arms

I bring TWLOHA up a lot on this blog. During October, when I was going crazy, Patrick bought me my first TWLOHA shirt, with a small note that said something like, "Keep fighting." That was it. And it was enough.

I haven't worn this shirt since that time.
But I'm breaking it out today :)

I wore that shirt for days (and nights) on end for a couple of reasons: 1) Because it was black, and that was all I was wearing for about a month 2) Because Patrick had gotten it for me. Weeks before I'd been laying with him and asked point blank, "What would you do if I killed myself?" This was before I'd taken the test, before I fully knew the truth, but I'd had my suspicions. His response? "It's something I would never forgive you for." This shirt, this timing, reminded me of that, it gave me strength to wake up in the morning...even if I wasn't moving, yet. 3) It was a TWLOHA shirt. If you don't know what it is, click the link in the first sentence. They're an amazing organization that reminds people that they aren't alone, that there's hope. We all have our battles, we also have supportive people, strangers, pets, that can help us get through those battles when we're not strong enough to get through them on our own.

Today is March 30. This marks the 6 year anniversary for To Write Love On Her Arms. In that small time frame, they've saved lives, connected lives.

Never forget that YOU (whoever you are reading this), you are important, and you are beautiful. Don't be afraid of the darkness within you, we all have it, too. It's what makes us human, it's what reminds us to be strong for others.

#WearTWLOHA

Encouragement

So, my living situation kind of um...sucks. There's a 62 year old man who has decided to pick fights with me on a daily basis. He's also been having his mother spending several nights here, and so she, too, is picking fights with me. One night, after I decided to take it upon myself to remind her that -I- pay rent here, she does not, she decided to call me crazy. It's kind of been bringing me down a lot recently, and making me more angry than I'd like to be.

This then, led to me venting on twitter. One such day, I stated:

Roommates have decided to play crappy country music too loud. I want to write a sign that says: Quiet Please, Memoir Writing in Progress

A few days later, one of my Twitter followers, also a girl I work with, Amanda, did this:

The sign says, "Quiet Please, Memoir writing in progress!"
It made my day, and even made going home that night much more bearable.

Then, yesterday, a good friend from college, Claire, came to the house, made me dinner, and we stayed in the dining room and chatted for a few hours. She kept laughing at my living situation, my evil roommates, the evil mother. There was nothing we could really do, but laugh.

And then she put down a box, a writing care package that looks like this:

She wrote amazing messages to me, things from her life that I wouldn't have known otherwise. And the best part? Most of it consisted of food! (The rest was drinks, so that's rad, too!)

So, why are these things popping up on my blog? Aside from the fact that they're just awesome?

Because I feel that other writers need to surround themselves with positive encouragement. Try to have people in your life who bring you up, even if all they do is tell you that your writing rocks. Sometimes, we just need a bit of a lift, maybe in the form of notes and food, or a sign that simply says, "Quiet, Please. Writing In Progress".

Check It Out! My First Guest Blog Post

Located HERE at Marilyn Almadovar's blog. The topic, writing a specific genre; YA

:)

Obessions and a Book Review

My older sister, Laura, is obsessed with World War II. Specifically, of the Holocaust. She owns many books and documentaries on the subject, and when I'm in doubt of what to get her, I just find something about the Nazi's and she loves it.

I, on the other hand, fell into something equally as heart breaking. The shootings at Columbine. Maybe it was because they occured on April 20th, the day after my birthday. Maybe it was because of the way my heart ached when I saw the news coverage. I couldn't and still can't wrap my head around what happened that day, and I don't think anything else has traumatized me the same way.

Honestly, I'm not sure why I became obsessed with the massacre. I just am. One of my life goals is to go to the memorial, feel the deep sadness that resides there. See if I can make it without crying, the way I had when I visited Ground Zero.

Because of this obsession, I'm drawn to books about school shootings. (That sounds awful, sorry.) First, I read She Said Yes, about Cassie Burnall, who said yes when asked if she believed in God. I cried for a long, long time after.

Next, I read Jodi Picoult's Nineteen Minutes in less than two days (I think).

When I'd heard of Hate List, it immediately went on my Christmas list. Thank you Amazon for recommending me this book. And thank you, Mom, for buying it for me.

I read this one over the Winter, and I was not disappointed. Firstly, the cover says a lot. Clearly, there is something between the boy and the girl. As I read, I imagined these two, and this boy, who from the cover looks so freaking cute you just can't imagine him shooting everyone...

There were parts where I argued with the author, and the intro took me awhile to get into, but over all, this novel broke my heart.

It's about the girlfriend of the boy who brought a gun to school, and killed a bunch of people. People blamed her, even thought she was also shot. I think the most heartbreaking part, was that even though she was still angry with the boy, she still loved him.

The only big thing I had an issue with was the end, but the rest of the book was so good that I was okay with it. If you get the chance, read this book.

Now to continue my ramble:
I think one of the reasons I'm so drawn to these types of stories, whether it's real life, or fiction, is because it's so tragic. No one will fully know why these kids, these CHILDREN decided to bring guns to school, to shoot other CHILDREN, and then to shoot themselves. There is nothing we can do. But maybe, just maybe, we can prevent future tragedies.

Nineteen Minutes, and Hate List do a fabulous job of telling the story of the kids who bring guns to school, why they do it, what pushes them to the edge. At the end of Nineteen Minutes, I didn't want the kid to even be on trial. I felt like the jerks totally got what they deserved (harsh, but it's fiction, and so well written you had to root for the guy). In Hate List, it was kind of the same scenario. I just wanted to hug him. To make him feel better, to tell him that life gets better. People are jerks, but you can move away, go to college...don't take your life.

I am humbled by writers who explore these things because they write about the bullies, about the kids breaking, and seeing no other way. They give answers to the questions we'll never really be able to ask. I think it's why I'm so drawn to these books, even if I know I'll end up crying.

So what about you guys? Read any of these? Have any thoughts or feelings on the topic?

Word Verification and Heat

Okay, okay. Hope and J.A. you guys win. I turned my word verification off. I didn't even know it was on. Sorry.

If you're reading this, and not sure if your own blog has it on or not, I'd check J.A.'s post HERE just to make sure. It turns out there are a lot of us who are out there who hate it. I mean, I knew I hated it. Mainly because I was always afraid of mixing a letter up since they're all gross and diagonal, and...well...gross. I was unaware I was putting you guys through the torture.

In unrelated news, it's shorts weather where I'm at in Maine. Which sucks because all of the snow on the mountain is melting.

During this run, my partner in crime and I had to hike, for a long, long time to get to snow. ..

Riding has become an epic game of, AVOID-THAT-HUGE-DIRT-PATCH:

Partner In Crime

But...because the snow is melting, I've developed some bravery. I've been able to ollie over THAT-HUGE-DIRT-PATCH, I've landed more and more 180's off jumps, AND managed to do a grab (without slicing my hand off!). Plus, on a daily basis I've been riding the half pipe, which I've affectionately dubbed; The Slush Pipe.

Dropping into the Slush Pipe..I should be more forward than I am...shh...

The good news is, I haven't bashed in my knees recently. I haven't obtained another concussion (notice, my helmet is on. Thanks, Patrick!). The season is starting to come to a close.

Do you know what that means?

Oh yes. It's almost time to break this bad boy out:

Think I can add a side car for Baxter? :)

Now What?

I loathe editing. I love writing. I love the ability to word vomit on the page and not have to worry if you've forgotten a letter here, or a word there.

But editing is a different beast. Spell check doesn't catch everything, sadly. It's why we do a round or two of editing before we send our work to the beta readers. Then we edit based on feedback.

Then we go to agents, edit. Then publishers, and edit again.

Truthfully, writing is fun. Editing is the work.

Do you guys have your game faces on today? :)

It's Finished! It's Finished!

With the help of Baxter, the support of friends, and a couple of glasses of wine, it is done.

My memoir is complete.

And now to step away from it before going back and editing.

WOO!

Memoir Writing VII: A Tribute To Memoirs

Welcome to the last day of Memoir Week! Hope you all survived. Today, I'm making a tribute to some awesome memoirs I've read in recent years, and hoping that maybe you guys have some to add to the list?

Either way, here is my top ten (in no particular order):

1) Mistaken Identity
2) Loose Girl
3) Smashed
4) Driving with Dead People
5) If I'm Missing Or Dead
6) Three Weeks with My Brother
7) All Creatures Great and Small
8) Marley and Me
9) Go Ask Alice
10) The Bell Jar

Enjoy. Happy writing and happy reading. If there was an issue you would have liked me to cover this week that I missed, let me know either in comment or via e-mail. Thanks for toughing it out!

Memoir Writing VI: Condensing And Memory Lapse

Welcome to day six of Memoir Week. Whew, after that last entry, I'm somewhat terrified, and relieved. Hopefully I still have some followers coming around...(Are you there still?)

Anyways, today's topic is on Condensing and Memory Lapse.

Hands down, favorite notebook,
ever.

At AWP, someone talked about a memoir that had been written. The author went through and wrote about this grand, hours long surgery. He wrote about it once, meaning it had only been one surgery, when in fact, it had been multiple. He felt it was okay to condense all of this into that one passage. What do you think?

Truthfully, there sometimes is a memory lapse; those moments when you try to get the chronological order of things, but without documentation, it's impossible. You can't remember what color the counter top was 14 years ago, or the exact pair of pants. But, there are ways to solve this problem.

One way, is to ask a friend who was around, for help. Ask them questions, get their rendition of what happened. See how it applies to yours. In the end, go with your memory, as this is your memoir, your story, from what you remember.

Another way is to say things like, "It may have been 5a.m. when Jackson snuck out of the house." That way you're not being definitive. You're not saying it WAS 5a.m. you're saying you're unsure. Readers will cut you some slack as long as you're not writing definitives.

One other way is to be point blank and say, "I'm not sure when this happened, but I know this happened." Or even, "Though I'm writing this as one surgery, it was really several surgeries over time." You could even do the old school.* And at the bottom of the page, match the star and elaborate that there's a bit of a fib there. That way the reader won't feel completely cheated.

But if possible, try to trigger those memories. Did you keep a journal at the time? Notebooks? Twitter? Facebook? Photographs? What about asking your friends and family about what happened? What about asking them if they have pictures?

Pretty much, as a reader, I know you're going to lie to me a little bit because you probably don't have a photographic memory. It's called creative nonfiction for a reason, but please, be as truthful as you can be.

Tomorrow's post will be a tribute to memoirs. Stay tuned for the books that rocked my socks.

Memoir Writing V: Writing The Hard Stuff

Welcome to day five of Memoir Week. Today, we take a bit more of a somber note because the topic is writing the hard stuff.

So, what is the hard stuff? It's the things you'd rather not admit to, the things you'd rather forget. Chances are, it's the reason you're writing your memoir in the first place.

When I took on the idea of my memoir, I couldn't handle it. I'd written a blog post in October, updated my fear journal, but I couldn't face what had happened or what I'd done. Dear God, I'd gotten pregnant. Worse yet? I wasn't 100% sure who the father had been. In order to write the memoir truthfully and factually, I'd have to admit these things to myself, and to you guys. I would also have to realize that some of the players involved, weren't completely evil...even if I hate them.

At the time I'd taken the test I was emotionally unstable. There are pictures of my hand three weeks later after I'd punched the crap out of a wall. It got to a point I couldn't handle being awake, breathing. I laid on the couch for days on end, refusing to answer my cell phone, refusing to go into work. Then...I did the unthinkable.

I almost abandoned this little man, but in
the end, he's a huge reason why I'm
still alive.

Suicide became a viable option.

I'd gone so far as to start arranging a permanent home for Baxter so when I was dead, he'd be taken care of. I made posts like THIS or THIS on this blog. I was ready to say goodbye. And then something shifted. Someone in my Alanon group told me, "I burned my bra so that you'd have a choice. Don't let suicide be your option." Then more and more people started telling me, hugging me as I was sobbing, "You deserve the right to live, you deserve the right to make your decision." And so with their support, I made my decision:

I went to a clinic, I cried for days, and then I chopped off my hair again, started wearing jeans more often, and in less than a month, Baxter and I moved to Maine. When we arrived, I fully started going by Lynne, my middle name, rather than my first name because that girl died at the clinic. Even now, as I'm in Michigan I cringe every time someone uses that name because I loathe who I'd been.

I went from being the girl who was waiting for marriage to have sex, to the girl who was pregnant.  I went from the girl who was against abortion and to the girl in the waiting room to get one. And now, I'm writing about it.

The wounds are still fresh, and I'm incredibly angry about all of it. On certain days, the self loathing comes back, and I want to drive my car into a tree. Most of the time as I'm writing The Right To Live I'm on the brink of falling apart. There's a commercial out there about abortion that says something like, "The woman who has an abortion only says fetus, or only thinks of it as tissue." It's not true.

He or she was my child I killed. He or she was a playmate for Baxter, a niece or nephew for my sisters. But, where I am at in my life, I am not ready for a child...emotionally, financially, physically, and so I made my decision. Was it selfish? Yes. Would I have killed myself if I'd chosen to carry it to term and given it up for adoption? Yes.

After a long time of not talking about it, I'm able to write now. I'm also breaking down every time I open my lap-top. I'm panicking as I write this post because I'm afraid to lose followers because of the decision I've made. The bottom line, is that this happened to me, this is who I was, and now I'm someone else. I will never be that girl again.

So, the message today is to write your story. Write until you break down, and then go for a walk, pet your dog, hug someone. Call someone for support. But write your story, because it's yours and it's beautiful, and you deserve to share it. Push through the hard stuff. You survived it once, you can do it again.

Thanks for reading today. I hope you guys don't hate me for sharing this with you...

Tomorrow's blog: Condensing And Memory Lapse

Memoir Writing IV: Handling Potentially Offended Readers

Welcome to day four of Memoir Writing Week! Woot. Yesterday we discussed actually writing the memoir, writing your story, not someone else's.

But, that someone else will still make a cameo appearance, no?

Who saw a picture of Baxter coming here?

In one of the panels at AWP, someone said, "If your friend were writing a memoir, and you showed up, chances are you wouldn't recognize yourself." Why? Because the way we see ourselves is vastly different from the way others see us. This is something to take into consideration when we start to type.

So, you've just written your memoir. You know that your boss will be pissed, that your parents may disown you, or your brother may throw you out of the house you live in. Maybe, your husband is going to divorce you if he reads this. If that's the case, WELL DONE!

Now, for handling those situations.
When I've finished a novel, I'm always apprehensive about talking to my friends about it. Why? Because there is usually a piece of them in it, but I get the luxury of hiding and claiming it as fiction. In memoir...we don't get to hide. So that little tug you feel on your heart saying, "Please don't hate my for this," is probably valid.

When I decided to write my memoir, I thought of who the integral characters were in my story:

Him, who will probably not be named

Her, who will also probably not be named

Me

My friend Allie

My friend Jen

Maybe some Patrick

Maybe some sister

And then everyone I met in Maine when I moved

Me and Patrick before I lost my mind in NC.
Yes, I did ask if it was alright for me to post this picture.

Before I started writing, I talked to Patrick, asked his permission to write about him, asked if he was okay with it. His response? "I've always supported your writing," and for that, I love him. He's allowed me write terrible terrible things about him, even if it's claimed as fiction. He knows who he is in my life, and he allows me the freedom I strive for.

Me and my very young and wise friend, Allie

Then I talked to Allie. Whenever I've finished a novel, she's always been my first beta reader. Not because she shreds it like most betas, but because I want her opinion on whether or not the story is actually a story/has plot/makes sense. However, in my memoir, she plays a completely different role. She is the one who was more responsible than I was, the one who pushes me to be a better person. Truthfully, there won't really be anything bad to say about her, as she is one of the reasons I'm alive and standing right now. She asked to read it when I'm finished.

I talked to my sister about it, and she asked if I had enough distance from what I'm writing about. She worried that not enough time has elapsed.
But not a single one of these people told me, "No, you cannot write this."

I probed more. The people along my path, the stay I made in Virginia during Thanksgiving. I called my friend who housed me and asked his feelings. He said he and his parents would probably be fine with me writing about them, as long as they get to read the segment their in. (At some point, I feel and fear they'll read all of it, and know why I went crazy back then...then I'll have to explain myself, possibly lose them as friends...but...this is a story I need to write.)

For the two who won't be named. I know if this gets published, they'll know exactly who they are and what their part was in me losing my mind. I'm not going to ask permission because when he left me he said, "Write a story about this, get it published." And well..I'm going to do just that. Her? Well, I'm okay with never speaking to her again, either.
At the same time when I say this, even though I hate them, and would still probably prefer them to be dead, I have to be honest with them. Like the Johnny, the ex lover who decapitated the cat, I loved these people for years of my life. Up until the moment I felt betrayed, I still loved them. They weren't evil to me, they were close enough to be family to me.
And now I hate them.
But in order to write a fair and just memoir, I have to allow the reader to know that these people weren't always evil. I didn't always hate them. And at some point while writing this memoir, in order to write it well, I'll have to forgive them for what I hate them for.

So a real quick summary for how to approach potentially offended readers/loved ones:
--You could ask how they feel, or at least give them a heads up. Say, "I'm going to write a memoir, you're going to have a role in it"
--Offer to let them read it. If you choose this option and they fight you on it, make sure that you're staying true to your story
--You may even ask for some input. My memory SUCKS, so a lot of the conversations and things that happened, I'll need help with. I know Allie would be more than willing to assist with this and not be offended, but maybe other people may do the same for you. If they have a hand it it, it may lesson the anger/hurt/resentment
--If you don't want their input, if you don't want to ask permission (because honestly, I don't want that, either), you could at least offer to let them read it ahead of time so if it does hit the stands, they'll know what it says beforehand

If all else fails and you don't want to do any of this, more props to you. Be prepared for the backlash though. (But if there's a lot of backlash, did you really want these people as friends anyway?)

Tomorrows blog will focus on: Writing The Hard Stuff

Memoir Writing III: Selling People Out

Welcome to day three of Memoir Writing. Today, I'm going to focus on what I learned at a panel at AWP; Selling Out Everyone You Love. I'm also going to tie in a couple of other things I learned but...Let's start here.

People say, "Never trust a writer." Why? Because we have this little habit of basing fiction off real life...and then *GASP* some of us write the dreaded memoir. So, our life, and our friend's and family's lives are there for the world to see. So how do we handle this? How do we write about that time when Aunt Sally got drunk and peed her pants on the dance floor? How do we approach that time when Uncle Willy accidentally killed the neighbor's dog and just left it? How do we write about the people we've been in fights with, people who told us their secrets in exchange for ours, and still keep them in our lives? 

Baxter saying, "No, Lynne. Don't write about that time I chewed up that photo album you loved and then proceeded to pee on it when you yelled at me."  (This is a true story, by the way)

Firstly, those of you who follow my blog, know I post a lot of things about real life pretty regularly. I have a personal blog on Xanga that is my "Woe is me," blog. My sister will say things like, "Wow, you're able to just write about that," meaning that I'm not censoring myself, I'm just saying, "This is what happened, this is why I'm pissed."

But blogs are different from Memoir.  Memoir tells a story, your journey through (usually) hell and back.
 Stephen Elliot, author of The Adderal Diaries gave some advice,

"Find your moral line, and never cross it." 

So what's your moral line? What is that one thing that you'll never do, never write about, never say? Notice, this isn't your sister's moral line, this is yours. This is how you'll get to sleep tonight.

Things to consider when you're writing:

*Everyone you know will read it

*You don't know what will set the reader (your potential, mother, grandmother) off

In order to write a memoir well, you need to be able to forgive the people in your life for wronging you. Truth of the matter is, people aren't just evil all the time (except for the guy I lost my virginity to...literally, this kid had and still has no redeeming qualities). In contrast, people aren't always good all the time, either. As writers, and even as specifically memoirists, it is our job, our RESPONSIBILITY to say the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

The truth of this picture may have some potential
law breaking involved....

If you're unable to tell the reader that one good night you had with an ex lover before he crashed your car and decapitated your cat, we won't believe you. After all, why would you be so dumb as to let him in your apartment in the first place? Chances are that you loved him before you hated him...so why did you love him? Keep in mind, if that cat was your sister's cat, too...she may not want you to paint him in this light.  After-all, she hated him from the get-go. She told you he was bad news.

So, some things to consider  before you write your memoir:
This book is about you, and your path. It is NOT about getting literary revenge on Johnny. While he may have had a piece of the puzzle, you only need to show your interactions with him to propel YOUR story forward. This is your story, not Johnny's.

Who are the important pieces of the memoir? Why are they important?

When you write, try not to censor yourself. Don't think of friends, and family, or publication. Think of the story, because clearly, this story is important to you.

As a creative non fiction writer, you have to be willing to sell out YOURSELF before you can really sell out anyone else. If before that ex lover decapitated your cat, you handed him the knife and said, "Dude, cut my cat's head off," we need to see this. We need to see your faults, your truths that you usually leave out of your retellings. People's short comings are really what make us interesting.

With that said, remember all it boils down to is being able to write the story. So, write it before considering who you're going to offend because...

Tomorrow's blog is about handling the pissed off character in your memoir. (Also known as, "Don't you dare write this or you are not my daughter/son anymore!" and how to handle those responses.)

Memoir Writing II: Memoir Survival Kit

Welcome to day 2 of Memoir Writing! Yay. Before we really get down and dirty this week, I thought I'd make a fun post, because let's face it...writing about how we've messed up...umm...

Sucks.

So, in order to deal with these things, I've created the Memoir Survival Kit:

1--An alcoholic beverage of some sort. I prefer wine, vodka, or beer. After each intense scene, take a shot, sip, drink. If you can't drink, I'd recommend a strawberry shake. Maybe a smoothie. Something with a lot of calories to fill the gaping hole you'll feel, because trust me...it'll be there.

2--Good, positive, reassuring company. Allow yourself to take breaks call friends and family, and freak out for a moment. Make sure the people you're interacting with will push you, not hinder you. You need support to take on this project.

3--Things that inspire you. I LOVE James Frey, and I usually have this book with me when I travel because he signed it with an extremely encouraging message, "If I can write a book and get it published, you can too."

4--The ability to do research. These things may consist of; old blog posts, Facebook statuses, notebooks, old texts, or even going and harassing friends and family to get their memory to help your memory.

5--Food. Must remember to eat. Must remember to take care of yourself.

6 and 7--Water, and scenery. Water, because we need to stay hydrated. Scenery, so we can remind ourselves that life, isn't always this crappy. We've survived worse. We're here to tell our stories and to give strength to those people who haven't yet faced what they've been through. We're writers, we give voices to things that otherwise wouldn't see the light of day.

But that doesn't mean we don't need shots when we write. Ernest Hemingway said, "Write drunk; edit sober." 

Cheers!

Tomorrow's blog will talk about:

Selling Out Everyone You Love (a lovely panel from AWP). Basically, I'll be talking about how to approach personal invasion and alienation and subtle ways to say what you need to say without losing friends or family.

Hopefully, anyway.

Memoir Writing I: The Pitch

Welcome to MEMOIR WEEK!

I'm in the process of writing mine, and it terrifies me. The first day I started, I got about ten pages in, cried hysterically....then...closed my computer and stopped. At AWP, I met a woman writing her memoir about her mother's disappearance when she was 13. It turned out, that her father had murdered her mother, and until there was proof, she was forced to live with him.When she told me this, I stared for a second so I could regain composure. This was an unGodly difficult topic to discuss. I was torn between wanting to hug her, and asking if I could beta for her.

This is me and my sister, in real life. We found a fish head...
And decided to take it home. Weird? Yes. Make sense? No.

Memoir is a hard thing to get into. As I said in a panel question; real life sucks. It's messy, it's complicated, and it rarely makes sense. It's why we're so fascinated with it. Someone else said that Fiction is difficult to write because it has to make sense (inferring that real life does not make sense. Ever.)

The first thing you need to know about memoir, is that it's handle like fiction. That does not mean WRITE fiction and claim it as memoir. That means that:

*Your memoir must be written and polished. That's right; we no longer get to hide in the clouds of fiction. Our beta readers are going to see us at out lowest times in life, and they're going to still tell you that your writing is weak here, and that there is some sentence structure issues. But this time, it's your life they're going to be editing. Cringe now.
*You still send a QUERY letter. That means something like this,
My memoir, INSERT TITLE HERE, is about XXXX.
Or...
Read the backs of any other memoirs to get help with your query. What did you go through? How did it change and affect you? Why are you writing this?
*Oh, and it can't be like everything else out there. So:
Why is your memoir different?

Thus comes your PITCH.
These notes are from PNWA this last summer. Even still, I feel like they'll help. Even if you're a FICTION writer (which I am, also) :)

I was just so excited about the
bag of knowledge :)

1) Be precise about your book and where it fits into the market. "Fans of Sarah Dessen's Lock and Key may enjoy this memoir/novel." It shows that you know the market, and you know the audience you're aiming for.
2) Do NOT tell the story step by step. DO tell the SET UP, CONFLICT, and RESOLUTION.
3) Do NOT talk about your book at arms length. Immerse us in your book, make us feel for your character in that one pitch. Think about what pulls you into a novel, into a memoir. Now do the same with your pitch, pull us in.
4) Write in the voice of the narrative. So, if it's funny, be humorous. If it's sad, be a bit of a debbie downer.
5) Since you CAN'T include plot lines, choose ONE thread and make it sing. What is your novel about, ignore the sub plots, the jealous ex lovers. Who are we focused on; what happens to him/her?
6) What big concepts does your book address? Love, loss, hope?
7) End with concept in an active sentence.


Tomorrow's blog will talk about:
The Memoir First Aid Kit: Things You Need Handy When Writing Memoir