The Obligatory Thankful Post

Brenda Drake has been having the Thankful Blog Hop floating around, and as Thanksgiving is tomorrow, I guess I should, you know, contribute.

**My friends.

Me and the Penet family.
I spent last Thanksgiving with them :)

Usually here most people say friends and family here but if you know me, you'd know why I'm leaving family out of the equation. My sisters are my friends, and thus, they are included in this broad category.

In the last year, I have tested, destroyed, blown up, rekindled, and started the threads of friendship that bind me to other people. I moved across the country (the north to south way) and with the help of my friends, am now finding my feet underneath me. This feat would not have been possible without people pushing me in the right direction, offering to house my belongings because I can't afford my storage unit anymore, sending me gifts or money, putting gas in my tank, allowing me to crash in their basements while I was homeless, or loaning me $200 when my car broke down.
Without them, I would not be standing right now.

He's not impressed by NaNo

**Baxter

When I got him, it was a bad idea. I spent about four years away from him while my aunt and uncle fed him. Then about two or three years ago, I talked it over with my cousins because I loved Bax, and he loved me. They told me point blank, "Don't ask permission, just take him. If you ask, they'll say no. Just write a note, apologize, and they'll forgive you someday."

That year, Bax and I got pictures with Santa and sent out Christmas cards. Just recently, I wrote my aunt a letter, and still recieved no response. Sometimes I hear about her through my mother, but it's rare. My heart breaks more with each year that passes, but at the same time, I can't come to regret the decision I've made. Like with my friends, without Baxter, I also would not have survived the last year.


**Electricity

It's such a small thing, but when Hurricane Sandy hit Maine, my house lost power for about twelve hours. My NaNoWriMo project revolves around power going out world wide. Because of this, I've come to having quite a few anxiety attacks. I'm happy my computer works, that light switches bring light, that my iPod plays music.

Best. Job. Ever.

**Being a snowboarding instructor

When I started the season last year, I was two weeks off surgery. I was nervous, and scared, and a lesser rider than everyone around me. By the end of the season, I wasn't afraid of rails, I could rock 180s and began 360s. I rode fast, hit ice patches, got a concussion, slammed my surgery scars into the ice, but it was so, so worth it.

Last year someone made the joke, "Oh, is this one of those things you wanted to do your whole life?" and I said, "Yes, actually. I've wanted to do this since 8th grade." And I've finally gotten the chance. It doesn't pay well, the lessons can be hard, but each and every single day I get to be there is a blessing.

**A roof over my head

Even if it's not where I plan to stay forever, it's nice to have a bed to go to, a place where I can shower in peace, and a basement where I'm rarely bothered. It has its cons; like no wifi, sometimes things that make me feel ungodly uncomfortable, but there are people who don't have a place to live. So I'm thankful for mine.

Scary, isn't it?

**My Car

In the years I've had Riley, I've driven from Maine, to Michigan (a couple of times) to North Carolina, to Massachusetts, to Florida, to North Carolina, to Virginia,  to Washington D.C, and Georgia. At the age of 22, without a cosigner, I wrote my name on a line and began making payments. Sometimes they're easy to make, sometimes, like right now, they're not.

The backseat smells like something died. There is more dog hair than I think the world knows what to do with. And then, the brakes went out this week, to the point it was recommended that I stop driving. But I needed to travel to Biddeford, and Fryeberg, and today I'm in Boston. Monday night a friend, without hesitation shelled out nearly $200 so I could get my car fixed. It's amazing to drive it and not hear the screaming death I'd heard for the last month.

**The request I've gotten

It's hard being rejected. but one day, friends, those requests will turn into a deal. You just gotta keep holding on!

And, while there are several other things I'm thankful for this year, because it's oh-so-cool to do, I saved the best for last:

You guys!

**My Followers.
When I started this blog, I told myself I'd be happy with just fifty followers. Most of those were my friends who I harassed on facebook, and they probably don't even check up on this. When I reached one hundred, my jaw dropped. Now, nearly to 150, I am so humbled that you guys have stuck this thing out with me.

You guys stop in. You comment. You're supportive. Some of you have written me emails and asked questions or send further support. Two of you even sent me some awesome presents! (Have I mentioned how much I love free stuff?)

I truly and grateful for your appearance, your tweets, your re-tweets, and the interactions I have with you. Thank you for being around.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday. Eat some Turkey for me!

Why You Should Go See Breaking Dawn 2

It's a love story for the generations. Girl meets boy. Girl falls in love with boy. He's a vampire, and gets her pregnant but only after marrying her. Wait, what?

Twilight

Yep, so that's a lot of the premise for the Twilight movies. There's some blood sucking, some potential murder, and sparkly vampires. Admit it, we've all made fun of it at least once. But here's the truth; Stephenie Meyers made a crap ton of money. However, before all of that, she was a lowly writer, probably doubting that she'd ever make it.

Most of us are in that place. So before you boycott seeing Breaking Dawn 2, think of the writing community. Go out and support it, because someday, it may be your movie, and wouldn't you like it if we went out to see it, too?

The Proper Technique for Hugging

I judge people by the way they hug others...especially by the way they hug me.

This is a good and acceptable hug from my friend D.J.

While this may seem strange to you, have you ever really paid attention to the away people touch you, or you allow them to touch you, when embracing? Ever since high school, I've paid a lot of attention. This past Saturday, I was at the mountain, getting reacquainted with people I haven't seen in six months, and giving lots of hugs. Many, sadly, were sub par.

The No Hug
That moment where someone opens their arms to you, and you step away? Those are the worst hugs. Not only because it's awkward to step away, but usually because there's a reason. For those of you who don't know me, or haven't betaed my memoir, my relationship with my mother is difficult, to say the least.
During one of my trips home for college, she met me at the airport, and went to hug me. I stepped back and said, "Since when did we become a hugging family?"
It's never left me.
Out of all of the hugs you can give someone, the no hug is the worst.

Matty and me
This was the only picture I could
find that'sclose to a one armed hug

The One Armed Hug
You know when you haven't seen someone in a long while, and you can kind of remember them, but kind of not? That's what this hug is like. You wrap one arm around a person, while the other hangs limp at your side. You don't really touch each other when you embrace it's kind of a, "Hey, nice to see you," and flee.
I hate these hugs. They're so impersonal, I wonder why giving them at all?
Though, I do use them as a sort of vengeance. If I don't like you, if I don't trust you, or if you're only giving me a one armed hug, you better believe you only get one arm in return!

Attack huggin my friend Jen

The Attack Hug
They never see it coming. Most times, you're able to catch them off balance, then you topple over into a pile of snow. It's fun, it can be frisky, and if the person has good response time, they hug back, or try to.
Plus, they make for super fun pictures.
Then, as with any attack, you're free to scamper about your business.


The Bro Bump
That weird greeting where two guys see each other, link hands, then bump chests? Yea, that's a bro bump. I love these, but because I'm a girl I rarely get them. Brent, an instructor at the mountain last season, used to bro bump me all the time (after I kind of complained about not getting bro bumps because I'm a girl). It was the highlight of my day. Some thought it was weird.
The bro bump is highly underrated.
Can we make it cross genders, please?

Laura and me at my 23 birthday

The Side Hug
For some reason, you just can't meet face on. You may have tried to give a nice hug, but somehow, I end up hugging your hip. It's awkward, it's probably mildly painful, hopefully it's fast, but if you hug with two arms, I won't hold a vendetta.
But next time, I'll try to angle myself a little better.

Partner in Cime and his gf, Sarah

The 'I'm So In Love With You' Hug
 I'm not going to lie, this is the best hug known to man. It's where both sets of arms wrap around each other, there's usually some eye closing involved, and you fit together perfectly. You fully feel pulled into this person, and for a second, you don't want to let go.
It's a beautiful, beautiful moment where both people know they're safe, and neither pulls away too early.

These hugs are wonderful and reassuring.

The General Two Armed Hug
This by far is the best hug. It usually lasts about three seconds (I'm getting scientific here). It's where both parties wrap both arms around each other, there's some full body contact, and then you smile, separate, and say, "Hi" or "Bye" or "I've missed you" or "Let's get pizza."
It's appropriate for all occasions, and the best part? It makes you feel loved?
It can turn into the I'm So In Love With You Hug, or you can leave it at a two armed hug. Bottom line, if you're not hugging me with two arms, I will complain about your hugging abilities henceforth.

The Multiple People Hug
There's nothing wrong with some group action going on. It's not as exclusive as a two-person hug, but it can still be awesome.

My niece, Mackenzie, and nephew, Caleb

There are a million other hugs to offer, depression hugs, stability hugs, I'm so glad you're alive hugs, but for a general tutorial on hugs, I feel like this suffices.

If you've never considered your hugs, I hope you do now.

Censorship

I'm not usually one to censor things. I'm not usually even one to have tact and keep my thoughts in my head, so much so that Laura is sometimes afraid to go out in public with me. Usually, I'm the one swearing up a storm, even if there's a six year old in front of me.

Last week, I got a nice eye opener.

Censorship:
It feels like someone placing a hand over your mouth

The portion of my memoir that I'd selected to read for my bullying presentation used the f-bomb two or three times. There were also some other questionable things, that after consulting the teacher, we agreed that entire sentences should be deleted, and if not deleted, reworded. When we finished editing, we had what we deemed a PG rated, middle school classroom appropriate, piece of non fiction. Something, completely un-Lynne like.

Then we discussed important things (like politics, before the election).

Days later I arrived at the school, and she printed off my chapter. I read through it (skimming mostly) mildly dejected that my beautiful words had been cut. I felt it took away from the intensity of the piece. As a writer, I was offended that duct tape was being placed over my hands. I've been influenced by strong women like Kerry Cohen who go out and tell their stories to a room full of strangers. Still, I sucked up my pride, did my presentation on bullying, and then I read the piece that we had so adamantly deemed PG.

Me with one of my slides :)

And while I read, I could hear the words through the ears of a sixth, seventh, and eighth grade girl. I saw jaws drop. I saw eyes pop open. I knew their thoughts were mainly, "Am I hearing this in school?" Part of my pausing after reading was so the girls could digest what I'd read. Part of it, was so that I could digest what I'd read.

It turned out that my piece was still intense. It still got my point across. There were no f-bombs. Several suggestive sentences had been taken out. But the piece itself held true to the story, and I was suddenly, very, very happy with the changes we'd made.

Yes, Kerry Cohen talks in front of those strangers. Those strangers are usually adults. The strangers I was talking in front of were young, impressionable girls. Yes, I want them to read what they want to read. BUT, maybe they should be at least mildly braced for things they hear.

I think the moral of this post, is that you should know when to censor yourself, and when to let 'er rip.

School Bullying

On Wednesday November 7, 2012, I was invited to Ms. Varner's ASP class. I prepared for about two weeks, doing minor interviews with friends, doing research on my own life, and assembling a power point presentation. (Somehow, without being in college anymore, I forgot how much I love power point!)

Ms. Varner in her classroom

While the groundwork for the presentation had been laid, I still wasn't exactly sure what I was going to say to the class, how to really offer them that, Wow, this may have been life changing, moment. Finally, when my time came, I stood in front of the class and said, "My name is Lynne. Was anyone here for my last presentation?" A few hands shot into the air, and I smiled. I was suddenly among friends. "Well, that one focused a bit more on my home life. Today, I'm here to do a presentation on bullying."

Osteo-Biflex, Eeyore, and a chapter
from my memoir. The things
that helped me present :)

I talked a little bit about who I am now; how I take Osteo-Biflex, and how since I was like 13 years old, I've had my Eeyore in my bed, or at least in my room, every night.

From there, I told stories, about boys who'd been bullied and turned into bullies. I talked about my sister being called Buckie-the-beaver before she got braces.

I discussed with the girls what they consider bullying, whether or not they think it differs from the way males do it verses females. One girl raised her hand, and told the class about getting calls on the weekends from girls saying, "We're having so much fun at this sleepover, why aren't you here? Oh, that's right, because we didn't invite you!" She finished with, "I don't understand why they were so mean, I never did anything to them." Most of the class agreed that girls are more calculated when they bully, that they truly intend to hurt people, where-as they feel boys are more physical (shoving, pushing, tripping).

Then, I talked about who I was at their age. How my house was disgusting, how my mother was never home. I asked them if they would have been friends with me, because while I looked clean that day, I was probably a mess at their age.

Closer to the end, I read an except from my memoir, A Walk to the Ocean which had to be slightly censored and more PG appropriate (I will cover my feelings on censorship hopefully Wednesday). The segment was about being bullied in college by my roommates and co-workers, to the point I tried to kill myself. The line I finished on said, "When I got home, my roommates continued to ridicule me that night, and for the remainder of the summer," then I paused to allow them to digest what I'd read. "When you say mean and hurtful things to people, you never know what's going on in their home lives. Take a look around the room," (I had them sitting in a half arc so they could see me and each other), "you don't know what's going on, whether or not people are getting along with their parents, fighting with their siblings. You don't know if they're being hurt at home, or even if their parents are home. I grew up in a flea infested house, where maggots were growing in the back room, and my mother wasn't ever home." I paused again as the girls looked around at each other. Some heads bowed, some faces turned red. "I came to school because it was clean, because it was safe. You don't know what will push someone over the edge."

From there, I wrapped the presentation up, challenging the girls. I told them that this is middle school. I know they're not going to get along with everyone, or even like everyone. But, maybe, they can just say hi to someone they usually wouldn't. Maybe if they see someone sitting alone during lunch, they can sit with them.

After that, I went to go see my manager from UNE, and we chatted politics, and results from the election. When I returned to Claire's she had dinner waiting:

This looks like something out of a restaurant ad, no?

I was still smiling from the presentation. She asked for some follow up questions, and told me some that she would ask the following week.

A day or so later, I got a Facebook message from one of the girls in class. We've had a few exchanges since, but she was one of the girls who attended my last presentation. She thanked me for coming in, and also said, "My response to a question you asked is: I can honestly say I would be friends with you if we were the same age."

And for a time, I'm reminded, that this is what it's all about.

Happy Monday.

November Quick Reads

Most of these I read (honestly) in October, but since I know I won't be doing a lot of November reading with NaNoWriMo in full swing, here are some good (and some not so good) reads you may be interested in:

The Truth About Forever
By: Sarah Dessen
Rating on Goodreads: **** of *****

This felt a lot like Anna and the French Kiss, only with a bit more raw depression mixed in. I appreciated that Dessen took on the pressure to be perfect in light of a tragedy  and how distorted things can be when striving for that perfection.

It was a good fast read, cutesy (like Anna) at times. There were a few redundancies that bugged me (like the word innocuous, and the breezes...) but it was a good quick read.

Plus, the writing was beautiful, that helped :)

A Wolf At The Table

By Augusten Burroughs
Rating on Goodreads: *** of *****

Wow. This is right on par with If I'm Missing or Dead, and other memoirs where the parents just suck. It seriously makes me sick to know that parents treat their children like this (though my memoir can relate a lot, because my parents sucked, too.) It's truly heart breaking, even as an adult when they don't change, and you can look someone in the eye and say, "They never loved me."

If you're looking for depression, and sickening amounts of what I deem animal cruelty, this is a read for you. But brace yourself. It's not pretty.

Fallen
By Lauren Kate
Rating on Goodreads: ** of *****

I debated putting this one up here. My sister said to be a book blogger, I should put up books I didn't like, too...so... here it is.

The writing in this was good, I'll admit that. There were some sentences where I thought, "This is so pretty!" but after 400 pages, and wondering when the plot was going to get good, or wondering what the point was, I just couldn't get into it. Pretty writing cannot account for missing plot.

There were a lot of things in this novel I've seen in a lot of other novels, so most of it felt cliche. (Boarding school, love triangle, unrequited love, etc). Even when death became a factor, I wasn't emotionally involved in any of the characters. Sorry to say, I didn't like this book.

Are you my friend on Goodreads yet? You should be :)

Also, stay tuned. I also read the Hunger Games trilogy, and will post those reviews in two weeks!

The #NaNoWriMo Survival Kit

Oh, man. ARE YOU READY?

In case you're STILL not ready for National Novel Writing Month (#NaNoWriMo) here is a handy survival guide for those of you writing 50,000 words in 30 days.

The very first thing you need is:

Caffeine

It doesn't matter your source. Energy drink, frappe, coffee, tea, but I guarentee you'll need it. Why? Because when you're pulling all-nighters to meet your 2,500 words/day goal, or because you went outside and jumped in a pile of leaves and now you're behind, you'll need something to shock your system back into the OH-MAN-I'M-SO-AWAKE-I-CAN'T-SLEEP-MAY-AS-WELL-WRITE stage.


The second thing you'll need is:

Food

Gone are the days of lengthy prep, and fancy dinners with the family. These days you need food. And not just any food. For the next month, stock up on QUICK stuff; mac and cheese (if you're a cheese eater), raemen noodles, frozen pizza, those frozen meals that have noodles and stuff. Take in those preservatives, because let's face it, time is money. Become BFFs with the pizza delivery guy. That way there's no prep, and no wasted time using the microwave.

Your time should not be wasted on frivolous things like food and bathroom breaks. You've got a novel to write!

 The third thing you'll need is:

Ache relief

This one is for the hangover. Not the self induced, I had too many margaritas hangover, but rather the, I've been sitting on my ass for the last two weeks, in the same spot on the couch, and I think my tailbone may be broken from so much use, hangover.

Your eyes feel like they're bleeding yet? Is your monitor guest starring in your dreams yet? Keep these on hand. Pop as necessary.

The fourth thing you'll need is:

Distractions

You're only human. You can only stare at a blank screen for so long before you call it quits. It's okay to take some time away from writing. Go outside. Go play. Fifteen minute break.

Or, if needed 2-3 hour break so you can watch Hunger Games, and be re-inspired. I mean, this movie was based on a book! How badass!

Caution: These distractions should NOT be literary. Get away from words, and counts. Go for mindless. The Nintendo DS is excellent for this. As is Connect Four. And reality TV.

The fifth thing you'll need is:

A Plethora of Comfy Pants

Sweatpants, pajama pants, those pants that look like jeans but are actually something else. Maybe a snuggie and no pants? Choose. Maybe don a hoodie. Don't shower. Don't wash your hair. Make a cup of tea. Sit down. You'll be here for awhile.



The sixth thing you'll need is:

Support

Surround yourself with positive messages. Things people have given you that mean something. Remember, NaNoWriMo is fun, it's hard, and you're not alone.

In my stash is a bookmark my friend Claire bought me saying, Careful or you'll end up in my novel, a coffee mug my friend Liz sent me saying, Be Brave Enough to Break Your Own Heart, and a sign my friend Amanda made me saying, Quiet Please, Memoir Writing in Progress. DO NOT Disturb!

Trust me, those days will come where you stare at your screen, your wavering word count, and think I can't do this! Make sure you have supportive things to look at to push you on.

The seventh thing you'll need is:

Someone Who Thinks You're Friggin Great

It doesn't matter who it is; co worker, spouse, significant other, twitter friends, dog, but you need someone who will be your sounding board. Someone you can call and say, "I think I just killed my main character's best friend." Someone who knows you are crazy, and they'll still love you anyway. They know you hear voices. They want to hear them, too.

I called my friend, Peter, the other day (he's a boy, so when I need a guy's perspective, I call him and ask really weird *usually obscene  questions and call it research). He actually let me read pretty darn close to the first two chapters of my UNEDITED novel.

My poor sister has been getting several phone calls a day, with me saying, "Dude, listen to this!" She's helpful because she'll bounce back with, "I don't think this is possible yet because..."

Have people to talk to, people who understand how much this project means to you.

And last, and possibly most important. Number eight on the NaNoWriMo Survival Kit:

A Writing Space

Do you work best in the library? At a coffee shop? In a basement where you've pushed two large chairs together so it somewhat resembles a boat? (If you didn't catch it, that last one is my writing space :) ).

Pick your space. Pick your drink and your food. Go to your space, and shell out 50,000 words.

This is NaNoWriMo, you only have so many days till the end.

Game on. Don't quit. Don't edit. Just write.

Also, if you'd like to buddy me, HERE I am. And if you want it, HERE are some tips for speed writing :)

Happy NaNo!