Living the Dream

My first day of a big girl job apparel 

It's 7am and my alarm is going off. For the last several months, it'd be typical for me to roll out of bed around 9am or even as late as 11am. No longer. I get away with snoozing two to three times. Then. I HAVE to get up.

My hair is sticking up in all directions. The make-up I couldn't wash off my face last night attaches itself just under my sleep filled eyes. I snap my fingers twice to avoid talking for another few minutes, and Baxter and Kyla meet me at the door to go outside.

I shower, eat breakfast, debate on putting on make-up again, dress, pet the dogs, make sure I have everything: voice recorder, notebooks, pens, pictures of Baxter to put on my desk, wallet, keys, cell phone, etc, kiss the dogs goodbye, and then I'm out the door. Most mornings, I make one stop: the coffee shop, where I'll spend $2-$4 on either coffee or an iced caramel macciato. Usually by noon, I start shaking and forgetting how to make the letter "D".

My first day, I worked over ten hours. My second day was somewhere around 9. By day three, I passed out at 5pm and woke up at around 7:30pm. It's been a challenging and exhausting week, but it's been amazing to see this:

Two of these FRONT PAGE stories
are mine!

If your theory of Living the Dream is getting paid to write, I feel like I've made it. I work 40 hours a week. I get assigned articles, and get to cover ones I think are interesting. I get paid to write. Not to stock shelves, cash people out, get yelled at for ID people who look under age.

I feel like I'm on top of the world right now.

Just you know, a little tired.

The Fear of What If?

I just love books so much

I read a lot of books. It kind of comes with the writing territory. Some books are amazing (like If I Stay, Looking for Alaska, etc), and some are just okay.

But when I finish one of those great books; the ones where the characters haunt me, or the plot annoys me, or I wish I were friends with their friends, I struggle with The Fear of What If.

What if I can't ever write something this good? What if my story doesn't flow as well, if the characters never fully come to life, or if my ending doesn't conclude the way it should? What if...

my writing sucks?

Sometimes I recover quickly from these episodes. Sometimes, I hide my pen and computer for a few days saying, "Well, you should just quit while you're ahead and continue with your dead end job."

I may have a small book addiction...

But some days, I look at the books in my room. I sit among great authors like Alice Hoffman, and Kerry Cohen, and Jodi Picoult. I sit among the books I've loved, and thrown, and not cared about. Their presence brings me a sense of hope. When in doubt, I read an acknowledgement page. When I'm really, really, in doubt, ready to curl in the fetal position and cry, I look at the pictures of authors I've met.

They were like me once. They had blogs. They have tweets. They had hopes, and dreams, and they kept going. They already wrote their books. The great books that I'm jealous of are already out there. I need to write my book, with my words.

So, I open up my computer and stare at the cursor as it blinks back at me.

It's all part of the writing game. (You should keep going, too.)

Spring Cleaning

I realized today that the snow is melting. Which means snowboarding will be ending. It also means that I'll be down one job. I'll have more free time to do things. Like sit in my room, in my pajamas, with my laptop and write. And maybe read. If Baxter's lucky, there may be some snuggling to be had, too.

There is a lot I need to organize....

Anyway, it's Road Trip Wednesday over at YA Highway, so I figured I'd jump in. Their question posed was something along the lines of, Spring Cleaning, What do you hope to clean up in your writing?

I've been hearing from agents that they're having difficulty connecting to my main character(s), rather I'm still stuck in the showing verses telling. So, once the snow melts and my heart dies a bit (only for a couple months, it'll be back!) I fully intend to sit down and give my novels a few rounds of editing. Right now, I'm focusing on my memoir.

What about you guys, what common pitfalls do you fall into?

The Longest Week

Later today I'll be travelling approximately two hours to an airport to pick her up:

My sister, my sister!

 From there, we will drive home where we will maybe make some food. Maybe shower (separately, that's weird). And then very early in the morning we will rise and do this:

Snowboard!

After we beat ourselves up on the mountain, and she re-learns how to snowboard, it's time for home, and tacos, and sleep because the following morning, we're off to do this:

AWP 2013
Boston

Perhaps this year, I may actually have a planned place to stay...

...Then again, maybe not

New Settings

You know that moment where you look at your table and the bills are stacked up, or your kids (or dogs) won't stop making noise. Your head starts to swell, it becomes difficult to breathe...and your only thought is, "I gotta get out of here."

Sometimes all you need is a large meadow of snow
Perhaps some hot chocolate

First you try to buy some new gear, shoes, a new pretty pen, and it works for a couple of days. Then you befriend the local cashier at your bank or grocery store. But when that's not quite cutting it and you feel smothered, there's one more trick. Finding a new setting.

I live in a gingerbread house

I moved in early in February and have been here for about a month. It's not evil roommates making me anxious, it's the fact that I have way too much stuff. Boxes are all over the house. BUT overall, the place is nice. The only downfall is that there's not a yard for Baxter to play in so I've been trying to take him running or for long walks as much as possible. I've also taken some displays from work and turned them into bookshelves (will post pictures soon), so it's helping with the clutter.

Bottom line is, if you get to the point you can't breathe or even hear your thoughts anymore, take your new fancy pen, your new fancy friend, and try somewhere new. Perhaps a coffee shop, a McDonald's, anywhere that has wifi, you pick. But let yourself breathe, it's okay to need some time away.

Happy Friday.

Make Noise

One of the tips and tricks that NaNoWriMo suggested was to tell everyone that you're writing a novel. Why? Because they hope people will ask that question, "How is your novel going?" and they think that this will help keep you on track. But maybe someday when that book sells, they'll see it in a store, and say, "Whoa, I totally knew that author way back when."

"Hi. My name is Lynn(e), and I write novels.
I know I look scary, but really,
I'm not. I promise!"

Making something of yourself (aka Building a Platform) is going to be a lot like that. When people ask how you are, don't just shrug it off. Talk to EVERYONE. I don't care if you're a retail associate (::cough::...that may be what I am), and you're telling customers. If you work at McDonald's, tell your co-workers, your customers, your managers what you're up to. Talk to the people at the post office, the cashier as you check out at the grocery store. I actually got out of a $250 ticket because I chatted with the officer about moving from North Carolina, being an author, my motivational stints, etc. (Yea, totally was rocking an unregistered car and had an out of state licence )

Talk to people. If they ask, let them hear it. If they don't ask, bring it up. Even if you're not published, tell people you're an author. When you're at conferences, TALK TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU PASS.

Why?

Have you written a book, or a short story? Then HELLO, that means you're an author. You didn't tell them you were a published author, and really, that may be only a matter of time. The more you tell people you write, the more potential books you've just sold. (WARNING: Once you let this little cat out of the bag, everyone and their brother will suddenly admit to being an author as well.) This is how you start to build your platform. When you talk to strangers you don't actually know who they are or what they'll do (like, you know, get you out of a $250 ticket, or set up your next public speaking gig).

Poor waitress never saw it coming.
Now she has to pretend to be interested!

I got an article about me run in the newspaper; once just talking about my life. Even now, weeks after the article ran, customers still stop in and say, "Weren't you in the paper?" Another time because I allegedly won the Tea Tag Contest (although Good Earth Tea still hasn't send the tea...so I don't know what the deal with that is...)

I tell people about the stuff from my life and BAM now I go to schools and talk about bullying or cutting. I go to a refresher to be reinstated as a snowboarding instructor and BAM, December 6th, I had a presentation to put together at a Rotary Club for adults who may be willing to help further my endeavors, bringing me to other schools to spread the message, and thus building my platform.(Although, at most schools I'm not allowed to talk about abortion, BUT I do always manage to read aloud a section of my memoir because I can make it relevant :) ).

The truth is, no one is going to make noise for you.

Think of it like this:

We've all seen Titanic, right? SPOILER ALERT: Well when Rose is pretty much freezing to death on that wooden plank, and the boats are rowing shouting, "Is anyone alive out there?" Imagine what would have happened if she just stayed quiet. Instead, she yelled, she screamed (or um, tried to). She jumped back in the freezing water to find a whistle because her voice was shot.

And she was pulled out of the water.

Fear nothing!

For a lot of us, the water we're drowning in is bills, or fearing we won't make it, or query writing. You'll freeze your ass off jumping in the water, but when you get to that whistle, you better start making noise. It's the only way you're going to get rescued.

The Truths About Dating and Mating

Today, my blog has been invaded by none other than Jaycee DeLorenzo! If you haven't heard of her, hopefully you'll look her up after this because well, she rocks! 

With no further ado, take it away!

Hello, everyone! This is Jaycee DeLorenzo on my book/blog tour for The Truths about Dating and Mating. Today Lynn(e) has asked me to answer some questions regarding how I wrote this and what keeps me motivated.

In regards to how –

Plotter or pantser? 

I am a plotter.  I write a huge general summary of the story before I get started, and then I just start writing.

Word Count goal? 

Nope!  I just go with it without worry about word count until I feel the story was finished.  The first version of this was 147,000 words, which was waaaaaayyy too long.  I had to get it down to about 100,000. That all happened in the editing process.

How long did it take me to write and what was my inspiration?

Ten years ago – give or take – I was driving home from my husband’s work and listening to Loveline in the radio.  There was a question asked, which was given an answer that I found bland and poorly handled.  I just kind of blurted out my own answer, a little funny and a little sarcastically, but it was accurate.  I was always looking for story ideas, so I thought about it for the rest of the ride, and then free-wrote my first chapter, then forgot about it for a while.  I found the file again some time later, and decided to do something with it, which included putting together my outline.  So, it’s been ten years in the making, but there were plenty of times I’d go months without working on it.  Only in the last year, did I get serious about finishing it.     

As for what keeps me motivated…?

I’ve wanted to be published forever, and I set a goal to do it this year.  Knowing the end of the year was coming up was a huge motivator to get my book done.  And now, today is my release day, so I’ve done it! 

Thanks for having me today, Lynn(e)

The Truths about Dating and Mating

Author:  Jaycee DeLorenzo

Release Date:  November 21, 2012

Spunky Italian coed Ivy Rossini likes to talk and push the boundaries. She gets to do both as she co-hosts Riordan College’s radio program, The Truths about Dating and Mating, alongside her lifelong best friend, Ian Hollister.

Being the only girl who cares to see beyond Ian’s bad boy reputation has its advantages, especially when he’s scaring off the jerks who just want to nail the campus sex-guru. It’s when he’s “protecting” her from the advances she welcomes that she wants to lob him over the head and tell him to butt out. But Ivy’s feels like she’s the one who’s taken a hit when Ian almost kisses her at a party. She knows she should feel relieved when he pulls away, so why is she disappointed instead?

What’s worse, Ivy’s now getting aroused by Ian’s slightest touch and can’t stop entertaining thoughts of a romantic future. But Ian doesn’t do relationships, and she’s not interested in anything casual. In the end, Ivy decides it’s best to keep her growing feelings a secret and hope they’ll pass. However, when Ian begins hinting at wanting to take things to the next level, she’s forced to decide if a chance at something more is worth risking everything they’ve built. 
With their friendship and her heart hanging in the balance, can Ivy follow the advice she and Ian give their listeners - to communicate, be honest, and trust in themselves - or will insecurity, stubbornness, and pride ruin any chance of their relationship getting off the ground?

Buy links:

Amazon

B&N

Smashwords

About The Author:

The super amazing Jaycee!

Jaycee DeLorenzo hails from Tucson, Arizona, on the outskirts of the Saguaro National Park – which she believes to be the most beautiful spread of desert in the world.  By day, Jaycee is an English language teacher to elementary students. By night, she’s a wife, mother, writer, cover artist, website designer, and blogger.  In her spare time, she enjoys reading, cooking, singing (very poorly), catching up on her favorite T.V. shows, and researching.

The Truths about Dating and Mating is Jaycee's debut novel, and the first in a series centering around students of the fictitious Riordan College.

Find me on the web:

Website  |  Blog  |  Twitter  |  Facebook 

Goodreads link:  http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16106510-the-truths-about-dating-and-mating

Along with my tour, I’m doing a giveaway!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Censorship

I'm not usually one to censor things. I'm not usually even one to have tact and keep my thoughts in my head, so much so that Laura is sometimes afraid to go out in public with me. Usually, I'm the one swearing up a storm, even if there's a six year old in front of me.

Last week, I got a nice eye opener.

Censorship:
It feels like someone placing a hand over your mouth

The portion of my memoir that I'd selected to read for my bullying presentation used the f-bomb two or three times. There were also some other questionable things, that after consulting the teacher, we agreed that entire sentences should be deleted, and if not deleted, reworded. When we finished editing, we had what we deemed a PG rated, middle school classroom appropriate, piece of non fiction. Something, completely un-Lynne like.

Then we discussed important things (like politics, before the election).

Days later I arrived at the school, and she printed off my chapter. I read through it (skimming mostly) mildly dejected that my beautiful words had been cut. I felt it took away from the intensity of the piece. As a writer, I was offended that duct tape was being placed over my hands. I've been influenced by strong women like Kerry Cohen who go out and tell their stories to a room full of strangers. Still, I sucked up my pride, did my presentation on bullying, and then I read the piece that we had so adamantly deemed PG.

Me with one of my slides :)

And while I read, I could hear the words through the ears of a sixth, seventh, and eighth grade girl. I saw jaws drop. I saw eyes pop open. I knew their thoughts were mainly, "Am I hearing this in school?" Part of my pausing after reading was so the girls could digest what I'd read. Part of it, was so that I could digest what I'd read.

It turned out that my piece was still intense. It still got my point across. There were no f-bombs. Several suggestive sentences had been taken out. But the piece itself held true to the story, and I was suddenly, very, very happy with the changes we'd made.

Yes, Kerry Cohen talks in front of those strangers. Those strangers are usually adults. The strangers I was talking in front of were young, impressionable girls. Yes, I want them to read what they want to read. BUT, maybe they should be at least mildly braced for things they hear.

I think the moral of this post, is that you should know when to censor yourself, and when to let 'er rip.

The #NaNoWriMo Survival Kit

Oh, man. ARE YOU READY?

In case you're STILL not ready for National Novel Writing Month (#NaNoWriMo) here is a handy survival guide for those of you writing 50,000 words in 30 days.

The very first thing you need is:

Caffeine

It doesn't matter your source. Energy drink, frappe, coffee, tea, but I guarentee you'll need it. Why? Because when you're pulling all-nighters to meet your 2,500 words/day goal, or because you went outside and jumped in a pile of leaves and now you're behind, you'll need something to shock your system back into the OH-MAN-I'M-SO-AWAKE-I-CAN'T-SLEEP-MAY-AS-WELL-WRITE stage.


The second thing you'll need is:

Food

Gone are the days of lengthy prep, and fancy dinners with the family. These days you need food. And not just any food. For the next month, stock up on QUICK stuff; mac and cheese (if you're a cheese eater), raemen noodles, frozen pizza, those frozen meals that have noodles and stuff. Take in those preservatives, because let's face it, time is money. Become BFFs with the pizza delivery guy. That way there's no prep, and no wasted time using the microwave.

Your time should not be wasted on frivolous things like food and bathroom breaks. You've got a novel to write!

 The third thing you'll need is:

Ache relief

This one is for the hangover. Not the self induced, I had too many margaritas hangover, but rather the, I've been sitting on my ass for the last two weeks, in the same spot on the couch, and I think my tailbone may be broken from so much use, hangover.

Your eyes feel like they're bleeding yet? Is your monitor guest starring in your dreams yet? Keep these on hand. Pop as necessary.

The fourth thing you'll need is:

Distractions

You're only human. You can only stare at a blank screen for so long before you call it quits. It's okay to take some time away from writing. Go outside. Go play. Fifteen minute break.

Or, if needed 2-3 hour break so you can watch Hunger Games, and be re-inspired. I mean, this movie was based on a book! How badass!

Caution: These distractions should NOT be literary. Get away from words, and counts. Go for mindless. The Nintendo DS is excellent for this. As is Connect Four. And reality TV.

The fifth thing you'll need is:

A Plethora of Comfy Pants

Sweatpants, pajama pants, those pants that look like jeans but are actually something else. Maybe a snuggie and no pants? Choose. Maybe don a hoodie. Don't shower. Don't wash your hair. Make a cup of tea. Sit down. You'll be here for awhile.



The sixth thing you'll need is:

Support

Surround yourself with positive messages. Things people have given you that mean something. Remember, NaNoWriMo is fun, it's hard, and you're not alone.

In my stash is a bookmark my friend Claire bought me saying, Careful or you'll end up in my novel, a coffee mug my friend Liz sent me saying, Be Brave Enough to Break Your Own Heart, and a sign my friend Amanda made me saying, Quiet Please, Memoir Writing in Progress. DO NOT Disturb!

Trust me, those days will come where you stare at your screen, your wavering word count, and think I can't do this! Make sure you have supportive things to look at to push you on.

The seventh thing you'll need is:

Someone Who Thinks You're Friggin Great

It doesn't matter who it is; co worker, spouse, significant other, twitter friends, dog, but you need someone who will be your sounding board. Someone you can call and say, "I think I just killed my main character's best friend." Someone who knows you are crazy, and they'll still love you anyway. They know you hear voices. They want to hear them, too.

I called my friend, Peter, the other day (he's a boy, so when I need a guy's perspective, I call him and ask really weird *usually obscene  questions and call it research). He actually let me read pretty darn close to the first two chapters of my UNEDITED novel.

My poor sister has been getting several phone calls a day, with me saying, "Dude, listen to this!" She's helpful because she'll bounce back with, "I don't think this is possible yet because..."

Have people to talk to, people who understand how much this project means to you.

And last, and possibly most important. Number eight on the NaNoWriMo Survival Kit:

A Writing Space

Do you work best in the library? At a coffee shop? In a basement where you've pushed two large chairs together so it somewhat resembles a boat? (If you didn't catch it, that last one is my writing space :) ).

Pick your space. Pick your drink and your food. Go to your space, and shell out 50,000 words.

This is NaNoWriMo, you only have so many days till the end.

Game on. Don't quit. Don't edit. Just write.

Also, if you'd like to buddy me, HERE I am. And if you want it, HERE are some tips for speed writing :)

Happy NaNo!

Mid Month Goals

It's Mid October. And look at this! I'm still alive!

It's like being on top of the world!

I'm still breathing!

Huray!!

With that said, now that I'm almost through the Month of Hell, it's time to start looking forward. National Novel Writing Month is November (that handy little #NaNoWriMo tag you see floating around twitter), and thus before I delve into a new novel, there are some things I feel I must do:

Wait for it....wait for it...

1) Finish editing the memoir. Find a cohesive ending that feels complete to me, and that chapter of my life. Take a deep breath, find a stiff drink, and keep my chin up.

2) Finish editing After Elizabeth, which...has been edited about a million times, but when agents say, "This is what I have a problem with," well, I'm going to listen.

3) Think. Do research. See if any voices start speaking to me. Take notes.

4) Start doing writing prompts to get the juices flowing. I recommend Old Friend from Far Away, and The Pocket Muse 2, and The Writer's Block.

5) Time management. Money management.

But really the big stressers are the editing. The memoir gives me anxiety attacks and insomnia. The novel just makes me feel overwhelmed. But once those are done, FULLY done, I'm ready for #NaNoWriMo

What about you guys? Any last minute things you need to tie up before diving in?

Did I Notice Your Book?

Alex J Cavanaugh and Ciara Knight came up with this blog hop. Been browsing through Amazon? Goodreads? The library? See a book that really caught your attention? Here's your chance to give it a shout out.

I've been spending a lot of time in my local library. To the point the other day during my lunch break, I came in to ask a question, freaked out because all the computers were taken...and they handed me a laptop asking, "Where's yours?" (I'm pretty sure they know me now...and they know I write...and I owe them $3.30 in paper fines...still.) Anyways, so all this library dwelling leads to staring at a book case...which means that each time I come in I usually spend about 5-10 minutes browsing, seeing if I'll use my library card again.

So, the book that I've recently noticed was:

Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin.

I was drawn to this book because it has a beautiful cover (don't you think?). Then I read the inside cover and was like, "Man, when I'm not drowning in my TBR pile, this one's getting added!" (May have added it to my Christmas list :) ). I don't think Zevin is a NYT best selling author (I googled her and didn't see anything telling me she was) so this book fits the criteria for the hop. And now, I'm excited to read it!

So what about you guys? Any books you've wandered by and fallen in love with?

Tingly Movies or Books

This week for the Express Yourself Meme is:

List the five books/movies that caused the hair to stand up on the back of your neck. This also works out, because I love lists :)

So here we go:

5) Paranormal Activity 1
Okay, in all fairness, this one wasn't so creepy. Until I got home that night, and there was an attic connected to my bedroom, and I was like "OMG, did the bedsheets just lift?"And then I curled into the fetal position, clutching my Eeyore. Not a pretty sight.

This is some terrifying stuff

4) Harrison Bergeron, by Kurt Vonnegut
Okay, so it's not a novel, but it's a short story that scared the crap out of me. It's a dystopian short story where everyone is average. Smart people have things in their ears to break off their thoughts. Athletic people are weighed down by sandbags so they're no faster or better than the people beside them.
And just as the uprising starts, it gets shot down.
This story ripped my heart out of my chest, and made me fall in love with Vonnegut's work.

3) Pet Cemetery 2
First off, the step dad killed the dog. And then there was the motorcycle scene? This movie still gives me nightmares, but really, as soon as an animal dies, I start crying.

2) Night of the Living Dummy, R.L. Stine
There is NOTHING more horrifying than an inanimate object coming to life. And when you're in middle school (or elementary), and a dummy starts torturing you...you know it's the end of the world. The Chucky movies rival this place, but either way, dummies and dolls scare me to death. Dummies and dolls and clowns. And then to have them trying to kill you? No way. No effing way. I never had dolls growing up because I was scared they'd cut me when I slept. I had stuffed animals, because if they were gonna come alive, they'd defend me, and if they tried to eat me, at least they'd be cute.

1) Paranormal Activity 2
This one made me about pee my pants. Where the first one wasn't so scary until you got home, this one made me TERRIFIED to go home. I literally shook for about two hours after the movie, went to my boyfriends house, where he (also scared crapless) stated, "We're watching a funny movie, and sleeping with the lights on. Whoever falls asleep first, wins." He fell asleep first. I was afraid to leave the bed and go to the bathroom.

The Amityville Horror, and Haunting in Connecticut are also great scary movies. The woman from the Haunting in Connecticut actually came to my school to talk about what actually happened. I still get goosebumps.

And if you're wondering, I haven't forgotten about the post from the race. I just haven't had time to upload the pictures and write about it yet. Should be up Friday!

ALSO--I saw that there is a blog hop, something like "Did I notice your novel" and I think it happens October 17th....Um...Does anyone know who is hosting that one? I can't seem to find it again....(My bad)

Character Names (Express Yourself)

After doing some blog catch up, I stumbled across the Express Yourself weekly meme. And because it's weekly, there are posts each week to let bloggers get to know you, and your work a bit more. Sounds fun, right?

This week's question is,
Character Names: What was your process for acquiring it?

I've already talked about why Claire is named Claire in After Elizabeth, but I'm not sure I've touched on Allie in My Sister's Memories, so here's that story.

I have bad hat hair. Allie looks awesome.

At work they called her Little Allie, because there was Ali, and Allison, and Allie. We needed a way to get everyone correct because if you said the name, "Allie" you could be referring to one of several. She was the youngest crew member, and though she was young, she was wise beyond her years.

"Big Ali or Little Allie?" people would ask when you said the name.

Then everyone would be on the same page.

I knew of her but I didn't really meet her until I started working more at the store. If she was working on the same level that I was, I would read her chapters/paragraphs of the novel I was working on. "That sounds great!" she'd say, and I'd beam.

One night, she and her best friend, Jenna, came over. "Hey, you write, right?"

"Um, yea..." I answered.

"Would you mind reading our college entrance essays?"

"Sure!" I said, and got to work.

Allie's essay was honest for someone so young. It talked about being straight edge and why that's so important to her. As I read her words, it reminded me a lot of me when I was her age (you know, outstanding kid and all ;) ). I gave her back her edits, and she sent her submission off.

From then on out, Allie, Jenna, and I became friends.

Me, Ana, Jenna, and Allie

She was in attendance when I did an open mic night, I was invited to her open house, I visited her at her college, and she once helped tow me and an idiot boyfriend out of a sand bar.

"Let's be pen pals!" she suggested before she left for college.

"That sounds awesome!" I agreed.

Well, she wrote me a letter, sending me a button saying, Train Wreck, on it...and well...I never wrote back.

When things went downhill, Allie was the first one I freaked out on as she and her sister sat on my couch. Then in a psycho-like fashion, I peer pressured her to come to someone's house where I lost it on him, too. She then sat with me on a beach access in the middle of the night while I bawled my eyes out watching the moon dance on ocean waves.

I felt the stairs shake before she said anything. "You're cold?"

"Do you mind if we leave?" she asked in shorts and a t-shirt in the chilly October night.

I wiped the tears away and stood to drive home.

As I left the island, she and her sister were the last people I saw in the state of North Carolina.

In the following months, Allie was on the phone after something really bad, or something really good happened. I snowboarded on the phone with her, moved across the country on the phone with her. And this year, at long last, we are finally pen pals. (I've actually been writing back this time :) )

I love Little Allie like a sister. She's my BFF. I try to give advice when I can (still reminding her that I'm more of a train wreck than a role model), and watch out for her. Because of this, when I needed a name for the little sister in My Sister's Memories, Allie was the first thing that came to mind, and it fit with her personality pretty well.

So that's why Allie is Allie.

How do you guys come up with your character names?

Things That Stop You

In a follow up to my previous blog, and in concert with the fact I seriously like to make lists for blog posts, here's another one.

It turns out I'm masochistic. Who knew? Okay, okay, I've known since I was in sixth grade...but really. Those of us who write set ourselves up for rejection, tears, and straight up heart break. So it only makes sense that I'd be a runner, too. Why? Because it hurts, because you run through pain, finish races sometimes crying (or if you were me in high school, with your lip bleeding because that's how you redirected pain...). But because I like pain, I run, and I write, and I submit, and compete, and...cry.

But that doesn't mean it's easy...ever.

Let's see.

The Top 5 Things That Stop You (From Being Epic)

5) Time

It's easy to forget to run. You wake up, make breakfast, (consider showering..) go to work, work an eight hour shift (eight and a half because you have to clock out for lunch if you're anything like me), drive 10-20 minutes home, do laundry, feed the dog (or the kids if you have them), feed yourself. By that point, maybe your knees hurt from standing. Maybe your back hurts from sitting. Running fades somewhere into the background. Plus, it's dark outside. Horror movies start this way. That mailbox sure looks cute and innocent in the daylight, but at night? That mailbox hosts demons, and ghosts, and OH MY GOSH WHAT WAS THAT? DID SOMETHING JUST MOVE? 

You literally have to go out of your way to run. You literally have to put time in, and make it a priority. Something else (like, oh...writing) gets cut out when you spend a half hour on the road.

4) Running Trails

At the old place, I lived in an awesome running area. If you went right out of the apartment complex, about a half mile later there were trails. If you went left, and left again, there was this place called Evan's Notch, which was beside a river. Very scenic. If you just went left, you cross a bridge, and run. Then, you could go straight, more bridges, more roads. It was full of options.

Where I live now, I can go right, which has a small road that usually eats up about five minutes of the run and has a LARGE and LENGTHY hill, and then a straight road. 

I can go left, which has a smaller hill (as you end), and I recently discovered a magical trail. But still, it's the same two roads over, and over, and over. Ever listen to a song on repeat? Ever just need to...stop listening to it?

3) The Lone Ranger

Running, like writing, is a solitary sport. Sure you can be on the track and field team, or the cross country team, but in the end YOUR times depend on YOU. Which means that if you're not part of a running club, or a team, you have to push yourself. You have to give yourself a reason to run. 

Half the time you won't be as fast as you'd like. Most of the time there is something better to do (see napping above). It's hard being your own motivation. 

2) It Hurts

Knee pain, hip pain, cramps, shin splits, twisted ankles, stress fractures, toenails that fall off... Talk to any runner and you'll hear an endless list of ailments that we run through. When I ran in high school after my first knee surgery, I made a deal with my body; If my knees made it through the race, I'd ice them later. Literally as I crossed the finish line, they gave out, and I couldn't get up. Teammates, sisters, or the boy I loved had to help me up and act as a leaning post until I could walk again.
A good run is considered a day where the pain is minimal, if not absent...but even still if we're not hydrated well enough, if we didn't eat enough...it hurts, and it hurts a lot. And we'll keep going.

1) Yourself

Let's face it, we all want to come in first place. Personally, I want to be fast enough to beat my sister again, who when she'd popped out her first kiddo, and while she was preggers with the second managed to run in the 19 minutes. (She is Iron Man.)

But I am Lynn(e). I've had two knee surgeries. I have hip problems. Sometimes my heart messes up. 

There's a point where you run, and you run, and you think, Why am I doing this? There's a point where your brain will think, You know, three miles is pretty far. Let's just...do one. Or none. You know, let's nap. Screw running. 

And naps? Well, they rock. But the biggest obsticle is the block in your head that tells your you're not good enough so why bother trying.

Good runners fight that, waving a middle finger in the air saying, I don't care what you think Negative Nancy in my brain. I'm going to run because I love it, and I want to, and because it makes me feel good.

Most of this can tie into writing. We have to section time to write, and things (like children, husbands, wives, dogs, running) gets neglected. The Running Trails can be considered writing block, where you have to just step out, and find something new, some fresh material before you can start up again. We all know writing is a solitary game (hopefully most of you aren't Emily Dickinson-ing it up). And the rejections hurt. The death, and pain, and injuries of our characters hurt. Memoirs tend to hurt even more than that.

And we all try to sabotage ourselves, our works by saying that we aren't good enough.

So just as I told you to go Pick a Puppy, today's message is to Keep Running. Push through the pain, the self defeat. Find time. Keep going.

The finish line may only be a 5K away.

Meet and Greet

Welcome to the Meet and Greet for GUTGAA. If you don't know what's going on, you should head on over and check it out! Today, Deana Barnhart asked a few questions, and here I am to answer them!

Where do you write? 

Everywhere. On my phone, on napkins, on my laptop...when the idea strikes me, I hunt for a pen, and whatever can hold ink. From there, I write. Sometimes it's still legible by the time I'm able to type it up! 

If I'm in a project and trying to keep my word count going, I usually write in my bedroom, with my iPod on shuffle. But my bedroom changes about every three months because I move so much.

Quick. Go to your writing space, sit down and look to your left. What is the first thing you see?

Well currently, I'm in the library. So to my left I see this:

But usually, it's a dirty tea cup, maybe some water. Some pens. Maybe crayons or makers. Or, you know, Baxter.

Favorite time to write?

At night. First thing in the morning I'm a bit of a monster, and can't function for a couple of hours. I have sleeping problems anyway, and my best ideas seem to come at 2am...which explains a lot of the nightmares and random dreams...

Drink of choice while writing?

Pepsi and ::cough:: rum. 

Or an energy drink. Or water. I think tea helps a lot. Especially because I just won a free year's supply! :)

When writing , do you listen to music or do you need complete silence?

MUSIC. I cannot function without music. (This library atmosphere is currently killing me, which is why I'm blogging, and not writing...)

What was your inspiration for your latest manuscript and where did you find it?

My last manuscript was After Elizabeth, about a girl recovering from her best friend's suicide. I got the inspiration because I was (and am) still very bitter with everything that happened last year, and I felt like killing someone. When all was said and done, one of the last things I told those people was, "You're dead to me," and they continued what they did anyway, so it was like they killed themselves to me. So rather than murder, I had a character kill herself. I'm a lot like Claire...still recovering from the death of my best friends.

What's your most valuable writing tip?

Finish.

If you're writing your first manuscript, finish it. I don't care if you decide to kill all of your characters, get them abducted by aliens, whatever. Just finish the manuscript. Why? Because once you finish one, you'll be able to finish another, and it'll be better. And your next will be better than that. 

Suddenly, that 60,000 word goal isn't so daunting.

Happy Monday!
(Also, this was a pre-scheduled post. If anyone comments, I'll check your post out, but sadly, I live by my work schedule and when I can get to the library currently. Sorry I can't hop around too much!)

I Was in the Paper!

I've been behind on blog posts because as usual, life is getting in the way. Well, life and sleep. Slept for about 15 hours last night...turns out the weeks of insomnia caught up to me. But I'm trying to be productive again, so here's some news for you.

I was in the paper! Not once, but twice.

The first time was during my basement dwelling days. I'd stopped to get gas, and a reporter asked me to be a part of their Person on the Street column.

The question I responded to was, "Should schools be responsible for disciplining students who cyberbully elsewhere?"

I basically said yes, I think they should. I've talked about bullying, and hate words, and fun stuff like that on this blog. I believe it is social responsibility; if you know someone is bullying, YOU need to step in and stop it. It's unacceptable. If the school knows, if the school provides the medium, they need to step in.

It was kind of cool to get to say that in a newspaper.

Then, I was in the newspaper again two weeks ago. It was the Real People column. I was asked about my life growing up, my life now, my goals, etc. It was pretty cool. It turned out that the woman interviewing me was a regular where I work.

Through an e-mail (because that's the easiest way to correspond with me), she said this:  For as young as you are you have certainly lived a lot of life and seemed to have survived a difficult upbringing to become a fine young woman.  My hat is off to you!

You can read that article, here.

One of my other regulars brought the paper in and asked me to sign it. Others commended me for what I said, and for turning out the way I have.


Just recently, I was a winner in the Tea Tag Contest from Good Earth Teas. (Thanks again for voting for those of you who did!). A reporter has been calling to ask some questions, so it looks like I'll be in the paper again. 

That's three articles in a four-ish month period. I kind of feel like a celebrity. 

Now, if only one of those articles could be about landing an agent, or you know, getting a book published :)

Reasons You Do Not Want Me As A Roommate

This is my "work station"

I am a severely flawed individual. But, I'm aware of these flaws. It's why I prefer to live alone, with my dog, and rock out to all sorts of Justin Beiber and Mandy Moore. I am not meant to cohabit with others, because I don't play well. With that said....

A Quick List of Reasons You Wouldn't Want Me as a Roommate

1) I'm messy.
I live under the Oh, I'll pick that up later, I'm just leaving it here for now, mentality. The truth is, once that shoe is there, I can trip over it fifty times, and STILL not pick it up. You can trip over it, too, yell at me, and I'll wave you off saying "Yea, I'll get it," and then take a nap instead. Because, well, it's more interesting. My car looks like a hurricane swept through. During my basement dwelling days, the four year old I was staying with looked straight at me and asked, "Lynne, why does your car smell bad?" Aren't four year olds supposed to...not notice bad smells?

2) My books are more important than you.

I've met three of these authors.

Oh, you want to look at my book? Cool, but don't leave finger prints and DO NOT under ANY circumstances bend the binding. If there is a mark, you're buying me a new book, (I'm not kidding. My sister had to do this because I FLIPPED out on her after reading A Walk to Remember) and if it's a signed copy you've just ruined, you're giving me your soul. Even Baxter knows to steer clear of my books.
There are a few you can handle, most of those are second hand, but even still, I am very protective. For the safety of you, your soul, and your wallet, you may want to...just look. Don't touch.

                                                                         3) I refuse to do my own dishes.

For a time, I figured that living on my own would change this fact, but it hasn't. In college, my roommates and I made a rule that if a boy were coming over he had to do the dishes before hanging out with us. Well, I live alone now, in the middle of nowhere. There is no one to do the dishes, and for that matter, my sister isn't hovering over me saying, "Those are your dishes!" So...yea. I hate dishes. I'd rather chew off my left arm than wash them. I think my sponge may be moldy, too.

4) What's that? Yea, I'm not listening.
I'm pretty self involved. Usually I'm working something out about my writing, or reading, or playing on twitter. The only times I really want to interact with you is so I can later use it in a novel. If that's not possible, then you're useless to me. BUT it is your job to sit there and listen to me while I read entire chapters of my WIP out loud. However, don't offer feedback because you don't read, PLUS you don't write...so anything you say will be incorrect. I know best, okay, thanks. Continue along.
Not only that, but I like to be by myself. I've spent the last two-three months living alone without a TV, and I've LOVED it. Now I'll have to go back to a roommate....and share space...and...mornings...and...space.

5) Do not touch or move my stuff.

Both of us will trip. One of us will move these things.
And that person better be me, not you.

I don't care if the strawberries in the fridge are moldy. They are mine, do not touch them. I don't care if you've tripped over my shoe, it's mine, do not move it. The only exception to this rule is if you're doing my dishes, or walking my dog. You can pet my dog, he likes to be pet. My books/shoes/clothes/everything else does not like to be moved. I turn into the Hulk if you touch my stuff. I rip my shirt off and everything. That whole invasion of personal bubble thing. You can trip, but do not touch.

6) Food and laundry detergent.
Food is sacred to a Schmidt. At our best, we are truly primal beings, living off beef flavored Ramen Noodles for survival. Probably because as children we were rarely fed and at least two of us developed eating disorders, but none the less, we guard it. Readily.
So if we treat ourselves to ice cream, or ginger ale, or beer, we become a wild bear, and those goodies are our offspring. If you come between us, you will get maimed. But if yours is left in the wilderness of the refrigerator, I will help myself when you're not looking. But don't you dare do it to me. I'm also not so good at sharing, so don't expect me to offer anything, either.
Then laundry detergent. Granted, if you leave yours in a communal area, I'll probably steal yours.I mean, why waste mine when yours is right there? But if I catch you using mine without permission, I will go nuts and start screaming. (And never admit that yes, yesterday yours was completely full and now it's down to half. Maybe it spilled?)

It's terrifying, isn't it?

7) I will tweet about everything.
If we have a fight, if your boyfriend comes over and starts screaming at you, if you leave dog poop on my porch step, if you come into my room completely naked, the entire world will know. It's the digital age, my friend. If you don't want everyone to know, don't be dumb. You're more than welcome to tweet about me, because I will tweet about you. And maybe even blog about you.

8) The monster isn't UNDER the bed. It's IN the bed.
I value sleep more than food, or laundry detergent, or you leaving my stuff alone. A boy once straddled me during a nap and tried waking me up, only to find a fist to his special places. I was too tired to be apologetic. I trained my dog by snaps and hand signals so that for the first half hour I'm awake, I don't have to say anything. So if you see a zombie stepping out of bed, it's best to pretend I'm a T-Rex. Stand still and I won't see you.

9) Passive aggression
I don't like confrontation. Maybe it's from growing up in an abusive household. Maybe it's because I'm an Adult Child, or maybe it's just because at heart I'm chicken sh*t. If you do something like steal laundry detergent, or break my toothbrush, I will leave a note saying something like, "Whoever did this, please replace." Clearly, if it wasn't me, and it wasn't Baxter, it was you. I know this, you know I know. But rather than confronting you about it, I'll just add to the tension.

10) Mental disorders.
Depression runs rampant in my family. Sure, I'm stable now, but there will be times where I'll swim out to the deep end and manage to bring you down, too. Not only that, but I'm 99% sure I have an undiagnosed and untreated bout of Borderline Personality Disorder, which causes self destructive behaviors, negativity, selfishness. Sometimes, when I'm not trying to get myself hurt or arrested, it can be fun. Most of the time....it's not.

I read all of these things to my sister, who I was forced to share a room with during our formative years. Then when we moved to North Carolina a couple of times. She further confirmed that I am a horrible roommate, and should live alone. I'm pretty sure I've opened some wounds she's forgotten about :)

What do you think?