Signs A Person Is Broke

In light of Baxter getting sick, and my current eye infection/almost blindness, my typically low funds have plummeted to couch digging to afford the raemen noodles. While I was at work today, Damien stopped in so he could pick up my eye drop prescription. I handed him my credit card and said, "This may get rejected, but still, try it first. If it does, here's my debit card."

After he left, I started thinking. Plus, you guys know how much I love making lists, SO, with no further rambling, here is a quick list of

Signs that a Person is Broke:

*They pay their bill with more than one form of payment
You know that person who says, "Okay, I'd like to pay $1.88 in cash, and then $2 on this card, and $15.78 on this card"? Well, chances are there's not much on either card. And the cash they're paying with was probably a loan from a friend or from returning bottles for five cents.

*Their items at the store consist of...
A bag of dog food. Only.

Yep. This was my car. On the way to work :)

*Gas Light
Yea...that's been on for the last twenty miles. I think I have another twenty in me.

*At the gas station, their car is sitting beside a gas pump.
While the owner is inside, crying, shaking a credit card in front of them.
Chances are this person could use some help. (Lord knows I've been this person and kind strangers have helped me get home!)

*Bills
Oh, that was supposed to be paid two weeks ago? And my car needs registered? And my licence, too? Yea..well...this 18 pack of beer is only $10.

*Bottle Return
In Michigan and Maine, there are lovely things called Bottle Deposits. In Maine you get at least five cents for just about any bottle you can find; water, soda, orange juice, etc. In Michigan, it's soda and beer. AND it's TEN cents! Poor people collect bottles from friends. Desperate people collect bottles from the trash.

From Baxter's yard sale. We raised almost $400!

*Yard Sales
Oh, this old thing? I've had it forever. (I bought it yesterday.) It was just collecting dust. (I really wanted it.) I never used it. (I used it every day.) Oh, you'll pay $2? (It's worth at least $70, but I'm desperate!)

*Neglecting Health
A lot of people aren't insured, which means when they get sick, they tough it out. They go into work hacking, get their fellow employees sick, and continue on. If their eye gets infected for over a month, they'll pass it off and say, "It'll heal." Or if they fall in a snowboarding accident and crack their head, they won't get their concussion looked at by a professional. 

So there you have it, a small list of things we broke people do. You can spot us a mile away. But just because we're broke doesn't mean we aren't working toward bigger and better things!

Pet Pet Peeves

So the other day just as I was getting ready to leave for work, Baxter decided it would be super cute if he ran off and tried to play with the dog next door. I had less than two minutes before I had to be on the road. I screamed at him to come back, went to go after him but the snow was real deep and I didn't want wet shoes for work, so instead, I stood there, fuming (flames were being thrown from my eyeballs in his general direction).

I came to the conclusion, "Sometimes, I wish he'd just get attacked so he'd learn his lesson."

With that said, because you all know how much I love lists, here is a list of pet-pet-peeves that I have. Those little things that pets (mine or yours) do that annoy the crap out of me, and make me consider dropping Bax off in a parking lot and running the other way. (Kidding...sort of.)

At least he's cute though :)

1) Hunting Season

Okay, this one isn't their fault. But, in the state of Maine, it's pretty prime to hunt, right? Well, they're kind of idiots here, and they like to shoot things; people, horses, deer, dogs...If it moves, they think it's worth shooting.

Come hunting season, you wear bright orange (or something bright) when you walk outside or down the street. Worried about Baxter tramping off in the woods, I found this bandanna and put it on him (because he's the size of a small pony).

Every time I let him outside, I held my breath, waiting for the day I heard a gun shot, and would have to go knife a hunter. (Thankfully, that never happened, though a few mornings, the shots were real close to the house.)

2) Counter or Table Top Loving Animals

My sisters and I raise our animals that they are NEVER, EVER allowed on the kitchen table or the counters.

Well where I'm living that doesn't seem to be a rule. (Than again, the poor cat is terrified of Bax and treed herself when we first moved in.) It's icky, and it just makes me think the animal is disrespectful.

3) Thinking They're Allowed Wherever

I tend to take for granted the fact that Baxter is a rockstar. If I have crap on the bed, he'll stand there and stare at me like, "I'm gonna need you to move that, k, thanks." He doesn't jump on strangers (that's not to say he doesn't rear up like a horse). If I'm sleeping he'll paw around, find my body, and very delicately step over/around me.

I forget not all dogs are like this. Some jump as soon as you walk through the door, some walk all over you as you sit on the couch. These dogs kind of make me want to punch them in the head.

Then, when I leave that place and go home to Baxter who wags his tail so hard I get bruises on my legs, I hug him super tight. (Best. Dog. Ever.)

4) No Pets Allowed

While you can have an awful pet who steps on me, chews on my hands, does whatever, nothing bugs me nearly as much as these signs. I loathe the fact that Baxter isn't allowed in stores (other than the lovely PetsMart), simply because he's amazing. And I feel like the public should get to meet him.

Although, the dogs who don't get along well with others.

Those ones should just stay home.

The Best of 2012

So it's almost 2013. Turns out, the world didn't end. Who knew? I'm completely unprepared now...

Good thing Baxter's always ready.

Anyways, it's been a busy year. I've told you guys a lot, I've written a lot, and I've read a lot. So with that said, here are my favorite posts that I wrote for you guys in 2012 in case you missed em:

1) Getting back up after an injury (in my case, a concussion)

2) The power of surrounding yourself with positive people

3) My naked 62 year old man-roommate

4) Why query writing is better than job applications

5) On setting an example

6) Lessons on living alone

7) My first public speaking engagement 

8) Never Surrender (the blog hop)

9) How I pick winners for blog contests :)

10) The time I fell in love in Seattle

11) The time I got lost, on foot, for two-three hours, in Seattle

12) Another round of public speaking

Stay tuned in 2013 for big news. And by that...I mean....you know, the same complaining about real life and trying to land an agent :)

Happy New Year!

How To Not Get Killed When Meeting People From The Internet

We're in a very digital age. People meet their spouses, people meet friends, people print pictures online. Personally, I get annoyed when people that I know from my real life ask me questions that I've clearly already covered in my blog or on twitter that day. I don't get why they don't just, you know, read about it.

But what happens when that Twitter friend becomes more than just an invisible sounding board online? What about when you want to meet them? Shake their hand? Get some coffee? Well, as much as I'd love to say GO, DO IT! (Because really, I love you guys, and 90% of you I really do want to meet. So if you're ever at the same conference as me, DO NOT hesitate to tweet me, and let's get coffee!)

Sadly, sometimes, that's not the best advice. But chances are, if you really want to do it, you'll do it anyway, so here are some tips I think you should employ if you're going to meet someone from the internet, so you avoid getting killed (sadly, kind of not kidding. A woman from my home state is currently missing after meeting an online date. Scary).

He may look cute and cuddly...
But he may try to eat your face off

1) Meet in a public place
There is nothing better than having a lot of witnesses. Meet in a mutually agreed upon place. You want it to be public because let's face it, you don't know if they're a murderer, and well, they don't know if you're a psycho. Witnesses put both parties at ease.

2) Tell people where you're going
If you're like me, you don't have a lot of family around. You're kind of the lone ranger, drifting from one creepy living environment to the next. But maybe you have employers you can tell. Let people know A) You're meeting someone from the internet and B) Where you'll be (maybe even C) What you're wearing that day)

3) Tweet, Facebook, Social media it
If you're meeting someone from Twitter, tag them. Say, "So excited to meet @ThePersonWhoMayLaterMurderMe at The Coffee Shop In The Center Of Town." You say these things publicly because well...if something does happen to you, people will be able to retrace your steps. It will be a starting point.

Notice the shoes...
Ready to run at any second

4) Wear comfortable shoes
Really, you don't know what you're walking into. You don't know if you'll need to have a quick get away. Wear comfortable shoes because stilettos don't exactly allow for a fast, easy, get away. Plus, it's hard to kick someone in the shin with high heels instead of boots.

5) Be conscientious of age
If you're under 18 and reading this post, I would strongly encourage you to NOT meet someone from the internet. If you really, really want to, maybe bring a parent or a trusted adult. But even then, consider why you're meeting this person. Are they the same age as you? Same gender? Do they play the same sports? But even still, maybe try to bring someone with you. Safety in numbers and all. I trust Twitter feeds more than Facebook because most people on Twitter want to vent about crappy roommates, or weird/funny things that happen. I LOVE my followers. I only friend people on Facebook who I actually know in real life (there is one exception to this and that's because she didn't have an author page to like).

6) Be conscientious of gender and sexual orientation
Personally, I wouldn't meet someone online who is a boy. Simply because he is a boy. I'm a straight female, and as such, I feel meeting a boy somewhere outside my element accomplishes nothing. Maybe if he's a writer, and he attends the same writing conference that I do, I'll maybe meet him for coffee or sit next to him in a panel. But otherwise, I'm more apt to try to meet other women because they seem less threatening to me. But, I could be wrong.

7) Trust your guts
People can warn you all they want that it may be a bad idea. If your instinct is telling you that it is, chances are you should bail out. If you're not comfortable saying "I don't want to meet you now because you asked me to send nudie pictures of myself" just say, "Sorry, this day won't work out." And leave it at that.

We live in a digital age, but we also live in a dangerous age. Even Cosmo has articles about women who get murdered by their boyfriends, by strangers, by friends. Don't let that happen to you. Play it smart, trust yourself, and tell people where you're going and when you'll be back so if something does go wrong (and I truly hope it doesn't) it'll be faster to find and try to rescue you.

With that said, stay tuned for Friday.

Where I met one of my Twitter friends in Boston.

The #NaNoWriMo Survival Kit

Oh, man. ARE YOU READY?

In case you're STILL not ready for National Novel Writing Month (#NaNoWriMo) here is a handy survival guide for those of you writing 50,000 words in 30 days.

The very first thing you need is:

Caffeine

It doesn't matter your source. Energy drink, frappe, coffee, tea, but I guarentee you'll need it. Why? Because when you're pulling all-nighters to meet your 2,500 words/day goal, or because you went outside and jumped in a pile of leaves and now you're behind, you'll need something to shock your system back into the OH-MAN-I'M-SO-AWAKE-I-CAN'T-SLEEP-MAY-AS-WELL-WRITE stage.


The second thing you'll need is:

Food

Gone are the days of lengthy prep, and fancy dinners with the family. These days you need food. And not just any food. For the next month, stock up on QUICK stuff; mac and cheese (if you're a cheese eater), raemen noodles, frozen pizza, those frozen meals that have noodles and stuff. Take in those preservatives, because let's face it, time is money. Become BFFs with the pizza delivery guy. That way there's no prep, and no wasted time using the microwave.

Your time should not be wasted on frivolous things like food and bathroom breaks. You've got a novel to write!

 The third thing you'll need is:

Ache relief

This one is for the hangover. Not the self induced, I had too many margaritas hangover, but rather the, I've been sitting on my ass for the last two weeks, in the same spot on the couch, and I think my tailbone may be broken from so much use, hangover.

Your eyes feel like they're bleeding yet? Is your monitor guest starring in your dreams yet? Keep these on hand. Pop as necessary.

The fourth thing you'll need is:

Distractions

You're only human. You can only stare at a blank screen for so long before you call it quits. It's okay to take some time away from writing. Go outside. Go play. Fifteen minute break.

Or, if needed 2-3 hour break so you can watch Hunger Games, and be re-inspired. I mean, this movie was based on a book! How badass!

Caution: These distractions should NOT be literary. Get away from words, and counts. Go for mindless. The Nintendo DS is excellent for this. As is Connect Four. And reality TV.

The fifth thing you'll need is:

A Plethora of Comfy Pants

Sweatpants, pajama pants, those pants that look like jeans but are actually something else. Maybe a snuggie and no pants? Choose. Maybe don a hoodie. Don't shower. Don't wash your hair. Make a cup of tea. Sit down. You'll be here for awhile.



The sixth thing you'll need is:

Support

Surround yourself with positive messages. Things people have given you that mean something. Remember, NaNoWriMo is fun, it's hard, and you're not alone.

In my stash is a bookmark my friend Claire bought me saying, Careful or you'll end up in my novel, a coffee mug my friend Liz sent me saying, Be Brave Enough to Break Your Own Heart, and a sign my friend Amanda made me saying, Quiet Please, Memoir Writing in Progress. DO NOT Disturb!

Trust me, those days will come where you stare at your screen, your wavering word count, and think I can't do this! Make sure you have supportive things to look at to push you on.

The seventh thing you'll need is:

Someone Who Thinks You're Friggin Great

It doesn't matter who it is; co worker, spouse, significant other, twitter friends, dog, but you need someone who will be your sounding board. Someone you can call and say, "I think I just killed my main character's best friend." Someone who knows you are crazy, and they'll still love you anyway. They know you hear voices. They want to hear them, too.

I called my friend, Peter, the other day (he's a boy, so when I need a guy's perspective, I call him and ask really weird *usually obscene  questions and call it research). He actually let me read pretty darn close to the first two chapters of my UNEDITED novel.

My poor sister has been getting several phone calls a day, with me saying, "Dude, listen to this!" She's helpful because she'll bounce back with, "I don't think this is possible yet because..."

Have people to talk to, people who understand how much this project means to you.

And last, and possibly most important. Number eight on the NaNoWriMo Survival Kit:

A Writing Space

Do you work best in the library? At a coffee shop? In a basement where you've pushed two large chairs together so it somewhat resembles a boat? (If you didn't catch it, that last one is my writing space :) ).

Pick your space. Pick your drink and your food. Go to your space, and shell out 50,000 words.

This is NaNoWriMo, you only have so many days till the end.

Game on. Don't quit. Don't edit. Just write.

Also, if you'd like to buddy me, HERE I am. And if you want it, HERE are some tips for speed writing :)

Happy NaNo!

Tingly Movies or Books

This week for the Express Yourself Meme is:

List the five books/movies that caused the hair to stand up on the back of your neck. This also works out, because I love lists :)

So here we go:

5) Paranormal Activity 1
Okay, in all fairness, this one wasn't so creepy. Until I got home that night, and there was an attic connected to my bedroom, and I was like "OMG, did the bedsheets just lift?"And then I curled into the fetal position, clutching my Eeyore. Not a pretty sight.

This is some terrifying stuff

4) Harrison Bergeron, by Kurt Vonnegut
Okay, so it's not a novel, but it's a short story that scared the crap out of me. It's a dystopian short story where everyone is average. Smart people have things in their ears to break off their thoughts. Athletic people are weighed down by sandbags so they're no faster or better than the people beside them.
And just as the uprising starts, it gets shot down.
This story ripped my heart out of my chest, and made me fall in love with Vonnegut's work.

3) Pet Cemetery 2
First off, the step dad killed the dog. And then there was the motorcycle scene? This movie still gives me nightmares, but really, as soon as an animal dies, I start crying.

2) Night of the Living Dummy, R.L. Stine
There is NOTHING more horrifying than an inanimate object coming to life. And when you're in middle school (or elementary), and a dummy starts torturing you...you know it's the end of the world. The Chucky movies rival this place, but either way, dummies and dolls scare me to death. Dummies and dolls and clowns. And then to have them trying to kill you? No way. No effing way. I never had dolls growing up because I was scared they'd cut me when I slept. I had stuffed animals, because if they were gonna come alive, they'd defend me, and if they tried to eat me, at least they'd be cute.

1) Paranormal Activity 2
This one made me about pee my pants. Where the first one wasn't so scary until you got home, this one made me TERRIFIED to go home. I literally shook for about two hours after the movie, went to my boyfriends house, where he (also scared crapless) stated, "We're watching a funny movie, and sleeping with the lights on. Whoever falls asleep first, wins." He fell asleep first. I was afraid to leave the bed and go to the bathroom.

The Amityville Horror, and Haunting in Connecticut are also great scary movies. The woman from the Haunting in Connecticut actually came to my school to talk about what actually happened. I still get goosebumps.

And if you're wondering, I haven't forgotten about the post from the race. I just haven't had time to upload the pictures and write about it yet. Should be up Friday!

ALSO--I saw that there is a blog hop, something like "Did I notice your novel" and I think it happens October 17th....Um...Does anyone know who is hosting that one? I can't seem to find it again....(My bad)

Unhealthy Relationships

"You're being a fucking cunt."

Yep. You read that right. (Sorry I'm not adhering to my PG-13 status right now). But that quote is what I woke up to at 8:00am. I heard it through my ceiling in the basement. I also heard a million f-bombs, and screaming. Lots of screaming. Though I heard her voice a few times, it was mostly his, yelling f-bombs, calling her the b or c word, and it was just awful. All around.

I ventured upstairs since sleep was no longer an option, got a bowl from the cabinet  and poured some Lucky Charms cereal (because I'm five like that). Then the dude (now standing in the kitchen, too) screamed, "I'm not the one being f@#$ing inconsiderate!"

And because I'm me, I couldn't help it. As I poured the milk in the bowl, I said (not in an angry voice), "Actually, you are being inconsiderate. There were still people sleeping."

He proceeded to redirect his anger at me, and tell me to shut my f#$ing mouth. Then my older roommate (the girl's aunt) also told me to shut my f#$^ing mouth, and that I don't think of anyone else. Um. Right. Then about fifteen minutes later, she asked me for dishsoap...which I got, pissily. 

Moral of this story is, yet again, I cannot cohabitate with people and it brings us to another list.

Signs that You May Be in an Unhealthy Relationship

5) They don't support your dreams.

If you want to be an astronaut, and they buy you a cowboy hat for Christmas, things may be in the fritz. 

On my 16th birthday, the boy (who you'll read about in #1) I was dating made me breakfast in bed, and then gave me presents. There was a large pack of pretty metallic colored gel pens. 

"I saw you were running low," he said, like he wasn't sure I'd love them.

I was speechless. He knew me. He got me. He supported my journaling, my writing. Me.

He also wrote, but he was terrified to speak or read in public. By the end of our relationship, I was in attendance when he decided to read at an open-mic night. Even though he barely spoke loud enough to be heard through the microphone, I'd never been so proud in all my life.

 

Recently, I was talking to a boy (who'd been asking me out), and I mentioned being in the newspaper. I told him, "You should be impressed, I'm a pretty big deal."

And he laughed. It didn't feel like he was laughing with me.

If you think you're a pretty big deal, your SO should think you're a pretty big deal, too. Because you are :)

If this was in real time,
it woulda hurt

4) You are genuinely afraid they'll hurt you

Safety is a huge thing in a relationship. Maybe you want to reproduce with this person. Maybe you want to adopt. Maybe you want to know that when you come home there won't be knife marks in the couch and your tires won't be slashed in the driveway. If you start to feel afraid of your partner, chances are you should trust your gut instinct and bail out. 

3) Dominance

People like to say, "We can see who wears the pants in that relationship," like it's a bad thing. And it can be, if the same person is always wearing the pants. The pants should be traded back and forth. There should be an equal amount of give and take. If one makes the dinner, maybe the other does the dishes. If one does the laundry, maybe the other gets to pick the movie. If one wants to go to a club, and the other HATES clubs, maybe make a trade. Next time you'll do something you don't like because they like it. 

You don't own someone in a relationship. It's not meant to be my way or the highway. Talk things out, build a life with each other. Come to an even playing field.

2) They don't realize they've hurt you

"Hey, hey, look!" From the driver's seat, I reached behind me, and pulled out a pink covered book. My Friend Leonard, by James Frey. I'd been gushing about it for weeks, and I'd finally gotten it back in the mail. That day!

My boyfriend, in the passenger seat looked at the cover, put the book back in the backseat, and said, "Cool."

He didn't open the cover to see the signature, and the kind words James had written. He didn't act excited that I'd been checking my mailbox religiously to see if the book had come. I was crushed. I almost started crying at the steering wheel. I'd told him about that book and what it meant to me a million times. It's okay if he didn't remember why the book was so important to me, but it wasn't okay that he didn't ask why I was so excited. 

He didn't even notice I was upset.

If people love you, they'll want to know why you're happy, know why you're sad. They want to celebrate with you, they want to help pull you out of the gutter. So if they're not asking why you're beaming and throwing a book in their lap, you may want to look into why they aren't.

1) Fights.

"Maybe if you hadn't been born your father wouldn't have left."

Yep. I said that. In high school. To the boy I was head over heels in love with. And after the words fell out of my mouth, I stood there, hand over lips, with a look of shock on my face.

Sometimes fighting is fun.
Sometimes it's not.

I couldn't believe I'd just said that. It was the most hurtful thing I'd ever said....to anyone. And I said it to the boy I loved! I knew I'd hurt him (and I'd like to think I apologized, but I'm not 100% sure I did....because it was high school and it was my way or the highway).

There are constructive ways to fight, and non constructive ways to fight. If you're feeling belittled or attacked, chances are it's not constructive fighting. Once the name calling barrier is broken, the relationship is usually gone. If you're sitting there crying (like my neighbor used to do when her boyfriend insulted her and called her worthless/an idiot/etc), chances are, it's not good fighting.

Remember, if you love someone, you still want to protect them. Calling them names does NOT help put the fight into remission. Making someone cry harder doesn't help, either. Neither is helping reach the goal of the end of the fight. It's escalating it. 

Also how often are you fighting? What are you fighting about? Fighting is a normal part of a relationship, but if it's happening every day, chances are there is a serious problem that's not being addressed. If you're just trying to hurt each other, that's not a good thing.

Moral of this post is if you're being treated poorly, please remember that you deserve better. You should never tolerate being called names, being yelled at until you cry, or people saying you'll never reach your dreams. 

Keep your head up. Happy Monday.

Things That Stop You

In a follow up to my previous blog, and in concert with the fact I seriously like to make lists for blog posts, here's another one.

It turns out I'm masochistic. Who knew? Okay, okay, I've known since I was in sixth grade...but really. Those of us who write set ourselves up for rejection, tears, and straight up heart break. So it only makes sense that I'd be a runner, too. Why? Because it hurts, because you run through pain, finish races sometimes crying (or if you were me in high school, with your lip bleeding because that's how you redirected pain...). But because I like pain, I run, and I write, and I submit, and compete, and...cry.

But that doesn't mean it's easy...ever.

Let's see.

The Top 5 Things That Stop You (From Being Epic)

5) Time

It's easy to forget to run. You wake up, make breakfast, (consider showering..) go to work, work an eight hour shift (eight and a half because you have to clock out for lunch if you're anything like me), drive 10-20 minutes home, do laundry, feed the dog (or the kids if you have them), feed yourself. By that point, maybe your knees hurt from standing. Maybe your back hurts from sitting. Running fades somewhere into the background. Plus, it's dark outside. Horror movies start this way. That mailbox sure looks cute and innocent in the daylight, but at night? That mailbox hosts demons, and ghosts, and OH MY GOSH WHAT WAS THAT? DID SOMETHING JUST MOVE? 

You literally have to go out of your way to run. You literally have to put time in, and make it a priority. Something else (like, oh...writing) gets cut out when you spend a half hour on the road.

4) Running Trails

At the old place, I lived in an awesome running area. If you went right out of the apartment complex, about a half mile later there were trails. If you went left, and left again, there was this place called Evan's Notch, which was beside a river. Very scenic. If you just went left, you cross a bridge, and run. Then, you could go straight, more bridges, more roads. It was full of options.

Where I live now, I can go right, which has a small road that usually eats up about five minutes of the run and has a LARGE and LENGTHY hill, and then a straight road. 

I can go left, which has a smaller hill (as you end), and I recently discovered a magical trail. But still, it's the same two roads over, and over, and over. Ever listen to a song on repeat? Ever just need to...stop listening to it?

3) The Lone Ranger

Running, like writing, is a solitary sport. Sure you can be on the track and field team, or the cross country team, but in the end YOUR times depend on YOU. Which means that if you're not part of a running club, or a team, you have to push yourself. You have to give yourself a reason to run. 

Half the time you won't be as fast as you'd like. Most of the time there is something better to do (see napping above). It's hard being your own motivation. 

2) It Hurts

Knee pain, hip pain, cramps, shin splits, twisted ankles, stress fractures, toenails that fall off... Talk to any runner and you'll hear an endless list of ailments that we run through. When I ran in high school after my first knee surgery, I made a deal with my body; If my knees made it through the race, I'd ice them later. Literally as I crossed the finish line, they gave out, and I couldn't get up. Teammates, sisters, or the boy I loved had to help me up and act as a leaning post until I could walk again.
A good run is considered a day where the pain is minimal, if not absent...but even still if we're not hydrated well enough, if we didn't eat enough...it hurts, and it hurts a lot. And we'll keep going.

1) Yourself

Let's face it, we all want to come in first place. Personally, I want to be fast enough to beat my sister again, who when she'd popped out her first kiddo, and while she was preggers with the second managed to run in the 19 minutes. (She is Iron Man.)

But I am Lynn(e). I've had two knee surgeries. I have hip problems. Sometimes my heart messes up. 

There's a point where you run, and you run, and you think, Why am I doing this? There's a point where your brain will think, You know, three miles is pretty far. Let's just...do one. Or none. You know, let's nap. Screw running. 

And naps? Well, they rock. But the biggest obsticle is the block in your head that tells your you're not good enough so why bother trying.

Good runners fight that, waving a middle finger in the air saying, I don't care what you think Negative Nancy in my brain. I'm going to run because I love it, and I want to, and because it makes me feel good.

Most of this can tie into writing. We have to section time to write, and things (like children, husbands, wives, dogs, running) gets neglected. The Running Trails can be considered writing block, where you have to just step out, and find something new, some fresh material before you can start up again. We all know writing is a solitary game (hopefully most of you aren't Emily Dickinson-ing it up). And the rejections hurt. The death, and pain, and injuries of our characters hurt. Memoirs tend to hurt even more than that.

And we all try to sabotage ourselves, our works by saying that we aren't good enough.

So just as I told you to go Pick a Puppy, today's message is to Keep Running. Push through the pain, the self defeat. Find time. Keep going.

The finish line may only be a 5K away.

Things I Won't Miss

I'ts official. I'm moving.

By the end of today, I'll be in the new place. But each box I carry to the car, and each air mattress I deflate reminds me that there are things I will miss about this place...

And then things I won't. At all. With that said (because I like lists, and they're easy to make when you're short on time)...

Things I Won't Miss About this Apartment

It is pretty, at least...

10) The 45 minute to 1 hour drive
Sure, it was scenic. But when I had to make stops, or get stuck in traffic, especially at night, the drive felt like the trek from North Carolina to Maine. I'd be tired, and cranky, and STILL have to let Baxter out. Speaking of Baxter, if I was working an eight hour shift, he'd be alone for about ten hours a day, making me feel like the worst pet parent in the world.
The new place is about ten miles from work. Not forty. It'll be swell to not pay an additional $80 in gas a month.

9) Stumbling in after a long day
As an environmentalist, I don't like to leave lights on or things plugged in. Therefore, when I came home from work, I'd instinctively open the door and flip the light switch to have...nothing. Right, there's no light when you just walk in. Then I'd us my phone, trip over shoes, Baxter's food bowls, and make my way to the living room light switch. It took a lot of skill not to fall to my death. It'll be nice to come home and have a light that works.

8) Bedroom Lights
Speaking of poor lighting. When I came to look at the apartment, it was daylight. No real need to test the lights, right? It wasn't until my first night here I realized my bedroom has no light. It has a switch, but no light. I've lived here since May telling myself that this fact is charming, and that at some point I'd buy a lamp. Well, I never did. Really, it's not charming. If I needed anything from my room I'd have to rely on my phone to guide me, most times saying screw it and waiting until morning. I also couldn't ever read in bed, which I also found lame.
It'll be lovely to have light in my bedroom again.

I had my car in this for perspective

7) Traffic and Trains
My apartment is the closest to the road and subsequent railroad tracks. Every night around 11:30pm, the train goes by. It shakes the foundation of the complex. Plus, each time the train whistles, you can't hear yourself think. Because I'm irrational sometimes, I'd imagine being murdered, and no one being able to hear me scream (yes, that loud). Each night I had an anxiety attack.
The same goes for traffic. Each car that passed shook the place. Each semi-truck was awful. The first few nights meant minimal sleep. Now, I think I could sleep through a hurricane, so it's not all bad.

6) Air mattresses 
::Sigh:: as much as I loved them, I deflated the first one a couple of days ago. The second will be deflated around noon today. I've slept on air mattresses for the last three months (almost four months). Before that, in North Carolina, I rocked them as well. They make a good emergency bed for a girl who doesn't own real furniture, but it gets old after awhile.
The new place has a bed. An actual box spring. It'll be nice to be human again.

5) Blinds on the windows.

The following three windows are blind-less: living room, bathroom, bedroom. About a month ago it was rumored we had a peeping tom, and I don't like to wear shirts. (I prefer just lounging in sports bras, I mean, who do I have to impress?) Well, the lack of blinds put a damper on that fun. Plus, when the neighbors started going crazy, you could see right in to everything I did/do.
It'll be nice to have privacy again.



4) Sans Microwave
I haven't been able to use a microwave since my basement dwelling days. Which means everything I've eaten was made in a blender, toaster, oven, or just eaten right outta the fridge. I got pretty creative with some stuff, but when you just wanted to nuke something for thirty seconds, and instead would have to wait 23 minutes, it was kind of lame. PLUS, I've had boxed popcorn I haven't been able to eat all this time.

3) Television
The Olympics. Every four years since I was a tyke, I'd sit in front of the TV and watch the gymnasts soar, and fly, and twirl their bodies. Well, this year, I didn't get to enjoy ANY of it. It's the first time I never even got to catch a glimpse of the track and field events, swimming...nothing. Usually I relish being without a TV, but sometimes, it'd be nice to watch a movie, you know?

2) The neighbors fighting
I'm sure you've seen me blog or tweet about this. The walls between complexes are paper thin. The guy next door is angry, and he'd yell at his ten years younger girlfriend, and make her cry, and she'd scream back, and it was just not cool. I don't like fighting. Especially when the guy sounds that angry.

1) The neighbors. Period.
I won't miss being afraid to come home, or fearing that my dog may be dead when I returned. Granted, in recent days things seem to have quieted, but if anyone was on the porch, I'd cringe. I won't miss worrying that they've done something to my car, put dog crap on my steps, etc.

While I'm going to have a roommate at the new place, and I'm back to basement dwelling, I'll be saving money for my next move. Baxter will have an adorable playmate. But the good things about the new place will be a list for another post, just as the things I'll miss from this apartment will be another post.

Hope ya'll have a good weekend. The new place doesn't have internet set up yet, so I'll be back ASAP.