Goodbyes

The hardest thing in my life is saying goodbye to people. I never used to have a problem with it until my friends started dying; cancer, car accidents...etc. It was then that I started learning how fragile we are, how when we say goodbye, it might really be the last time.

Now, when a visit is short, it's much easier to say goodbye. But when I spend nearly a week with people, I fall in love; with them, with the place, with their family, with...happiness. When you visit a place where you're loved, there is nothing, NOTHING like it. People are constantly happy to see you, to play with you, to watch a movie, to just be there.

But soon, too soon, you have to leave. There's a second where we hug, and it's like every fiber of my being latches on to them, tries to tie me to them, and when we separate, it's like being cut by glass. It hurts, I want it to stop, but it has to keep going.

This is an awful photo, sorry. But this was me saying goodbye yesterday. I love these people.

I put a lot of these situations in my novels because I experience them regularly. Each one hurts, it doesn't matter if it's the same person I'm leaving over and over and over, it still hurts each time I say goodbye. When I was younger, I never experienced this. I never experienced happiness, love. Now that I'm old enough to understand and appreciate these things....

I hate goodbyes.
I love hellos.