Meeting Claire

I met Claire Downs, the main character of After Elizabeth, in North Carolina, just before I went crazy (possibly while I was going crazy).

I've always been fascinated with smokers, especially because there are so many song lyrics about them. (On my iTunes, I actually have a cigarette playlist made up.) It's strange because I grew up loathing when my parents smoked, riding like a dog with my head out the window of the car, or leaving the room when they lit up in my presence. It's gotten to the point, when I visit Michigan, my mother knows better than to try to smoke with me in the car or in her house. Personally, I don't smoke...but I do have three unopened packs of cigarettes in the dashboard of my car in case I ever decide to take up the habit.

Yep, had these since North Carolina.
Smoking is gross.

Either way, one day I was sitting there, thinking about how strange it would be to see a girl in a neon pink sports bra running and smoking a cigarette. I started writing about Claire before she even had a name. Instead of being a girl as I wrote, I was a boy checking out a decently hot chick. I remember sitting on the couch and reading aloud to the people I considered friends (like I said, I went crazy), and they agreed that this girl sounded hardcore. I saved the document, and went to sleep with a massive erection. Wait, in real life I'm a girl...and I like boys. Okay, whew.

In the morning, when I checked my computer, the document was gone, and the page worth of stuff I'd written disappeared with it. But the memory of this girl never left me. I didn't care if what I'd written was saved. I just knew she existed, and I loved her, though now, she may never resurface.

Fast forward about six months. My Sister's Memories is on submission, and getting page and manuscript requests (cool! My query letter doesn't suck!). Sadly, each and every one gets rejected (sadface, my writing does). I tell myself that I'm not going to write another novel until My Sister's Memories, Character Defects, Igniting a Firestarter, and my memoir go through a hard round of editing. I only end up editing My Sister's Memories and receive more rejections, some with feedback, and for the first time, I start to hope...maybe...maybe...I have something worthwhile here.

In the meantime, I work my day job and get invited to a middle school to speak. One Wednesday morning, I drive to Fryeburg and talk to kids who ask me about cutting, depression, and coping mechanisms. I am humbled and awestruck with every single student I meet. We take pictures together, I offer candy, and I come back the next week. And the week after that.

They refuse to leave my head. The girl who smokes refuses to leave my head.

My sister and I
Her approval of my writing means a lot to me :)

On May 29, 2012, I sit down at my computer, and see a girl typing with a friend the way Kellie and I used to. I see a girl read a message that says something like, I'm sorry, I can't handle this, the same message I'd received when a good friend tried to kill himself a thousand miles away from me. And then, for the first time since I'd written about a girl smoking a cigarette and running, I saw Claire Downs emerge in the aftermath of her best friend killing herself.

And today (though I'm scheduling this post for tomorrow) on June 19, 2012, I am excited to tell you that After Elizabeth is complete. Even better? Armed with the critiques that I'd received from agents and Callie Kingston, though I wrote quickly, I wrote with showing in mind. When I read the ending to my sister, for the first time she said, "Yea, I can see everything you've just read, it was well written."

For the first time in my writing career, I'm proud of a rough draft, mainly because my sister didn't tell me that it sucked. Although she did tell me she had a beef with my ending. (Psshh, whatever.)

Now I step away for about a week, play, drink, and have fun.

Next week, the real work begins.

Show and Tell II

A million years ago, I posted about Showing vs. Telling. Consider this segment two.

In early February, Callie Kingston made a call for beta readers, and like a hungry lion, I latched on. Thus far, it has been the best writing step I've taken (aside from, you know, getting a Twitter account). When she sent me her first two chapters of critiques on My Sister's Memories, I sat there cringing. You should back down now, she's tearing your crap apart. As I looked at my computer screen, I realized that I needed to step up my game; not only with writing, but also with editing.

This is my "Oh crap, she might know more than I do face"
Worst. Picture. Ever. I hope you got a good laugh :)

While I had those You don't know what you're talking about, don't reject my writing moments (in private! Never to her e-mail face!), I took time away, came back to them, and found that most of the time, what she said was sadly correct. This gave me a profound respect for her, because she wasn't afraid of telling me what sounded weak, and it was what I needed to hear, even if I needed a shot of whiskey afterward.

One of the things she told me was the use of words like, "I saw," "I felt," "I wondered". She taught me ways to manipulate my sentences from telling you that I just saw my dog run across the street, to having my dog just run across the street. (Can you see the difference?)

Let me break it down for you a little more.

If you're writing in first person, you ARE the character. Which means (from my understanding) any time you're saying "I think, I feel, I see," it causes detachment. Try this instead:

Find the points where you use those statements. Delete them. Look at the sentence you have left. Does it still make sense? Chances are, it probably will, and now you're much closer to showing me something, rather than telling me.

I went through My Sister's Memories today and used the FIND tool to search the word "feel". Each sentence I deleted that stupid word (well, most sentences, not all), and replaced it with something better. "I feel his hand brush against my cheek," became, "His hand brushed against my cheek." It's an easy fix and you'd be amazed by how much stronger the writing sounds because you're just allowing things to flow  naturally. You're allowing the reader to be right there, getting goosebumps as his lips graze the soft spot on her shoulder...rather that just telling them what she's feeling.

Just thought I'd pass along some kick ass advice. Hope this helps.

Communication

When you have Beta readers, or, if you are a Beta reader, I think it's incredibly important to communicate. Not just to say, "Hey, this is what I'd like out of your comments," but to also say, "Hey, I'm really busy right now. I'll do my best, but...I'll be lagging."

I have a few people I'm reading for that in the last month they've gotten all of a chapter out of me. When I have time, I'm known to hit a chapter a night. But...things get in the way. So, as soon as I saw my plate start piling up, I sent the e-mail apologizing, and telling them my responses/my reading will be incredibly slow. Most of them said it was okay, so that was nice.

How have you guys been? Are you ready for March yet? I am.

Also, did anyone check into Amazon's Breakthrough Novel Award? You may see a familiar name there for round two :)

Critique Groups

Firstly, I'd like to apologize about falling off the face of the earth this week. At Sunday River it was Kid's Week, which meant that I was and am one exhausted instructor. (But, it was an amazing experience, and my kiddos were awesome, so it was totally worth it)

I'm going to need this many energy drinks tomorrow to function like a human being...

Now for the post. I had an interesting learning experience this week, and thankfully, it was writing related...

About a month ago, I'd joined a critique group. We kind of all stumbled through how we wanted to set things up, corresponded through e-mails, and swapped about a chapter a week (or...whatever we could get done, whenever we could get it done).

Round one, I was a bit apprehensive. The person 'in charge' of the group sent me his work, and it was a LOT of telling rather than showing. I wasn't being drawn in, at all. I went through, did some line edits, highlighted paragraphs, said "You're telling me, bring me in..." etc. I tried really, really hard to find tactful ways to tear his work apart.

And then I get his edits back. It was about two-three sentences of 'I really like the plot set up here, I only have one suggestion'. I balked. There were no line edits, no "I'm lost here" "Strengthen this section". Nothing. Just two or three sentences that didn't really say anything. I had worked sooo hard on his story. And what did I get in return? Two sentences? Really, man??

Still, we continued along, I found myself repeating my edits over and over, as though he wasn't forward editing, as though...he wasn't trying. I'd work really hard on his, I'd get back three-four sentences.

This last round, he sent his work (another paragraph), and I sent mine, which started doing line edits, but (after a really long day with a million kids) I had to stop. I could no longer continue reading his story. I finished reading (no longer line editing), and did what he'd been sending to me, thinking it'd be okay, "There's still a lot of telling here, it's really hard for me to get through this because as a reader, I'm not being drawn in, at all."

The following day, I received and e-mail ending our correspondence.

I was a little sad, but after I stepped away from it for a second, I was really okay with it. Why? Because I hadn't getting the feedback from him that I'd hoped for. I was looking for more in-depth criticism than he was willing to offer, and I feel that he, too, may have been looking for something else out of the group, out of me.

The truth:
You're allowed to be in more than one group. You'll find people you like, and people you don't. The good news is, with mine I was still able to secure a reader, whose novel seems fantastic thus far, and also gives amazing feedback, so, I'm incredibly grateful for that. She's not afraid to tell me something is weak, what needs work, where I'm losing her.


So, my advice for the day:
Be aware of what you want out of critique groups. Do you really want people to tell you what they think, or are you just trying to see if your story makes sense? If you're not getting what you want, find a new group.

Reading Critiques

"I think this sentence could be stronger if...."

"Awkward sentence...."

"I don't get what you're saying here...."

This is the look I tend to give the computer as I read critiques

I have a moment when I read what my critique-ers wrote and say, "Psshh, that sentence is fine, you don't know what you're talking about." I will actually start talking to my screen sometimes (which I did in front of a friend the other day, oops!) and say why what I wrote is fine, and why what my beta reader is saying is crap. And it's for this reason, and this reason alone, that when I get my edits back from people I read through them...don't make any changes, make the face you see above, and close the browser.


Honestly, I think we're all entitled to this. I think it's okay to defend your work, your writing, and get mad at the edits people give you. But give it time, go back to it.


For me, it's usually two days later. I re-read what I've written, and then with a face more like this:

A little more submissive...

I open the edits, and with a little less confidence and a little more openness, I read what they wrote, and find that 8 times out of 10....they're right. That sentence DOESN'T make sense. I DID use Barley instead of Barely. Oh...and I did forget that I mislabeled a chapter/changed a character name except in that one spot...etc. Once I start opening to that, I open myself to scenes I should have added in, things that I can clarify. This is why we need people to read our work, and why we need to be willing to change things.


As writers, we're protective of our work, and we should be. We've put in a lot of time and effort for those sentences. But, at the same time, step outside of yourself; sometimes outsiders (especially when they're readers) are able to see things that you can't because you're too involved. I know I'm guilty of this. Are you, too?

Change of Dialogue, New Paragraph

Okay, so I might be wrong about this. But, I also may not be.

I've been Beta Reading the last few weeks for about three people. Most have been stellar accounts, and small things to fix here and there, or me just adding suggestions or clever remarks like "Ohhh, I hope these two fall in love!" (Because I'm a nerdy romantic like that. And hey, a girl with commitment issues can still root for cute romances.)

But...the one that has come up in all three:

Change of dialogue, new paragraph.

What does this mean? (If you already know what this means, scroll down to the cute picture, because I haven't posted one recently.)

This means:
James said, "No, I don't want to date you. I'd rather vomit on your face." Change of dialogue, new paragraph. Sarah stepped back, "But James, I thought you loved me."

This is incorrect, my friends. Why? Because Sarah is not James. She is a different person.  So, this is how that should look:
James said, "No, I don't want to date you. I'd rather vomit on your face." 
Sarah stepped back, "But James, I thought you loved me." 

There are some instances where I'm not completely sure where the paragraph break is. In example, when one person talks, another reacts, but the first person continues talking. Most times, I still have that in the same paragraph. (It's one of those you have to be careful and gauge types of things. If all else fails, consult other writers/blogs, etc)  But as soon as the second person talks, new paragraph. Every time there is a new person talking, IT'S A NEW PARAGRAPH.

K?
Thanks.

And a cute picture for you:

I went to go to sleep one night, and found this monster on my pillow. Adorable, no?