Breaking Points

Last August I went to Seattle to attend PNWA, and it was one of the highlights of my life. Every day at the conference was amazing, my friend who housed me, rocked.

Daylight in Seattle...no rain, just sun

But the second morning there, Jen walked me to the bus stop and asked if I'd be okay getting home that night because she would be at a friend's function. "Yep!" I said with full confidence, "I'll be fine!" (Famous last words, right?)

The panels were great, and dinner was yummy, but a full day of sessions started wearing on me, and I felt the way I do when I stay up writing til 3am and just need to sleep. Right now. I texted Jen to tell her I was on my way home and walked out of the keynote speaker I'd been waiting for.

When I got off the bus, it was about 9pm. It was dark. When I'd walked here this morning, it was bright enough to merit sunglasses. Now in the darkness, nothing looked familiar, and so I had to trust my instincts. (For those of you who don't know me, my instincts are wrong, 99% of the time....thus begins our story.)

I took a left, and started walking on what I thought was a somewhat familiar bike path. Jen said she was still with some friends, and I told her I thought I knew where I was going. Then came a fork in the path. I didn't recognize it at all. I looked left, didn't recognize the walk. I looked right, and nothing looked right, either. I started walking anyway.

Then my phone beeped to tell me my battery was dying. Time was rapidly becoming a factor. I needed to get home, now.

It gets so dark there!

I walked, and walked. Each step caused my one strap messenger bag to weigh more and more. I constantly transferred the bag from one shoulder to the other in the hopes I'd even out the back pain, but it didn't work.  It was the first time I asked myself, Why the hell did I buy so many books today?

I continued on the path. Everything was looking more and more foreign. I started questioning if I'd even gotten off at the correct bus stop. I called Jen when I reached a sign that mentioned some sort of a park. "I don't recognize that name at all," she told me. A sinking feeling took hold, but I refused to cry.  I can do this, I just have to keep walking.

She suggested getting off the path and walking on the road so I could at least read road signs. My battery light flashed at me, time was running out. "I'll try to start looking for you," she said, and gave up going to her friend's function because I was an idiot and bad with directions.

The high heels I'd been wearing
(Don't worry, I was wearing
dress clothes for the conference)

I got off the bike path and onto the road, and called Patrick who was in California at the time. Whenever I've been in a jam, or gotten lost before, he'd always bailed me out. He said he'd map quest me some directions, and there was a ray of hope.

I took off my high heels and we found a cross intersection. My heels now felt like a pummeled pumpkin, but I continued on after he told me which way to go.  Low and behold, the next street sign matched up to what he was seeing. He'd found me!

It was so dark outside and lamposts were few and far between. The neighborhood looked like I was going to get jumped at any time. Because I'm a writer, I imagined every worst case scenario possible, but reassured myself that it would make for a good memoir.

"I don't get it," Patrick said. "The road you're looking for should be right there."

"There's just what looks like an elementary school!" I cried into the phone. Just as Jen's phone number flashed across my screen, my phone gave one last valiant vibration and went black. I was cut off from the world.

Now, completely alone, and walking in the wrong direction, I checked my watch. It was 11:30pm, I'd been walking for 2.5 hours. I was lost, cranky, tired, and sore. My arthritic knees hated me and begged to stop moving. They were ready to give out at any moment, and so walking was rapidly becoming a factor now. I wanted to cuddle Baxter, to be home, to be at Jen's and drink some soy milk. Instead, I continued walking the same stupid streets I'd passed sixteen other times.

I passed an older looking man, dressed completely in black in this ghetto neighborhood, and asked, "Do you know where (name a street) is?" He pointed in the direction I'd just come from, "Are you walking honey?" Me, "Yes." "It's about ten blocks that way. About two miles...." he looked apologetic, and I wanted to scream.

Please no, I prayed. Please just let me be home. 

Jen, my lovely host, and wonderful friend

Instead, when the man was out of sight, I sat on the curb and cried. I stopped caring if I was going to get raped or murdered. I didn't care if I got shot. I was lost, Jen would never be able to find me. And the worst part was that I was going to miss the rest of the conference.

I'd reached the breaking point.

Out of some run down driveway, a small pure white cat emerged and crawled onto my lap. It wasn't Baxter, but I still spoke to it anyway. "Hello little friend," I sobbed. "I'm so lost, and I don't know where I am, and I hate this stupid city and buses." I whined to the cat for a long while while my aching feet and knees rested. Finally, I told my small friend I had to leave, and that I couldn't take it home, and resumed walking, taking sketchy streets with bars on windows, and found an open door.

Still hysterical, I stumbled in and rambled, "I'm lost, and I don't know where I'm going, and my phone died..."

The man behind the counter looked at me, and said, "Ma'am, I can't understand you. Take a seat, calm down, and we'll try to help you."

I sat in a seat, and cried more. An old man who smelled like he hadn't showered for the last few years sat beside me and asked, "You lost little girl?" and I cried harder and nodded my head. When the tears started to subside and I could breathe again, I looked around me. The man appeared to be missing some teeth and I wasn't sure that you could even consider what he was wearing to be clothing anymore. Meanwhile I was in a new dress I'd bought the day I'd arrived, and my new shoes. I'd even gotten ambitious and put make up on, which was now probably smeared all over my face.

To my right was what resembled a soup kitchen or pantry, at least the way they look on TV shows. To the left were stairs and empty chairs.

I'm in a shelter, I concluded.

Finally, I approached the desk, and explained the situation. They asked me if I knew of anywhere, and I didn't. Did I know Jen's phone number? No, and my phone was dead. Was I alone and on foot? Yes. Did you know it's not safe for a girl to be lost around here? I had a feeling, which has been solidified, thank you.

It took me a solid five minutes before I could even remember the name of the road where Jen lived. They informed me that I was on the other side of town, and the bus stop where I'd been dropped off at has a split where the roads all match each other. I should have crossed the road to get on the other bike path.

Just as I'd started to cry again, one of the men offered to give me a ride. Because I was still in the mindset of not caring whether or not I died, I took a risk and got in his small car.

Soon enough, I got to Jen's found the spare key, and went in. I dug out my phone charger, and called her to tell her to come home, I was safe. It was now after midnight. I called Patrick, who had left me several worried voicemails, and let him know I was alive.

When Jen came into the apartment, we both burst into tears and hugged. "I'm so glad you're safe!" she told me.

Eventually, I was reunited with my little man :)

So, why am I telling this story?

Because, this kind of thing happens to me a lot. That moment where you reach the breaking point and have to live in a friend's basement because you got fucked over on your living situation, or getting lost in Seattle, on foot, with no cell phone.

Submissions are a lot like this. Query letters, partial requests. All of those things are like this. We get rejected. We all reach the point where we sit on the curb and cry, and are completely ready to get shot in the face and die. (A little dramatic, but you know what I mean :) ). But then there's a little white kitten who crawls into our laps and whispers, Keep writing, keep editing, keep going. And so we get up, brush ourselves off, and stumble into something we never knew existed.

I believe that things work out. I also believe that things can get hard beyond belief. But if you reach your breaking point, keep pushing. You may still make it home.

The Idea Behind Querying

Being in the agent game is hard work, no? The query letter takes a million drafts, the query specific query letter takes even more. But there are reasons why this is done:

1) You know how you say, "My novel is complete at x-amount of words"?
2) You know how you say, "This is the genre of my novel"?
3) You know how you say, "This is a simultaneous submission"?
4) You know how you wrote a million drafts and edited the heck out of your novel?

We do these things, we write these things, so when an agent says, "Please send me fifty pages," or "Please send me your entire manuscript," you can push, "Upload Document" without flinching, or without having to go through and edit your 200+ page novel.

You make sure your word count is in the query, so the agent knows what they're getting into. You know your genre so your agent can start figuring out how to best market your novel. You drop the "simultaneous submission" to let the agent know that you're not putting all your eggs in one basket.

Even if your request gets rejected, keep your head up, allow yourself the 15 minute window, and start sending queries again.

Happy submitting! :)

Withdrawing A Submission

Whew, that was a long weekend. At some point, my roommate's dog ran away, but the good news is, he spent the night with some friendly people from New Hampshire and arrived safely home this afternoon. (I made sure to cuddle Baxter extra tight because I couldn't imagine him being gone for any length of time.)

Other than that, I received an e-mail yesterday from a gentleman asking if I had any advice on how to craft a letter that withdraws a submission. (This is kind of the flip side of Nudging an Agent :) )

So here's my advice (Fancy style):

Dear Baxter* 

 It is with great regret (or some very eloquent word here) that I must withdraw my query/submission/etc, The Night Baxter Slept on the Floor**, from your agency. 

Thank you for your time and consideration (this is always my favorite closing),

Lynne Schmidt


Another way (Super simple):

Dear Baxter*,

 I would like to withdraw my submission/query/etc, The Night Baxter Slept on the Floor**. 

Thank you so much for your time and consideration,

Lynne Schmidt

*Baxter is not actually an agent. Well, I mean, I do read some of my stuff out loud to him, but in all reality, he is my dog (see his page above?). So, with that--Be sure to address it as Mr. or Ms. Agent, but use their actual last name.

 **Include the name of your submission


Here's the key:
You don't actually have to say why you're withdrawing it; you just need to tell them that you are withdrawing it. You can thank them for their time, you can wish them a great day. It doesn't really matter, just be sure to get it to the correct agent (and agency), make sure they know which work is yours, and that you're withdrawing it.

I hope this helps :)

Recap: 2011

Overall, I would say that 2011 was a productive writing year for me. I didn't get published, and really, I'm okay with that. Here's why:

Confessions of an Immortal Heart advanced to round two of Amazon's Breakthrough Young Adult Novel Contest. Not only that, but I also got a full manuscript request by an agent. It was rejected, but it gave me intense amounts of hope. (Now that I've had time to digest and attend more conferences, I know EXACTLY why it was rejected. Oh....too much telling and not enough showing... :) )

I wrote Igniting a Firestarter in 28 days. I wrote Character Defects in just under a month. And My Sister's Memories took just over a month.

I had three agent requests for Character Defects (rejections, but the hope keeps piling on), and two editor requests (still waiting to hear back).

In the last year, I also read my work out loud to a crowd of people at an open mic night. I joined a critique group, and landed some stellar beta readers. There were also conferences. Lovely, lovely conferences.

At this point, I'm really okay getting rejected in 2011, and I'm really stoked to be getting requests. Why? Because it means I'm doing something right enough to get people who say "I'd be wiling to take a look at that," and something wrong enough to push me to take another look at what I've done.

Remember:

Each rejection is a step in the right direction. Be brave, keep pushing, don't give up. 

Nudging Agents

You know how when you apply for a new job, you wait about a week for the employers to look over your resume, your application, and then you call and ask for the manager, and call, and call, and harass and then get hired?

Landing an agent is NOT like that.

A writer friend of mine and I were chatting today and she has several partials out in the world that she's waiting to hear back from. It's been about three months, and we discussed what to do. Some people say "Never nudge the agent!" some say "A little nudging is okay". I agree with the ladder. But there are things to consider:

**On the agency website, they usually have a section where it says "Query response time: 2-4 weeks, Partial: 4-8" etc. Make sure they've had it for x-length of time before contacting them
**After you've deemed that they've had it for x-length of time and one day, contact them via e-mail. Phone attacking is usually a poor life decision and freaks out agents (or so I've read on their blogs... :) ).
**In said e-mail, be sure to include name of novel, the fact that you're nudging after the allotted response time, and what your novel was about (essentially re-sending the query letter so they know what you're talking about)
**Thank them

I've only ever nudged an agent once, it was a brief, "Hi. A few months ago you requested --Novel Name-- from me. Your agency guidelines say response time is X-LENGTH OF TIME and it's a little after that. My novel is about QUERY LETTER, and I was just checking in to see if you've had the chance to review it. Thank you again for your time."

I've read some agency blogs that say nudging is okay. I also understand that agents get busy and sometimes bogged down in the slush pile. Don't be overbearing. This isn't like trying to get a job at a Target, there is a lot of waiting involved, and professionalism. If you get antzy, start writing something new, get your mind off things.

But if you're asking how to handle editors who have partials....I have no idea. I'm still learning about how to handle those situations.

Things To Expect From The Submission Process

Waiting.

When you're submitting anything; manuscript, short story, poems...anything, there is a waiting period. Some agents get back to you in under twenty minutes. Some competitions say "Winners announced in November". Some places that say "Winners announced X-Month" will get pushed back to "Z-Month". All I know is that it's a huge waiting game of hope, and fear, and anxiety, and nervousness when opening my e-mail. All the time I'm scared. But it's the good kind. I think.

Outside of that, if you get a request for a manuscript, you'll wait to hear back (most agents that I've read up on say -full- manuscript can take 4-8 weeks, sometimes longer). If you land an agent, you'll wait while they pitch for you. If you land a publisher, you'll wait for for your book to be published. (I know an author who waited 18 months for her novel to get published.)

Otherwise, if your submissions consist of literary magazines or contests you'll wait to hear back for the winner. Sometimes they move in advancements for rounds (in example: "Advance to round two" "Advance to round 50"). Even if you get accepted or win, chances are you'll be waiting for the publication.

So, if you're a writer and trying to get published, find things to do while you wait. I vote, write more. I hear it's the best way to fend off writer's block.
:)

On Bravery

I'm a coward. I don't like confrontation, I don't like to say things I know I'll get ostracized for. Submissions kill me because I have to develop thick skin so the rejections don't hurt. And they don't anymore, thankfully.

Yet--I've had a request for a full manuscript. Which I am minutes away from submitting right now. Minutes. And I'm terrified. It's over 200 pages, and I have the urge to edit AGAIN but that would probably take another month...I'm trying to tell myself I trust my writing. I trust the people who edited for me. I'm trying to remind myself to breathe, be confident, believe in my story. After all, it's a love story. I'm a romantic. I love this story. It should work, right? The agent should love it, right?

But I am so scared. This novel is different because the main characters don't have names. It's constantly, "Me" or "I" or "him" or "he". No Wes, Pat, Chris, Laura, Elizabeth. What if the agent doesn't like it?

I'm constantly telling myself right now the "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take". This could be my shot. This could be everything I've ever wanted. It's so hard to breathe. I'm channeling Eminem saying, "So here I go, it's my shot, feet fail me not. This may be the only opportunity I got."

Breathe and push send. Breathe and push send.
Or....breathe and push post. Which is what I'll do now. Thanks for allowing me to share my anxiety.

The Editing Phase

The rejection letters are rolling in. Some amazingly awesome rejections...some average. But the fact is, they're still rejections, and they're probably my fault. So how to remedy this? Oh, right. Edit. Edit. Edit. 

The biggest thing I need to work on is my hook. My "What is your novel about"? I'm finding that each time someone asks me what my novels are about, my answer changes. How does it change? It gets stronger. The problem I'm running into as the writer, is that I know my stories inside and out. I can almost tell you on which page these people interact, what they say...etc. But on the smaller scale of things, these interactions don't matter and won't hold up in a query letter.

So, I've been having to take a step back. What makes my story interesting? Why would other people want to read it? And finally, what is my story about? I'm going to continually ask myself these questions until I'm in Seattle actually meeting with people at the PNWA conference (or Orlando and the LitDay adventure!!).

Outside of query editing, I've finished my second round of Igniting a Firestarter. It is now 215 pages, and just above 61,000 words. Last night I also resubmitted Confessions of an Immortal Heart which meant more editing for that novel (still around 73,000 words). I'm also excited because I've picked up more readers for both novels...by pitch alone. 

If you read my interviews with myself, I ask "What are your novels about?" I used to HATE that question. Now, I look forward to it because it puts me on the spot, and I need to say something quickly to whoever asks so they don't lose interest. I feel like this will help with speed pitching to agents, or even regular pitching. 

I cannot wait for Orlando and Seattle. Cannot. Wait.

Reading Anxiety

As a writer, I think my biggest fear (aside from fear of the dark, fear of black widow spiders, fear of clowns...etc) is having new people say, "Hey, can I read what you've written?"

My first instinct is to think "YES!!! A NEW PROOF READER!", and I get really excited... Until I print something off, or go to click the "Send" button through e-mail. It's all fun and games until that point. Right then, I feel crippling anxiety take over, "Oh, God, what if they don't like it?" "What if they find out I'm not as good as I think I am?" Then there's always the fear of, "What if they try to steal my work...my ideas?" (Which has actually happened. I wrote my friend a poem, and he stole a line from it and put it into his story WITHOUT asking. And then proceeded to say "I thought we wrote that together". Yea. No.)

When I send these materials, I find myself constantly apologizing and saying things like, "Let me know if there's anything you don't like." This is (in reality) a good thing to say, I want to edit, I want my work to be more readable to others. But at the same time, I end the e-mail with, "You may not like this...but".

Now--put this in perspective for literary agents or literary magazines. The query and cover letters are supposed to say "This is what my novel/piece is about..." and "I am strong and confident with my work." You're not supposed to apologize. You're not supposed to allow yourself the weakness you feel. You're supposed to expect that they'll love your writing and want to print you...as soon as possible.

Maybe I get more anxious with people I know reading my work (especially Creative Nonfiction...as there are some stories people who know me, just shouldn't know). Maybe I'm afraid of what they'll say about it...Thankfully, most everyone who has read what I've written is constructive with their criticism and willing to read the re-write. They're not afraid to say "This is weak, this is lacking, I am not engaged with your narrator". Some also say, "This line is awesome. I totally know what you mean."

The writing world is terrifying to me. But just as I mentioned being constantly afraid of speaking in public in this blog, I fight through my fear. Every. Day. I. Can. It can only make me a better writer.

Early On Day 16: Excuses, Excuses

For Igniting a Firestarter:

47,677 Words

169 Pages (Running A Little Behind...Fully Intend To Catch Up!!)

(This now lowers my page to 3,178 words/day and 11 pages/day)

Now...the excuses as to WHY I'm so far behind:

As previously stated, my sister has come back and we've been spending a lot of time catching up (via Wii). Outside of that, as this blog is called The Submission Process...I've been doing that; submitting.

This week I've entered into three competitions: Creative Nonfiction (their subject is Anger and Revenge. How awesome is that?), as well as a poetry competition from Southeast Review, and their short-short story competition.

There are many deadlines coming up on March 15th and March 31st, so I'm trying to get a head start and the novel project has kind of taken a back seat. I fully intend to catch up between today and tomorrow.

Another One On Goals

I believe in goals. I believe they help you stay on track and push yourself to do better. It might be because I was a Cross Country runner throughout high school and our biggest competition was ourselves...or it might be because I LOVE the satisfaction that comes hand in hand with accomplishment, so I strive to give myself a reason to feel it. Either way, I always have goals. Long term, short term, temporary....

My first novel (tentatively called The Dying Process, or Confessions of an Immortal Heart) had its skeleton written mostly by the time I finished high school. In college, it got its ending, and now it's trying to find itself an agent. The goal of course for this, is to be published. The temporary goal is to see if I'll write a sequel...which I've been considering for about a month now..

My second novel...is still in the works. It was started for Tammy Henry (who also deserves a shout out here as being my first official reader for novel number one!!) because she gave me the little green book and a pack of pens to write with. I hand wrote over 80 pages that ended up getting typed up (and there are still more that I haven't....). But this one has me at a writers block, and has, sadly for a few years. I think about it from time to time (and the narrator has graced me with some vivid, vivid nightmares)...and I hope someday to also get this one published (this one is more on the adult side of the audience). So the goal for this, is to actually finish it....sooner rather than later.

My third novel...was started Thursday, February 24, 2011. In this time, the narrator has been circulating in my mind and shelled out 55 pages (15,420 words!). I am in awe of how much I've done. Seriously, I'm like a writing machine right now. Because of this, my goal is to write 10 pages a day. I told someone jokingly, that I'd have a novel written in about 20 days at this pace. Now I'm considering really trying that out. I know how the novel will end, I know the plot and characters...it's just tying one piece to the other in a coherent fashion. I read the first chapter to my sister the other morning, and she gave me the biggest compliment I could receive from her: "I think I'd actually read this one!" (See previous blogs for an explanation as to why this is huge.) 

This novel has the potential to be a series, which is daunting to even consider. Where I'm thinking of ending it however, it would at least need a sequel to tie up some loose ends that'll be floating in the reader's mind.

So primary goal for this novel: write 10 pages a day, or more (that way I'll have some slack off time the following day).

Today was supposed to be spent working on short stories and things like that because some competitions are wrapping up tomorrow for submissions....and...I'm thinking I don't have enough money right now. Plus there are several coming up March 15-16 and 31 that I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to enter into. So...I think I'll hold off on the March 1st deadlines, focus all my energy on novel three, and in a week or so, hit the competitions hard. 

Wish me luck, and have an awesome day!

15 Minute Window

So, you've received your first rejection letter. No? Maybe your sixth? Maybe more?

Firstly, congrats on submitting to that many people. Hopefully you researched them, and decided that you were what they were looking for.  (Remember, personalize each query, each submission, if you didn't do this, this may be why you're staring at a shiney rejection letter)
Secondly, from the second you open that letter, you have what I consider the 15 Minute Window. In this time you're allowed to think:
What the f@#k?!
Oh man, I'm so sad!
Why didn't they like me?
Who cares I don't need them! I'll find someone better.

***********NOTICE*********

I said THINK these things. DO NOT, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER send a letter to the agent telling them this. Keep these things to yourself, or maybe a friend who is in person. Do NOT write a blog complaining, do not blow up your facebook wall, or your twitter if you have it. THINK these things. Or eat some ice cream. Maybe some oreos (which reminds me...I just ran out). Maybe even open a beer.

For these fifteen minutes, you're allowed to cry, to throw things, to punch your pillows, whatever you feel, (except attack the agent or editor who rejected you). Once that 15 Minute Window passes...

GET YOUR HEAD BACK IN THE GAME

Chances are you were rejected due to a flaw in your manuscript. If people you've only QUERIED are rejecting you, maybe you need to start with your pitch. Re-edit. If you've been re-editing for what feels like forever and you're sick of your story, take a break from it. Start something new. JUST. KEEP. WRITING. Keep the creativity flowing. Hey, maybe even turn the person you were rejected from into an evil monster with sixteen eyes.

Keep trucking along. At some point, re-edit everything: your synopsis, your query, your MANUSCRIPT. Then find other agencies, other contests, and resubmit.

Yes, it's sad you've been rejected (I'm openly weeping for you right now). But the rest of us have been cast away too (even if it was being the kid picked last for dodge ball).

Keep your head up. This is a long distance race, not a short sprint :)

An Interview With Myself About Confessions Of An Immortal Heart

So...I'm bored and tired so I'm going to interview myself to answer all of your lovely questions about Confessions of an Immortal Heart. Why am I asking them? Because they're things I've been wanting to explain to people who are in the process of reading, or potential agents:

When did you write this?

I wrote this my sophomore year of high school? I know it wasn't my freshmen year, but I may have started it then. I finished it sometime in college when I submitted (kind of crappily) to an agent. Of course I got rejected.

Why did you write this?

Erika Wilke told me one day to write a story for her...so I started...and kept going...and it kept going. I felt bad because I kept saying "Oh, you'll have it by Easter, by my birthday...by the time I graduate...." but she still hasn't gotten a copy....(Now she and I don't really talk that much..)

So.....What happens if this gets published?

Well, hopefully I'd be able to do a book tour. I've moved around a lot, so I have three solid fan bases: in the towns of Shepherd, Mt. Pleasant, Auburn, and Bay City, Michigan (my home state), so I feel like that would be a good place to start. (I'd LOVE to have a book signing at Book Mark in Mt. Pleasant, or somewhere in Bay City, and I feel like I would have a good turn out.)
In Biddeford/Portland, Maine, where I attended the University of New England (getting a Med Bio degree!). I have a lot of friends that way who constantly say, "When you get published, I'll be in the store to buy it!" When I was published in Zephyr, a few people made me sign their copies which was HUGELY flattering. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have a signing at Bullmoose. And then on the Outerbanks of North Carolina where I currently reside. It's a smaller following, but I work for a pretty big company (Kitty Hawk Kites), so I feel maybe we could do a co-thing? Try to get both of our names out there?
Thankfully with these places, I feel I'd be able to set up the book signings myself (with maybe some research and direction from an agent/editor...but if they don't have time, I could figure it out. It's not that hard to call places and I'm familiar with the areas in question/the bookstores.)

So, the main characters don't have names...why?

When I first wrote it, I just kept going back to "I" and "me" and "he" and "him" thinking that I would name the characters later. But as time progressed, I listened to people talk about their significant others, and they constantly said, "I'm going out with him" "She's mad at me again". The more I listened the more I heard that we as people don't usually use names, and it's seems like it's a sign of affection. If you're with someone, you love them, and everyone else knows. You talk about them without using their names....so...if you're telling a story about losing the person you love, everyone should know who that is without having to say the name.
I feel like this tactic makes the character more relateable (some may disagree, like my sister). But without names, the characters can become anyone they want to be, it can become your story, it can become mine.
Plus, I read Swann's Way in college, and the narrator was "I"...so I felt it was okay.

How many rounds of editing has this piece gone through?

Oh geeze....umm...a million?
When it was first finished, I left it alone for a few years and went back to it. As I read through it, I found that the writing was unGodly weak, but I had some solid ideas behind the writing. Around the same time I read Three Weeks With My Brother, by Nick Sparks, and he talked about his first book, and how he scrapped it, and I considered doing the same with this...but there was something about it saying "Just edit me, just edit me!" so for the last few years, it's what I've been doing.
When I finally got it to the point I started considering submitting to agents, I sent it out to friends who were avid readers and read things like Twilight, or Harry Potter, and things that were slightly outside our realm of comfort (except, again for my sister...this is NOT her genre). They LOVED the idea behind it. My sister on the other hand said, "I read three pages, lost interest. Please don't make me read anymore."

Wow, that was harsh....what did you do?

Well...I looked at from the reader/author relationship. If she's not connecting well enough to the character, it's a problem on my end of things. I ended up cutting the intro from about 20 pages, down to 5. I described in more detail the world the narrator lived in and rearranged a million scenes.
She later had a problem with the first meeting scene, so I added more dialog with that. I also completely deleted chapter 9 because...well...it sucked. I'm not afraid of changing things as long as it conveys what the story is about

And what is the novel about?

Hahahaha, I hate this question. Actually after the first rejection today, I went to Taco Tuesdays and told the bartender about being rejected after she asked me how I was. We finished our conversation and I heard someone behind me say "So...what's your novel about?"
I laughed and said, "Okay, but you gotta not judge me."
So in short: The narrator is immortal (and unnamed as previously discussed). While most stories have the man stronger, this one revolves around her trying to protect him in some way. Well....he gets murdered, and she basically loses her mind and goes on a killing rampage.
(In this description, I leave out the fact that 90% of the novel builds up to that moment, and explains their relationship together. It follows their meeting where she hated him, to falling in love with him, right up to his death).

Wow. That's pretty intense. What is your inspiration behind this?

Well...there's a lot. The relationship/emotional aspect of the story revolves around my relationship with the guy I loved in high school. Some of the stories are based around things we did, and really it gives me the strongest sense of love and the ability to write about what I felt at that time period.
The death scene and those emotions around it are tied into the death of my best friend, Kellie Lynne Wheeler, who was killed in a car accident when she was seventeen. (I was in my sophomore year of high school when my sister called and told me the news...). It's hard going from returning home from school each day and waiting by the computer to chat with her...to suddenly never seeing her log on again. I wanted something to cement the fact that it's okay to grieve forever, to be in pain from the absence of someone you love. I was so pissed when I went to school, and a week later one of my friends said, "It's been a week, you're not over it yet?" I wanted to strangle him.
I wrote the murder scenes when I was pissed off at my sisters for one reason or another. It helped manage my anger :)

What do books do you consider to be similar?

Umm....the romances are similar to that of the Twilight Saga (the whole "Oh man, this person is my entire world, and I feel like I'd die without them) and the Kissed By An Angel Trilogy (the guy dies and she has to learn how to function again....)

What is your target age group?

When I started this, I was in high school, so that was my original target. But now I'm 22, and have friends my age, and older, and younger. Most of the people who've been reading this are between the ages of 20-40+, but most of us still feel like young adults. I think because of the LOSS and LOVE factors of the novel, anyone who has lost someone can related to the narrator's story. So really, all ages, I guess (though there are some rather graphic scenes)...so maybe young adult and older? If you're making me be specific, I'd aim for 14 and older.

Would you be willing to do an audio CD or anything like that?

I would be. I'm not sure how those work, like...would I be the one reading, or do they hire someone to do it? I'd honestly kind of like to be the reader (don't get me wrong, I hate the sound of my voice), but I LOVE Sylvia Plath, and for the first time last year, I heard a recording of her reading, and it was....horrifying, and inspiring, and if my work reaches anyone, I'd like them to be able to hear -me-. If not...that's okay, I'm sure I'll get to do a partial reading at some point in my life :) Yey youtube!

What other things are you working on?

Well, I'm midway through my second novel, which I started writing because of the great Tammy Henry. If that one gets published, it will be dedicated to her. It's tentatively called The Secret Keeper. I've been working on the ending for quite some time now....
I also write short stories, nonfiction, and poetry, so a lot of my time has been spent submitting things to competitions and trying to bulk up my resume/publishing background.


Okay, I feel like that's sufficient. If you guys have any questions about the novel, the submission process, or anything else, feel free to let me know and I'll answer!

Jumping The Gun

I jumped the gun to my deadline and submitted my first query letter today to Vickie Motter of Andrea Hurst Literary Management. I'm terrified and shaking (which could be because I'm starving...). On Tuesday the next round of query letters will go out.

All agents are interested in paranormal romance or magical realism (and mine is kind of a cross breed, oh, and throw some revenge romance in there!). I feel like all of them would like The Dying Process (which has been re-named from The Immortal, as well as Memories of an Immortal Heart).

I would love to tell them (or anyone else) how much this story has saved me...it helped me through Kellie's death, the incredible feelings of loss and confusion that to this day resurface...through Alex's betrayal...While it is completely fiction (clearly, I'm human) there are pieces of me that were poured into this work.

With no further monologuing (not sure if I spelled that right, and I currently don't have spell check...) here is my query letter:

Dear Agent (Don't worry, I actually used their names for this),

He’s dead, and really that’s the only thing that matters to her. In the young adult novel, The Dying Process, which is just over 67,000 words, the unnamed narrator falls in love with an also unnamed young man who is murdered much too soon. No one else believes his death was deliberate, not even his family. Through their minimal time together, he tried teaching her to let her explosive anger pass, but it refuses to leave her. He was the only thing that pacified her. Now he’s gone and she becomes overwhelmed with raw emotions of loss, helplessness, and vengeance.

The lack of names plays into the ending of the mixed paranormal-revenge romance and magical realism based novel. Set in a dystopic world where all ice caps have melted and the Earth is in ruin, the immortal narrator is not a vampire, werewolf, angel, or zombie; she simply has not died. Unlike the typical "male is immortal and female is in danger" love story, the girl is the one with the quirk and the male love interest is breakable. She is a strong, angry protagonist who responds via emotion. The story also dances around the question, is she actually immortal, or is it the loss she's encountered that makes her feel so ancient? Is she actually capable of dying?
 
My publication history includes an essay in Authors of Tomorrow, and several short stories and poems published sequentially in the 2007-2010 editions of Zephyr, the University of New England’s literary magazine. I am also a regular attendee of the AWP Conferences. This is my first young adult novel and this is a simultaneous submission.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration,




Lynne Schmidtsschmidt1026@gmail.com

Patience

I'm not a patient girl. I never have been. I eat undercooked rice because it takes too long for the water to boil. I don't like making meals because the prep time is extensive. Usually I eat freezer ready meals, which magically after two minutes in the microwave still have chunks of ice on them. (As long as the chicken feels/tastes cooked, I don't usually go through round two of a microwave...I will most likely contract some form of food poisoning soon). I skim boring parts of books. If a movie doesn't take off quick enough, I do something else (like fall asleep). If I'm chatting with people and they take too long to respond, I get bored and walk away from the computer. (You get the idea.)


So, right now, my novel is completely written. Honestly, it has been since high school, and I've been editing it ever since. It has had a major facial reconstruction, and idea construction. To me, the ending finally makes sense. But, parts are still not as strong as I'd like them to be. So I've been going through, tearing apart pages and chapters, and making it stronger. I've also had the help of the wonderful Tammy Henry, Laura Schmidt, Alyssa Wells Midler, and Elizabeth Henry. Though being torn to shreds hurts...it helps to know "I can't engage with this character," and know I'm doing something wrong. Because of this editorial statement, the entire introduction and first chapter were re-done so that the reader has a better grasp of who this woman is. 


I've found people I want to submit to (as previously stated). The one woman I want to submit to more than anything wants a short and concise query letter. She wants paranormal romance. She wants something different...and I think I'd be a good fit for her. But, she also wants a very polished manuscript....Well, up to chapter ten or so is polished....?


Right now I have to keep my query letter in the FINISHED folder of my external hard-drive. I take it out and send to people to see what they think. I've just received word from a PUBLISHED AUTHOR, Zu Vincent, that she is willing to read said letter and give suggestions. (I met her last year at the AWP conference.) She and I will both be attending the 2011 conference in Washington D.C., and I'm hoping to be able to attend her panel. Either way, it is taking everything I have in me not to just balls out and type said agent's e-mail address into the "Send" tab, and blow my shot.


But kids, it takes patience. You have to be PERFECT. Your work has to be PERFECT. It pays to be patient, to wait it out, to continue editing. So, I have set a deadline: February 15th. Why? Because I fucking HATE Valentine's Day, and February, so this will give me something to look forward to. Plus, because there is a deadline, the possibility isn't stretching into the abyss, there is a set time frame I am forcing myself to work under. If my editors haven't finished, then I'm saying screw them and submitting anyway. I feel like my query letter is strong enough, I feel like the first three chapters are strong enough. 


But, I said I would wait, and so I will. 

The Nerve Wracking Excitement

Firstly, I'd just like to say that I had to look up if the word wracking spelling and all, is correct. Turns out it is, so back off. :)

Secondly, the excitement. I said in my first post I had been rejected from Tin House. I lied. While I haven't been accepted, they've had my work for almost three months now. At the 90-100 day mark, I will be contacting them to see what the deal is.

This is why I'm SUPER excited though:

"Winter 2011 
Beauty. Deadline April 1.  For our special 50th Issue, we will be having some fun with the idea of beauty. We are looking for fiction, poetry, and nonfiction that confronts notions of beauty across cultures, economic strata, genders, and races. What is beauty? What is art? We are looking for personal takes on what is beautiful. Think of Francis Bacon: "There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion." We’ll also be looking for pieces that look into the marketing of beauty, and how notions of beauty are used to create celebrity and at the same time to marginalize and exclude. "

Here is what my query letter said: 

"...I am submitting a prose piece with a word count totaling 1,678 words. It is titled Breaking Myself Down, about a girl essentially tearing herself apart bit by bit to get to something more natural to her and her being and less socially placed.  I feel like in today’s age they tell people to look, act, and think a certain way, to the point that the outside is the shell and the inside is a stranger. This piece is the recognition of that, and facing who you are/what you are/and what people go through..."

I feel as though I've submitted what they're looking for, and I submitted during their reading period. They've had it for awhile. Could this be the first piece I get published? (As stated before, I've had minor things in Zephyr and Authors of Tomorrow, but this feels different....i wasn't really trying with those)

I am super hopeful right now. I will keep ya'll posted.